RE: Last Call: <draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale-00.txt> (Discussion of the IASA 2.0 Changes as They Relate to the IETF Trust) to Informational RFC

"Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Sat, 22 September 2018 16:34 UTC

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Reply-To: adrian@olddog.co.uk
From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: ietf@ietf.org
Cc: iasa2-chairs@ietf.org, iasa20@ietf.org, draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale@ietf.org, 'Jon Peterson' <jon.peterson@neustar.biz>
Subject: RE: Last Call: <draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale-00.txt> (Discussion of the IASA 2.0 Changes as They Relate to the IETF Trust) to Informational RFC
Date: Sat, 22 Sep 2018 17:34:15 +0100
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Thanks for this document which is in the nature of a "support document"
for draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-update. I have a few minor comments which are
mainly nits.

Best,
Adrian

===

The last call says...

The IESG has received a request from the IETF Administrative Support Activity
2 WG (iasa2) to consider the following document: - 'Discussion of the IASA
2.0 Changes as They Relate to the IETF Trust'
  <draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale-00.txt> as Informational RFC

But Section 1 says...

   This memo is provided only for discussion.  There is no intention to
   publish this memo as an RFC.

Maybe delete this paragraph?

===Nits

idnits says

  ** The document seems to lack a Security Considerations section.

  ** The document seems to lack an IANA Considerations section.  (See Section
     2.2 of https://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist for how to handle the case
     when there are no actions for IANA.)

  == Unused Reference: 'RFC7437' is defined on line 213, but no explicit
     reference was found in the text

  == Unused Reference: 'I-D.ietf-iasa2-trust-update' is defined on line 227,
     but no explicit reference was found in the text

  == Unused Reference: 'RFC5378' is defined on line 232, but no explicit
     reference was found in the text

---

Shouldn't you change [I-D.hall-iasa2-struct] to [I-D.ietf-iasa2-struct]?

---

Abstract
s/IET Administrative/IETF Administrative/

---

Section 1
   separately in draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-update.
You should include a reference.

---

Section 2
I don't think it is necessary to spell out "Internet Engineering Task 
Force (IETF)" on first use, we probably all know what the IETF is. But
if you do feel the need, then you should do it on first use in Section
1.

---

Need to decide whether "ex officio" or "ex-officio"

---

Section 3

s/IETF process/IETF processes/

---

Section 4

s/(but he/(but the/

---

Section 5

OLD
   When new entity for IETF Administration LLC is set up, soon
   thereafter the IAOC will be discontinued.
NEW
   The IAOC will be discontinued soon after the new IETF Administration
   LLC is set up.

---

   Fortunately, there's no
   pressing need to change all the components at the same time.

All components of what?
Maybe...

   Fortunately, there's no
   pressing need to change all the components of the IAOC and its 
   dependent organizations at the same time.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: IETF-Announce [mailto:ietf-announce-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of The
> IESG
> Sent: 22 September 2018 01:38
> To: IETF-Announce
> Cc: iasa2-chairs@ietf.org; iasa20@ietf.org; draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-
> rationale@ietf.org; Jon Peterson
> Subject: Last Call: <draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale-00.txt> (Discussion of the IASA
> 2.0 Changes as They Relate to the IETF Trust) to Informational RFC
> 
> The IESG has received a request from the IETF Administrative Support Activity
> 2 WG (iasa2) to consider the following document: - 'Discussion of the IASA
> 2.0 Changes as They Relate to the IETF Trust'
>   <draft-ietf-iasa2-trust-rationale-00.txt> as Informational RFC
> 
> The IESG plans to make a decision in the next few weeks, and solicits final
> comments on this action. Please send substantive comments to the
> ietf@ietf.org mailing lists by 2018-10-05. Exceptionally, comments may be
> sent to iesg@ietf.org instead. In either case, please retain the beginning of
> the Subject line to allow automated sorting.