[Gen-art] LC review: draft-ietf-ips-iser-06.txt

"Joel M. Halpern" <joel@stevecrocker.com> Fri, 12 January 2007 22:44 UTC

Received: from [127.0.0.1] (helo=stiedprmman1.va.neustar.com) by megatron.ietf.org with esmtp (Exim 4.43) id 1H5V7w-0004h9-U5; Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:44:00 -0500
Received: from [10.91.34.44] (helo=ietf-mx.ietf.org) by megatron.ietf.org with esmtp (Exim 4.43) id 1H5V7w-0004cG-5A for gen-art@ietf.org; Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:44:00 -0500
Received: from elasmtp-banded.atl.sa.earthlink.net ([209.86.89.70]) by ietf-mx.ietf.org with esmtp (Exim 4.43) id 1H5V7s-0005fh-Qg for gen-art@ietf.org; Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:44:00 -0500
Received: from [162.83.108.254] (helo=JMHLap3.stevecrocker.com) by elasmtp-banded.atl.sa.earthlink.net with asmtp (Exim 4.34) id 1H5V7r-0007PP-SB; Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:43:56 -0500
Message-Id: <7.0.1.0.0.20070112152538.035973a8@stevecrocker.com>
X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Version 7.0.1.0
Date: Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:43:48 -0500
To: Mary Barnes <mary.barnes@nortel.com>, gen-art@ietf.org
From: "Joel M. Halpern" <joel@stevecrocker.com>
In-Reply-To: <E3F9D87C63E2774390FE67C924EC99BB0AB3E010@zrc2hxm1.corp.nor tel.com>
References: <E3F9D87C63E2774390FE67C924EC99BB0AB3E010@zrc2hxm1.corp.nortel.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format="flowed"
X-ELNK-Trace: 9f083ca8aeb2d326d5a073bfd238dd844d2b10475b5711203e8d914e34567299f5cf2a6b8315c0a09efe4054c37f43aa350badd9bab72f9c350badd9bab72f9c
X-Originating-IP: 162.83.108.254
X-Spam-Score: 0.1 (/)
X-Scan-Signature: cab78e1e39c4b328567edb48482b6a69
Cc:
Subject: [Gen-art] LC review: draft-ietf-ips-iser-06.txt
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www1.ietf.org/pipermail/gen-art>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
Errors-To: gen-art-bounces@ietf.org

[David, given that all the comments are nits, and the large number of 
authors, I am not copying the authors.  If you think the comments 
useful, please relay them to the authors.  Thank you.]


I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
<http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html>http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 


Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: iSCSI Extensions for RDMA Specification
Reviewer: Joel Halpern
Review Date:  January 12, 2007

Summary: This document is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard

Comments:

Nit:  The references to "remote iSER Layer" as a participant in 
communication (in the definitions section) is odd.  I've seen 
references to Layer Instances, Layer Entities, and other 
qualifiers.  But It is unusual to see Layer by itself used this 
way.  (Normally, a layer refers to the collection of communicating 
entities in that layer.  Even the definitions in this document define 
it that way.  A layer is neither local nor remote.)  I suspect that 
most of these occurrences would be better as "Remote Peer" according 
to the definitions. (or remote iSER node or more verbosely the iSER 
layer at the remote node, as per later usage.)

Nit: After the first occurrence of "RDMA-Capable Protocol" in the 
abstract, could you just put "(RCaP)"

Nit: I would include all the acronyms referenced in the definitions 
(SN, RCaP, ...) into the Acronym list.

Nit: I may have missed it, but I did not find a definitions (or 
description) of target and initiator before 2.4.  I presume that this 
is well-defined in other RDMA specs.  A paragraph here (or actual 
definitions in section 1) would be helpful.  (Yes, this can be 
understood once one gets to 2.5.  It is a matter of avoiding usage 
before description problems.) 


_______________________________________________
Gen-art mailing list
Gen-art@ietf.org
https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art