[IPsec] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ipsecme-mib-iptfs-09: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

[Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-ipsecme-mib-iptfs-09: Discuss

When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all
email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
introductory paragraph, however.)


Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ 
for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions.


The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ipsecme-mib-iptfs/



----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCUSS:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-ipsecme-mib-iptfs-

CC @larseggert

Thanks to Joel Halpern for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/5gau5fsdf6JutMgWnPRn9R_HVto).

## Discuss

### Section 4.2, paragraph 28
```
         l2FixedRate OBJECT-TYPE
             SYNTAX      CounterBasedGauge64
             MAX-ACCESS  read-only
             STATUS      current
             DESCRIPTION
               "TFS bit rate may be specified as a layer 2 wire rate.  On
               transmission, target bandwidth/bit rate in bps for iptfs
               tunnel.  This rate is the nominal timing for the fixed
               size packet. If congestion control is enabled the rate
               may be adjusted down (or up if unset)."
             ::= { iptfsConfigTableEntry 5 }

         l3FixedRate OBJECT-TYPE
             SYNTAX      CounterBasedGauge64
             MAX-ACCESS  read-only
             STATUS      current
             DESCRIPTION
               "TFS bit rate may be specified as a layer 3 packet rate.
               On Transmission, target bandwidth/bit rate in bps for
               iptfs tunnel.  This rate is the nominal timing for the
               fixed size packet. If congestion control is enabled the
               rate may be adjusted down (or up if unset)."
             ::= { iptfsConfigTableEntry 6 }
```
I'm not sure what the intended meaning of the two "or up if unset" statements
is. Even when congestion control is disabled (=unset), the given fixed rates
will not be exceeded?


----------------------------------------------------------------------
COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

## Comments

### Section 3, paragraph 3
```
     This document specifies an extensible operational model for IP-TFS.
     It reuses the management model defined in
     [I-D.ietf-ipsecme-yang-iptfs].  It allows SNMP systems to read
     operational objects (which includes configured objects) from IPTFS.
```
The document uses IPTFS, IP-TFS, tfs, iptfs, Iptfs - please pick one and use it
consistently.

### Boilerplate

This document uses the RFC2119 keywords "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED",
"MUST", "MUST NOT", "MAY", "OPTIONAL", "SHALL NOT", "SHOULD", "NOT
RECOMMENDED", "SHALL", "REQUIRED", and "SHOULD NOT", but does not contain the
recommended RFC8174 boilerplate. (It contains some text with a similar
beginning.)

## Nits

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

### Boilerplate

Document still refers to the "Simplified BSD License", which was corrected in
the TLP on September 21, 2021. It should instead refer to the "Revised BSD
License".

### URLs

These URLs point to tools.ietf.org, which has been taken out of service:

 * https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfcXXXX

## Notes

This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].

[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool