Re: [Last-Call] Secdir last call review of draft-ietf-pim-bfd-p2mp-use-case-07

Russ,
thank you for the review, comments, and suggestions. I've uploaded the
updated version -08.

Regards,
Greg

On Fri, Sep 24, 2021 at 11:44 AM Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> wrote:

> Thanks.  Your proposed changes resolve all of my comments.
>
> Russ
>
> On Sep 21, 2021, at 7:20 PM, Greg Mirsky <gregimirsky@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Hi Russ,
> thank you for your thorough review, thoughtful and helpful suggestions.
> Please find my notes in-lined below under the GIM>> tag. I've attached the
> new working version and the diff.
>
> Regards,
> Greg
>
> On Tue, Sep 21, 2021 at 9:17 AM Russ Housley via Datatracker <
> noreply@ietf.org> wrote:
>
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review result: Has Issues
>>
>> I reviewed this document as part of the Security Directorate's ongoing
>> effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  These
>> comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Security Area
>> Directors.  Document authors, document editors, and WG chairs should
>> treat these comments just like any other IETF Last Call comments.
>>
>> Document: draft-ietf-pim-bfd-p2mp-use-case-07
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review Date: 2021-09-21
>> IETF LC End Date: 2021-09-28
>> IESG Telechat date: Unknown
>>
>>
>> Summary: Has Issues
>>
>>
>> Major Concerns:  None
>>
>>
>> Minor Concerns:
>>
>> General: All of the field names in this document use camel case, except
>> one.  I think the document would be easier to read if My Discriminator
>> were to use the same convention.  Also, HeadDiscriminator would be
>> more descriptive.
>>
> GIM>> Thank you for pointing this out to me. I agree with the proposed
> update of the field name, The remaining in the text references to My
> Discriminator use the convention of RFC 5880. I hope that is acceptable.
>
>>
>> Section 2.1 says:
>>
>>    The head MUST include the BFD Discriminator option in its Hello
>>    messages.
>>
>> This MUST statement cold me much more complete:
>>
>>    The head MUST include the BFD Discriminator option in its Hello
>>    messages, and it MUST include a 4-byte My Discriminator with a
>>    value other than zero.
>>
> GIM>> Thank you, I agree with the proposed text with a minor modification
> based on re-naming of the field to HeadDiscriminator. Below is the update:
> OLD TEXT:
>    The head MUST include the BFD Discriminator option in its Hello
>    messages.
> NEW TEXT:
>     The head MUST include the BFD Discriminator option in its Hello
>    messages, and it MUST include a 4-byte HeadDiscriminator with a value
>    other than zero.
>
>
>> Section 2.3: s/must set/MUST set/
>>
> GIM>> Thank you. Done.
>
>>
>>
>> Nits:
>>
>> Section 1, para 1 could be more clear and more forceful.  I suggest:
>>
>>    Faster convergence in the control plane minimizes the periods of
>>    traffic blackholing, transient routing loops, and other situations
>>    that may negatively affect service data flow.  Faster convergence
>>    in the control plane is beneficial to unicast and multicast routing
>>    protocols.
>>
> GIM>> Thank you for the suggested text. Accepted.
>
>>
>> Section 1, para 2: s/DR is to act on behalf/DR acts on behalf/
>>
> GIM>> Thank you. Done.
>
>>
>> Section 1, para 3: The first sentence is very unclear.  I cannot offer
>> an improvement because it is too hard to parse.
>>
> GIM>> Would the following update make it clearer:
> OLD TEXT:
>    Bidirectional Forwarding Detection (BFD) [RFC5880] had been
>    originally defined to detect a failure of point-to-point (p2p) paths
>    - single-hop [RFC5881], multihop [RFC5883].
>  NEW TEXT:
>    Bidirectional Forwarding Detection (BFD) [RFC5880] had been
>    originally defined to detect a failure of a point-to-point (p2p)
>    path, single-hop [RFC5881] or multihop [RFC5883].
>
>
>> Section 1, para 3: s/networks precisely/networks, and it precisely/
>>
> GIM>> Thank you. Accepted.
>
>>
>> Section 1.1.1: s/familiarity/Familiarity/
>>
> GIM>> Done.
> <draft-ietf-pim-bfd-p2mp-use-case-08.txt><Diff_
> draft-ietf-pim-bfd-p2mp-use-case-07.txt -
> draft-ietf-pim-bfd-p2mp-use-case-08.txt.html>--
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