[Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-shmoo-online-meeting-04

[Dale Worley via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Reviewer: Dale Worley
Review result: Ready

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document:  draft-ietf-shmoo-online-meeting-04
Reviewer:  Dale R. Worley
Review Date:  2022-12-06
IETF LC End Date:  2022-12-13
IESG Telechat date:  [unknown]

Summary:

    This draft is ready for publication as an informational RFC, with
    the possible exception of the possible nits listed below.

Nits/editorial comments:

2.  Some History

   participants later indicated in mailing discussion that the period of

"mailing discussion" is an unusual phrase.  Perhaps "mail discussion"
was intended?

   intensive interims had a greater impact on their calendar than a
   single plenary meeting week, and in some meeting.

The final "in some meeting" seems to be incomplete and (given the
context) may be omitting something important.
 
3.3.  Session/Break Length

   The longer breaks, while extending the day, provided adequate time
   for "hallway" conversations using online tools, exercise, and meals.

Probably would be clearer as "... adequate time for meals, exercise,
and "hallway" conversations using online tools."

4.1.  Full vs. limited agenda (and interim meetings)

This section heading and the one for section 4.2 are capitalized
differently from the rest.  But I expect the Editor will deal with
that.

4.2.  Flexibility of time usage

   Hackathon for fully online only meetings is usually held in the week

"fully online only" has two modifiers with the same meaning.

4.4.  Experiments

   Furthermore, the IESG SHOULD announce any such experiment in advance,
   so people can adjust to changes and potentially provide feedback.

I would intensify this as "announce ... well in advance".

6.2.  Informative References

   [_107-FEEDBACK]

I see that there are a number of references with citation tags that
have this unusual format.  Verify this is the intended format rather
than a formatting malfunction.

[END]