[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-mip4-multiple-tunnel-support-12

["Vijay K. Gurbani" <[e-mail]>]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mip4-multiple-tunnel-support-12
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: May-15-2015
IETF LC End Date: May-25-2015
IESG Telechat date: Not known

This document is ready as an Experimental Standard.  A couple of points
below need addressing, though.

Major: 0
Minor: 2
Nits:  1

Minor:
1/ S4.1, second paragraph: "This extension is a non-skippable extension
    and MAY be added by the mobile node to the Registration Request
    message."

    Two comments.

    First, does "non-skippable" mean "MUST be present"?  If so, why "non-
    skippable"?  At least I have not seen such a phrase in an IETF
    document before.  My suggestion would be to simply say that "This
    extension MUST be present and ..."

    Which brings us to the second comment.

    "... and MAY be added by the mobile node ..."  This extension is
    "non-skippable" (?) but a mobile node MAY add it.  If the extension
    is "non-skippable", then why the MAY?

    Furthermore, if the intent is for some other entity to add this
    extension if the mobile node does not (hence the justification of
    MAY), then you should spell out who this entity is.  (Sort of
    how you do it in S4.2, second paragraph, which contains almost
    identical language to above without the qualifying last phrase
    that informs the reader who will add the extension if not the
    mobile node.)

2/ S4.2, second paragraph: Consider changing the "non-skippable"
    to "MUST be present" (c.f., above comment).

Nits:
1/ S2.2, the following sentence does not read well:
    A mobile node, when it registers multiple bindings with its home
    agent, each using different care-of addresses, then each of those
    bindings are given a unique identifier.

  Suggested text:

    When a mobile node registers multiple bindings with its home
    agent, each using a different care-of address, then each of those
    bindings are given a unique identifier.

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60563 (USA)
Email: vkg@{bell-labs.com,acm.org} / [e-mail]
Web: http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/  | Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq