[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-tictoc-ptp-enterprise-profile-24

Susan Hares via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Mon, 04 March 2024 13:13 UTC

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Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-tictoc-ptp-enterprise-profile-24
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Reviewer: Susan Hares
Review result: Ready with Nits

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>.

Document: draft-ietf-tictoc-ptp-enterprise-profile-??
Reviewer: Susan Hares
Review Date: 2024-03-04
IETF LC End Date: 2024-03-05
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: I want to thank the authors for carefully adjusting the technical
document to the new terms.

Major issues: none

Minor issues: none

Nits/editorial comments:  English language editorial nits.

Nit #1: in Section 6, last paragraph, sentence five beginning with "Security
problems".

old text:/
Security problems include on-path attacks such as
delay attacks, packet interception / manipulation attacks.
/

New text:
Security problems include on-path attacks such as
delay attacks, packet interception, or manipulation attacks.
/

#Nit2 in Section 8, paragraph 3, sentence 1

Old text:/In PTP Networks that contain Transparent Clocks, time Transmitters
might receive Delay messages that no longer contains the IP
Addresses of Time Receivers./

change /contains/ to /contain/ - for agreement of plural subject to plural verb.

#Nit 3, section 8, paragraph 3, sentence 2, incorrect spelling

Wo "becuase" should be "because".