Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-dhc-access-network-identifier-08.txt

Thanks for your review, Francis. Authors, you’ve taken these notes into account?

Jari

On 03 Jun 2015, at 07:55, Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
> you may receive.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-dhc-access-network-identifier-08.txt
> Reviewer: Francis Dupont
> Review Date: 20150601
> IETF LC End Date: 20150609
> IESG Telechat date: unknown
> 
> Summary: Ready
> 
> Major issues: None
> 
> Minor issues: None
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> - ToC page 2 and 10 page 16: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
>  (BTW you wrote behavior, not behaviour, so please keep US spelling :-)
> 
> - 3 page 5: I was looking for the RFC 2119 reference there but
>  it was just after the Abstract. So I went to the RFC-Editor webpages
>  to read what the last RFC Style Guide says: the requirement language
>  section is supposed to be in the body (vs headers) after the introduction
>  (i.e., exactly where I expected to find it :-).
>  Note it doesn't really matter and if something needs to be fixed it is
>  more likely the tool you used...
> 
> - 4.3.1 page 7: Identifier[ANI].
>                           ^ insert a space here
> 
> - 4.4.2 page 10: Ex: -> e.g.,
> 
> - 4.4.2 page 10: the DNS encoding is a bit ambiguous because there are
>  (too) many things in RFC 1035. I think you mean the wire format (vs
>  text format) but perhaps it should be better to be more accurate in
>  the wording?
> 
> - 7 page 14 (twice): must -> MUST.
> 
> - 7 page 14: I suggest to change:
>    ... When generating a response, the server echoes
>   back Relay Agent Information options
> 
> by
> 
>    ... When generating a response, the server SHALL
>   echo back Relay Agent Information options
> 
> - 9 page 15: And, [RFC3118] and [RFC3315] -> [RFC3118] and [RFC3315]
> 
> - 9 page 15: draft-ietf-dhc-sedhcpv6-07.txt is under IESG review,
>  perhaps will be published before your document, and obsoletes
>  a part of the argument (unfortunately not the "in active use"
>  even the day before my review I finished the code of a secure DHCPv6
>  prototype :-).
> 
> - authors' addresses pages 17 and 18: no uniformity in the case of
>  country names (The UPU says upper case but this doesn't apply to
>  I-Ds/RFCs... The RFC-Editor will fix addresses).
> 
> Regards
> 
> Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
> 
> PS for native English speakers: is unsecure proper English? My speller
> says insecure and unsecured are but not unsecure.
> 
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Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-dhc-access-network-identifier-08.txt

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