Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-anima-stable-connectivity-07
Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in> Thu, 11 January 2018 14:36 UTC
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From: Alissa Cooper <alissa@cooperw.in>
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Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2018 09:36:32 -0500
Cc: gen-art <gen-art@ietf.org>, anima@ietf.org, draft-ietf-anima-stable-connectivity.all@ietf.org
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To: Matthew Miller <linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-anima-stable-connectivity-07
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Matt, thanks for your review. I have entered a No Objection ballot and asked for your nits to be addressed. Alissa > On Nov 26, 2017, at 3:48 PM, Matthew Miller <linuxwolf+ietf@outer-planes.net> wrote: > > Reviewer: Matthew Miller > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-anima-stable-connectivity-07 > Reviewer: Matthew A. Miller > Review Date: 2017-11-26 > IETF LC End Date: 2017-11-26 > IESG Telechat date: N/A > > Summary: > > This document is ready to be published as informational, but there are > a number of nits that ought be addressed before final publication. > > Overall, the document is > > Major issues: NONE > > Minor issues: NONE > > Nits/editorial comments: > > * Throughout, there is a mix of the term "data plane" and "data-plane". > One form should be chosen and the rest corrected to match. > > * In Section 1.2. "Data Communications Networks (DCNs)", first > paragraph; "'th" should be "'s" (or just "s"): "In the late > 1990'th and ..." should be "In the late 1990s and ...". > > * In Section 1.2. "Data Communications Networks (DCNs)", first > paragraph; the word "where" should be "were" in the fragment > "These where (and still are) ...". > > * In Section 1.2. "Data Communications Networks (DCNs)", first > paragraph; there is a missing "a" between "are" and "separate" in > the fragment "they are separate network entirely". > > * In Section 2.1.1. "Simple Connectivity for Non-ACP capable NMS > Hosts", first paragraph; there is a mismatch in plurality in the > third sentence; instead of: > > """ > They acts as the default router to those NMS hosts and provide them > with IPv6 connectivity into the ACP. > """ > > it should be: > > """ > They act as the default routers to those NMS hosts and provide them > with IPv6 connectivity into the ACP. > """ > > * In Section 2.1.3. "Simultaneous ACP and Data Plane Connectivity", > last paragraph; the following sentence seems to be missing a word > or two: > > """ > If the secure ACP was extendable via untrusted routers then it would > be a lot more verify the secure domain assertion. > """ > > * In Section 2.1.4. "IPv4-only NMS Hosts", second paragraph after the > ordered list; the word "thought" should be "through" in the fragment > "... be reachable thought the IPv6/IPv4 ...". > > * In Section 2.1.5. "Path Selection Policies", fourth paragraph from > the section's end; there is an extra "of" between "shaping" and "at": > > """ > Traffic policing and/or shaping of at the ACP edge in the NOC can be > used to throttle applications such as software download into the ACP. > """ > > * In Section 2.2. "Stable Connectivity for Distributed Network/OAM", > second paragraph; there is a missing "to" between "start" and > "provide" in the fragment "... tried to start provide common ...". > > * In Section 2.2. "Stable Connectivity for Distributed Network/OAM", > second paragraph; the word "applicable" should be "applied" in the > fragment "... how ell it applicable to a ...". > > * In Section 3.1. "No IPv4 for ACP", third paragraph; the word "as" > should be "to" in the fragment "... from a native transport as just > a service on the edge." > > * In Section 3.1. "No IPv4 for ACP", last paragraph; the word "type" > should be "types" in the fragment "In other type of networks as > well, ...". > > * In Section 3.1. "No IPv4 for ACP", last paragraph; the word "support" > should be "supported" in the fragment "... family will be support so > all use...". > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > Gen-art@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-a… Matthew Miller
- Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ie… Alissa Cooper
- Re: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ie… Toerless Eckert