[Hipsec-rg] draft-irtf-hiprg-nat-01.txt review

[[e-mail] (Karen R. Sollins)]

In general I find draft-irtf-hiprg-nat-01.txt to be ready to publish 
with a few additional and reiterated small points or nits.  I think 
it does a nice job of identifying and considering the issues, and 
should be valuable.

First, I also found that it didn't quite stand on its own because it 
uses so many acronyms that are not even spelled out.  Perhaps at the 
first usage of each acronym, it should be written out fully, with the 
acronym in parentheses (to hint to the reader that henceforth the 
acronym will be used).

In addition to the nits reported by others, here is my further list:

*  p. 4, 2nd line: "refer to" should be "reference"

* p. 4, 4th line: "It also does not..." - eliminate "also" to read 
"It does not".. (since this is the first negative about what the doc 
does NOT do).

* p. 5, first line - last word is missing.  The sentence ends it 
"before", but doesn't tell me before what - perhaps what is meant is 
"before transmission"?

* p. 5, Sect. 2.2, last sentence, 2nd paragraph: The sentence reads, 
"They may be addressed in the BEHAVE working group or in [RFC3489]." 
This suggests a future action, but one can't plan to do something in 
the future within an already existing RFC, so the sentence needs to 
say something slightly different about what might happen and what has 
already happened.

* Finally, is there an issue with the fact that several of the key 
references (2 normative and 1 informative) are currently only 
Internet Drafts?


			Karen Sollins