Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08
Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com> Mon, 28 November 2016 20:22 UTC
Return-Path: <rjsparks@nostrum.com>
X-Original-To: ietf@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: ietf@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id A3CFF129FBB; Mon, 28 Nov 2016 12:22:29 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -3.397
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-3.397 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, RP_MATCHES_RCVD=-1.497] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id aJRuKnet0kYQ; Mon, 28 Nov 2016 12:22:28 -0800 (PST)
Received: from nostrum.com (raven-v6.nostrum.com [IPv6:2001:470:d:1130::1]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 14D8B129FAB; Mon, 28 Nov 2016 12:22:28 -0800 (PST)
Received: from unnumerable.local ([47.186.56.40]) (authenticated bits=0) by nostrum.com (8.15.2/8.15.2) with ESMTPSA id uASKMR7A016121 (version=TLSv1.2 cipher=ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 bits=128 verify=OK); Mon, 28 Nov 2016 14:22:27 -0600 (CST) (envelope-from rjsparks@nostrum.com)
X-Authentication-Warning: raven.nostrum.com: Host [47.186.56.40] claimed to be unnumerable.local
To: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, "ietf@ietf.org" <ietf@ietf.org>, 6lo@ietf.org, draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule.all@ietf.org
From: Robert Sparks <rjsparks@nostrum.com>
Subject: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08
Message-ID: <929a4222-4df3-09ad-5f62-411932f7e30f@nostrum.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2016 14:22:26 -0600
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; Intel Mac OS X 10.11; rv:45.0) Gecko/20100101 Thunderbird/45.5.0
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"; format="flowed"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ietf/pZPkTW_o7Ph7wLdmwSLkZlig3CY>
X-BeenThere: ietf@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: IETF-Discussion <ietf.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/ietf>, <mailto:ietf-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/ietf/>
List-Post: <mailto:ietf@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:ietf-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ietf>, <mailto:ietf-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2016 20:22:30 -0000
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Reviewer: Robert Sparks Review Date: 28 Nov 2016 IETF LC End Date: 02 Dec 2016 IESG Telechat date: 15 Dec 2016 Summary: Ready with nits Nits/editorial comments: First, forgive me, but I need to grumble a little bit: The way this document approaches standardization makes me very uncomfortable. The language is passive and relies on inference to the point that it risks being vague. If this review were earlier in the document's life-cycle, I would strongly suggest a complete restructure focusing on explicitly specifying what the implementation is supposed to do. But, the document has had several reviewers who didn't trip up on this point, and the working group believes it is implementable, so I'm going to set that aside and provide some concrete suggestions for removing some nits from the existing text. In document order: 1) In section 2.1 "This draft defines 6LoPAN as one of the possible protocols to negotiate". That's not what this draft appears to do. Rather, it defines behavior once this 6LoPAN over DECT ULE has been negotiated. Some other document is defining the negotiation. I suggest replacing the sentence with "[TS102.939-1] defines this negotiation and specifies an Application Protocol Identifier of 0x06 for 6LowPAN. This document defines the behavior of that Application Protocol". 2) The "not recommended" in the last sentence of 2.3 looks like it should be a 2119 keyword (NOT RECOMMENDED). Similarly, the "shall" in the last sentence of the first paragraph of 2.4 looks like it should be a SHALL (consider using MUST instead). 3) At the mention of LOWPAN_IPHC in the second paragraph of 2.4, consider referencing RFC6282. It's not clear what the sentence is really trying to convey, though. "all the requirements" is very vague - can you point to a specific requirement list somewhere? "It is expected" implies that you believe there's a chance that it might fail. Could the sentence be removed (you cover this in 3.2) or be replaced with a more direct statement? 4) In the first section of 3.1 you have "The PP MUST be pageable". Interestingly, the word "pageable" does not yet appear anywhere in the RFC series. Please add a reference into the ETSI docs that will lead the reader to a definition. 5) In the last paragraph of 3.2 (before 3.2.1), third sentence, you introduce using the multi-link subnet approach. Please either add a reference to RFC4903 here, or point forward to section 3.3. 6) In section 3.2.1, third paragraph, you say addresses are derived "similar to the guidance of [RFC4291]. I don't believe that is sufficient. Perhaps you should say "following the guidance in Appendix A of [RFC4291]"? 7) The last paragraph of 3.3 says "The FPs operation role in such scenario are rather like Backbone Routers (6BBR) than 6LBR, as per [I-D.ietf-6lo-backbone-router]." Is this trying to _specify_ the behavior of the FP in this scenario? If not, it's unclear what the sentence is trying to accomplish. If so, then the sentence should be "The FPs in such a scenario behave as Backbone Routers (6BBR) as defined in [I-D.ietf-6lo-backbone-router]." And that reference should be normative, rather than informative.
- Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Robert Sparks
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jari Arkko
- RE: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jens Toftgaard Petersen
- RE: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jens Toftgaard Petersen
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jari Arkko
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Robert Sparks
- RE: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jens Toftgaard Petersen
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Robert Sparks
- RE: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Jens Toftgaard Petersen
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Robert Sparks
- Re: Gen-art LC review: draft-ietf-6lo-dect-ule-08 Samita Chakrabarti