Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt

Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com> Sun, 19 February 2017 01:30 UTC

Return-Path: <glenn@cysols.com>
X-Original-To: mib-doctors@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: mib-doctors@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 27E301296AC; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:45 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.9
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.9 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, SPF_PASS=-0.001, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id fIaxoej_iOP9; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:40 -0800 (PST)
Received: from niseko.cysol.co.jp (niseko.cysol.co.jp [210.233.3.236]) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-CAMELLIA256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 6AF2E124281; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:40 -0800 (PST)
Received: from [192.168.0.94] (cysvpn07.priv.cysol.co.jp [192.168.0.94]) (authenticated bits=0) by aso.priv.cysol.co.jp (8.14.9/8.14.9) with ESMTP id v1J1UTsS043791 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES128-SHA bits=128 verify=NO); Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:30:30 +0900 (JST) (envelope-from glenn@cysols.com)
To: Hiroshi Tsunoda <tsuno@m.ieice.org>
References: <56E7D219.7000902@orange.com> <56FBD402.9040102@cisco.com> <56FBDD81.6080502@cysols.com> <11152_1459347064_56FBDE78_11152_10229_1_56FBDE77.6030605@orange.com> <56FBE17E.5090609@cisco.com> <570C9586.7030905@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB17151A695785D4D8DD485633D4690@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <b4249e61-0a11-2ce1-c846-67096858fa2c@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB1715A3B288A27A39E99203B8D4490@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <c757a323-24a7-2696-657e-88f8e15e8a36@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyFeX-S=sJwNMX-fgWThnMMiu_nF8xvcMow_BgJSfwsSQ@mail.gmail.com> <5e663cf0-1418-c410-bcf8-b235ee73fc29@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyN0yLkpOXWt8D2-Niw7BCoujF+8JLjrPwgWobF03hZ7g@mail.gmail.com>
From: Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>
Message-ID: <6f89f1f2-31e9-bf4a-05e9-1bb6e02f339e@cysols.com>
Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:30:24 +0900
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; WOW64; rv:45.0) Gecko/20100101 Thunderbird/45.7.1
MIME-Version: 1.0
In-Reply-To: <CAPbjwkyN0yLkpOXWt8D2-Niw7BCoujF+8JLjrPwgWobF03hZ7g@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"; format="flowed"; delsp="yes"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/mib-doctors/D2tFLDBC5sjOUA2dTkDZQ5sf6ZY>
Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>, "mib-doctors@ietf.org" <mib-doctors@ietf.org>, "Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang" <zzhang@juniper.net>, "EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com" <thomas.morin@orange.com>, Martin Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>, "bess@ietf.org" <bess@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt
X-BeenThere: mib-doctors@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: MIB Doctors list <mib-doctors.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/mib-doctors>, <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/mib-doctors/>
List-Post: <mailto:mib-doctors@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/mib-doctors>, <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2017 01:30:45 -0000

Dear Tsunoda,
 > I will submit the next version within three days.
 > The next versionbwill address all of remained your
 > comments.
Great! Looking forward to the revised draft.

Glenn
On 2017/02/18 16:30, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote:
> Dear Glenn,
>
> I am sorry I kept you waiting so long for the revised version, I have
> been side tracked by other things.
> I will submit the next version within three days. The next version
> will address all of remained your comments.
> The summary of remained TODOs is shown below.   Please wait a little more time.
> -------------
> 1. Add general explanation about MVPN, multicast in VPLS
>    Define and explain some technical terms, such as PIM-MVPN,
> UDP-based S-PMSI etc.
>
> 2. Revise summary of the MIB module
>
> 3. Revise MIB definition
>    a. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable
>    b. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType to
> cover all cases.
>    c. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId
>    d. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer
>
> 4. Split the MIB module into two separate modules.
>
> 5. Revise security considertations
> -------------
>
> P.S. Update of mvpn-mib-02 will be submitted by the end of this month.
>
> Best regards,
>
> -- tsuno
>
> 2016-12-03 21:19 GMT+09:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>:
>> Hi Tsunoda,
>>> I have started to volunteer to help to move this document forward.
>> Great!
>>> I posted a new revision and addressed all editorial things in
>>> that revision.
>>    Got this. Looks good.
>>> Please give me some more time for revising other parts,
>> No problems. Will be looking forward to the revised document.
>>
>> Glenn
>>
>>
>> On 2016/12/02 12:12, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote:
>>>
>>> Dear Glenn,
>>>
>>> Thanks for your careful review and detailed comments/suggestions.
>>> I have started to volunteer to help to move this document forward.
>>> I posted a new revision and addressed all editorial things in that
>>> revision.
>>> Please give me some more time for revising other parts,
>>> in order to be familiar with the context of the original and related
>>> documents.
>>>
>>> URL:
>>> https://www.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05.txt
>>> Status:
>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib/
>>> Htmlized:
>>> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05
>>> Diff:
>>>
>>> https://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05.txt
>>>
>>> Please see some notes below.
>>>
>>>> 0. Abstract.
>>>> 0.1.
>>>>>
>>>>>  it describes common managed objects used to configure
>>>>
>>>>    and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast.
>>>>
>>>> There are no writable MOs in this MIB. So it does not look
>>>> as though this MIB will be used for configuration directly.
>>>> The use case scenario for monitoring is not clear, either.
>>>> It appears that the MIB module(s) in this document will be
>>>> used by other modules which are designed for monitoring and/
>>>> or configuring L2 and L3 VPN Multicast. Please re-examine the
>>>> wording.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 1.  Introduction
>>>>
>>>> 1.1
>>>>    Would be very nice if a short explanations of MVPN and
>>>>    L2 VPN Multicast were given. With emphasis on the operational
>>>>    aspects.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise.
>>>
>>>> 1.2
>>>>    s/referred to MVPN and L2 VPN Multicast respectively/
>>>>      referred to as MVPN and L2 VPN Multicast,respectively/
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 1.3
>>>>    s/MVPN [RFC6513] [RFC6514]/MVPN [RFC6513],[RFC6514]/.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 1.4 .... there are 2 types of PMSIs ..
>>>>
>>>>>   o I-PMSI: Inclusive PMSI - to all PEs in the same VPN.
>>>>>   o S-PMSI: Selective PMSI - to some of the PEs in the same VPN.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>    please make these explanations more gentle(complete) to the reader.
>>>>    Also, give the references where these terms are defined.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise.
>>>
>>>> 3.  Summary of MIB Module
>>>> 3.1
>>>>>
>>>>>   Attributes (PTAs) advertised/received in I/S-PSMI Auto-Discovery
>>>>
>>>>     Typo: I/S-PMSI,  (see 3.3 below).
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 3.2 some more text like the following will be good.
>>>>     L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB contains
>>>>     o a Textual Convention L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType that provides
>>>>       an enumeration of the  provider tunnel types and,
>>>>     o a table l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable. The table index is
>>>>       composed of multiple attributes that depend on the tunnel type and
>>>>       uniquely identify a tunnel. This table will be used to ... monitor
>>>>       the tunnels supported by the system at a given point of time (?)
>>>>       It may also be used in conjunction with XXXX-mib to obtain the
>>>>       other details of a tunnel by following the row pointer of the
>>>>       corresponding tunnel's row in this table.
>>>>     [ Please treat the above as a template and modify the text as
>>>>       appropriate ..]
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point.
>>>
>>>> 3.3 Since this will become a standard document, please take care of
>>>>     definitions and notations used in the document.
>>>>     The notation I/S-PMSI is not defined. If you must use a new
>>>>     term/notation,  define it before use.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point.
>>>
>>>> 4.  Definitions
>>>>
>>>>>  IMPORTS
>>>>>    MODULE-IDENTITY, OBJECT-TYPE, experimental
>>>>
>>>> 4.1 Since this is not a Experimental MIB do not import use experimental.
>>>>     It is good practice to keep the draft in the as "close to final form"
>>>>     as possible. (See below)
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.2
>>>>>
>>>>>   LAST-UPDATED "201310141200Z"  -- October 14, 2013
>>>>
>>>>     Please update this date.
>>>
>>>
>>> Updated.
>>>
>>>> 4.3
>>>>>
>>>>>   DESCRIPTION
>>>>>    "This MIB contains common managed object definitions for
>>>>>     multicast in Layer 2 and Layer 3 VPNs, defined by
>>>>>     [RFC7117] and [RFC6513] [RFC6514] respectively.
>>>>
>>>>     Would be good if you could rearrange the text. Something like
>>>>      "This MIB module will be used for managing multicast in Layer 2
>>>>       VPNs [RFC7117] and Layer 3 VPNs [RFC6513], [RFC6514].
>>>>     Or, even better
>>>>      "This MIB module will be used by other MIB modules designed for
>>>>       managing multicast in Layer 2 VPNs [RFC7117] and Layer 3 VPNs
>>>>       [RFC6513], [RFC6514]
>>>>     Or, a combination of both, depending on the envisaged use case
>>>>     scenarios.
>>>
>>>
>>> Rearranged the text along with your comment.
>>>
>>>> 4.4
>>>>>
>>>>>    ::= { experimental 999 }
>>>>
>>>>     Please
>>>>       o Replace "experimental" by the branch where this mib module will
>>>>         be anchored; that is a decision that the WG will take, probably.
