[Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10

Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com> Thu, 13 December 2018 23:12 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart telechat review of draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
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Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-ietf-ntp-bcp-10
Reviewer: Robert Sparks
Review Date: 2018-12-13
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-08
IESG Telechat date: 2018-12-20

Summary: Ready (but with nits that should be considered) for publication as a
BCP RFC

Nits/editorial comments:

With a couple of exceptions, the changes between -07 and -10 are very helpful -
the document reads much more naturally.

One of the changes was to be more specific with actors - many uses of "you" or
"your" were replaced with "the operator" for example. But this wasn't done
throughout the document ("you" and "your" still appear frequently), and in at
least one place the change caused a sentence to stop making sense: "If the time
on your network has to be correct close to 100% of the time, then even if you
are using a satellite-based system, operators need to plan for those rare
instances when the system is unavailable (or wrong!)."

I strongly encourage yet another pass focusing on removing "you" and "your" to
the extent possible.

The changes also included using 2119 keywords much more often. Unfortunately
many of the new uses are not appropriate. "Vendors MUST" and several instances
of "It is RECOMMENDED" are particularly jarring. Moving 2119 to be an
Informational reference is also incorrect if you are going to use those terms
in this document.