[Int-dir] Intdir telechat review of draft-ietf-ccamp-layer1-types-16

[Dirk Von Hugo via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Reviewer: Dirk Von Hugo
Review result: Ready with Nits

I have reviewed this document as part of the INT area directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  These
comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet area directors.
Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just like any other
last call comments.

The summary of the review is 'Ready with nits'.

General comment on the title 'A YANG Data Model for Layer 1 Types' is that the
draft addresses specifically Layer 1 optical networks - a fact which may be
referred to also in the title. As I am neither an expert in YANG nor in optical
networks I cannot comment on those technical issues but hope that has been
already discussed elsewhere. In addition to other reviews as the Gen-ART review
by Dale
(https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/review-ietf-ccamp-layer1-types-16-genart-lc-worley-2023-11-16/)
I found further minor nits to be corrected/clarified before publication:

p.1:
topology, tunnel, client signal adaptation and service => topology, tunnel,
client signal adaptation, and service

p.2:
data types, groupings and identities => data types, groupings, and identities
Optical Transport Networking, => Optical Transport Networking (OTN),

p.3:
groupings, typedef and identities, => groupings, typedef, and identities,
Layer 1 TE types (i.e. typedef, => Layer 1 TE types (i.e., typedef,
specified in ietf-te-types in [I-D.ietf-teas-rfc8776-update] => specified as
ietf-te-types in [I-D.ietf-teas-rfc8776-update]

p.4:
specified in ietf-layer1-types in this document. => specified as
ietf-layer1-types in this document.

p.7:
a label-end, a label-step and a range-bitmap. => a label-end, a label-step, and
a range-bitmap. TPN assignment rules depends => PN assignment rules depend OR
PN assignment rule depends [ITU-T_G.709], defines six types of ODUflex:
ODUflex(CBR), ODUflex(GFP), ODUflex(GFP,n,k), ODUflex(IMP), ODUflex(IMP,s) and
=> [ITU-T_G.709] defines six types of ODUflex: ODUflex(CBR), ODUflex(GFP),
ODUflex(GFP,n,k), ODUflex(IMP), ODUflex(IMP,s), and

p.9:
to defines the value of s=5 x n => to define the value of s=5 x n
is defined in section 12.2.6 => is defined in Section 12.2.6
Section 5.1 and 5.2 of [RFC7139] defines => Sections 5.1 and 5.2 of [RFC7139]
define an ODUflex LSPs => an ODUflex LSP OR ODUflex LSPs [if I didn't
misunderstand the sentence] the OTN LTPs [meaning of LTP neither defined here
nor in RFC 7062] the rules defined any other ODUflex type => the rules defined
for any other ODUflex type

p.10:
LSP does or does support => LSP does or does not support

p.45:
is reportd for => is reported for

Thanks for the work and best regards
Dirk