>>>>       o Import the branch in the IMPORTS statement
>>>>       [ In the IANA Considerations section a branch in the mib-2 subtree
>>>>         is requested. In that case this must be
>>>>          ::= { mib-2 XXX }
>>>>       ]
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.5
>>>>>
>>>>>   -- Please also remove the ", experimental" text from earlier
>>>>>   -- IMPORTS section.
>>>>
>>>>     Remove these instructions.
>>>
>>>
>>> Removed.
>>>
>>>> 4.5.2
>>>>>
>>>>>  -- Texual convention
>>>>
>>>>    Typo: -- Textual convention
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.6
>>>>>
>>>>> L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION
>>>>>   DESCRIPTION
>>>>>       "Types of provider tunnels used for multicast in
>>>>>        BGP/MPLS L2 or L3 VPN. Additional types may be defined
>>>>>        in future RFCs, and those will be allowed as
>>>>>        valid types for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType."
>>>>
>>>>     The part
>>>>>
>>>>>                               Additional types may be defined
>>>>>        in future RFCs, and those will be allowed as
>>>>>        valid types for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType."
>>>>
>>>>     may be deleted.
>>>
>>>
>>> Deleted.
>>>
>>>> 4.7
>>>>>
>>>>> -- Top level components of this MIB.
>>>>> -- tables, scalars, conformance information
>>>>>
>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastObjects     OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 1 }
>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastConformance OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 2 }
>>>>
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastStates  OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastObjects 1 }
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>  -- Table of PMSI Tunnel Attributes
>>>>>
>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> should be
>>>>
>>>>   -- Top level components of this MIB.
>>>>
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastObjects     OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 1 }
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastConformance OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 2 }
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastStates      OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastObjects 1 }
>>>>
>>>>   -- tables, scalars, conformance information
>>>>   -- Table of PMSI Tunnel Attributes
>>>>
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.8
>>>>>
>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>    SYNTAX        SEQUENCE OF L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry
>>>>>    MAX-ACCESS    not-accessible
>>>>>    STATUS        current
>>>>>    DESCRIPTION
>>>>>        "This table is for PMSI Tunnel Attributes (PTAs)
>>>>>         advertised/received in I/S-PSMI Auto-Discovery routes.
>>>>>         The entries may be referred to by I-PMSI or S-PMSI table
>>>>>         entries defined in other MIBs, e.g. mvpnMIB in
>>>>>         [I-D.ietf-bess-mvpn-mib]."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>   It would seem that each row in this table is an index for a PTA
>>>>   and may contain pointers to rows in tables of other MIB modules
>>>>   which may contain more details for the PTA. Is that correct?
>>>>   Please reword the DESCRIPTION acordingly.
>>>>   Also see comments in 4.15
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. I need some more time to understand the original context.
>>>
>>>> 4.9
>>>>>
>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>        "An entry in this table corresponds to a PTA
>>>>>         that is advertised/received on this router.
>>>>
>>>>   We are in the description of "l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry"
>>>>   so "entry in this table" does not fit in well.
>>>>   A rewording like
>>>>          "A conceptual row corresponding to a PTA
>>>>           that is advertised/received on this router.
>>>>           ....
>>>>   would be better.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.10
>>>>>
>>>>>         For BGP-based signaling (for I-PMSI via auto-discovery
>>>>>         procedure, or for S-PMSI via S-PMSI A-D routes),
>>>>>         they are just as signaled by BGP.
>>>>>         For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN,
>>>>>         they're derived from the S-PMSI Join Message.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>         Note that BGP-based signaling may be used for
>>>>>         PIM-MVPN as well."
>>>>
>>>>    Is the signaling mechanism important here? If it isn't then the
>>>>    above part of the description is redundant.
>>>
>>>
>>> Removed the above part.
>>>
>>>> 4.10-2
>>>>   PIM-MVPN appears for the first time.
>>>
>>>
>>> Defined the notation of PIM-MVPM as follows
>>>   Protocol Independent Multicast - MVPN (PIM-MVPN)
>>> However, I think that some descriptions may be required for this
>>> somewhere in this document. That is TBD.
>>>
>>>> 4.10-3
>>>>   the phrase UDP-based S-PMSI appears here for the first time.
>>>>   Somewhere earlier it should be made clear that UDP too may be used
>>>>   in signaling.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD.
>>>
>>>> 4.11
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>
>>>>>         "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, this is 0.
>>>>
>>>>      "this" is unclear.
>>>>      Something like "the value of this object is 0"  will be better.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>>>          More bits may be defined in the future and
>>>>>          they will be registered in IANA Registry xxxx."
>>>>
>>>>   This part is probably redundant.
>>>
>>>
>>> Removed.
>>>
>>>> 4.12
>>>>>
>>>>>   -- RFC Ed. replace xxxx with the actual registry name
>>>>>   -- that is being created via [I-D.ietf-bess-mvpn-mib]
>>>>>   -- and remove this note.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>   Look at the comments in 6.0
>>>
>>>
>>> The above description ("IANA Registry xxxx.") was removed,
>>> thus this part was also removed.
>>>
>>>> 4.13
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>
>>>>>    DESCRIPTION
>>>>>        "As defined for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType.
>>>>>         For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN,
>>>>>         this is pim-asm (3), pim-ssm (4), or pim-bidir (5).
>>>>>         For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel Type
>>>>>         field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding
>>>>>         I/S-PMSI A-D or Leaf A-D route."
>>>>
>>>>   o Does this description cover all the types? If not, then cover all the
>>>>     types unless there is a good reason to focus only on the above types.
>>>>   o I/S-PMSI: unexplained notation.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to address this point.
>>>
>>>> 4.14
>>>>
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>
>>>>>    SYNTAX        OCTET STRING ( SIZE (0|4|8|12|17|24|29) )
>>>>
>>>>   It appears that you also allow sizes "16" and "32"; these must be
>>>> included.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>>>            IPv4/IPv6     l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType
>>>>
>>>>   Please indicate that the first column gives the size
>>>
>>>
>>> I made a change as follows.
>>>
>>>                 Size        l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType
>>>            (IPv4/IPv6)
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>                        (snip)
>>>                  8/32       pimAsm
>>>                        (snip)
>>>
>>> Is this OK?
>>>
>>>>>               8/32       pimAsm
>>>>>               8/32       pimSsm
>>>>>               8/32       pimBidir
>>>>>               4/16       ingressReplication
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>         For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, the first
>>>>>         8 or 32 octets of this attribute are filled with
>>>>>         the provider tunnel (source, group) IPv4/IPv6 addresses.
>>>>>         For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel
>>>>>         Identifier field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the
>>>>>         corresponding I/S-PMSI A-D route."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>   A more generous description of the AttributeID would be good. All the
>>>>   cases must be covered. Section 5 of RFC 6514 does it nicely. A simple
>>>>   summary would be very nice.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point.
>>>
>>>> 4.15
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>
>>>>>    SYNTAX        RowPointer
>>>>>    DESCRIPTION
>>>>>        "If the tunnel exists in some MIB table, e.g. mplsTunnelTable
>>>>>         [RFC3812], this is the row pointer to it. Otherwise, the
>>>>>         pointer is null."
>>>>
>>>>   I am having problems understanding this. Will help if you can give
>>>>   a use case of how this will be used. As of now the intent is unclear.
>>>>   A RowPointer cannot be pointing to "some MIB table". It must be
>>>>   pointer to a specific row in a specific table. If this is a pointer to
>>>>   a row in the mplsTunnelTable spell it out clearly and unambiguously.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. I will need some more time to understand the original context.
>>>
>>>> 4.16
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>      DESCRIPTION
>>>>>
>>>>>        "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface, this is the
>>>>>         row pointer to ifXTable. Otherwise, the pointer is null."
>>>>
>>>>   This description is better.  Would be even better with
>>>>          "If the tunnel has a corresponding entry in the ifXTable,
>>>>           this object will point to the row pertaining to the entry .....
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 4.17
>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup    OBJECT-GROUP
>>>>>
>>>>>     DESCRIPTION
>>>>>         "Support of these object is not required."
>>>>
>>>>            Support of these objects is not required.
>>>
>>>
>>> Fixed.
>>>
>>>> 5.0
>>>>>
>>>>> 5.  Security Considerations
>>>>
>>>>    TBD
>>>
>>>
>>> Still TBD.
>>>
>>>> 6.0
>>>>>
>>>>> 6.  IANA Considerations
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>  IANA is requested to root MIB objects in the MIB module contained in
>>>>>  this document under the mib-2 subtree.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>    Please Note:
>>>>    To make the L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType TC maintainable you need to
>>>>    put the definitions in a separate MIB module. That would mean a
>>>>    separate  branch in the mib-2 subtree. Then the maintenance of the
>>>>    TC can be carried out by some entity ( IANA or, some WG or, whoever is
>>>>    responsible for maintaining the TC) independent of other MIB objects.
>>>>    If that is the intent you will need to define 2 mib modules and you
>>>> will
>>>>    need to request 2 branches in the mib-2 subtree- one for the module
>>>>    containing the L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType TC and another for the
>>>>    module containing the l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable.
>>>
>>>
>>> TBD. I will address this point in the next revision.
>>>
>>> 2016-06-07 18:39 GMT+09:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>:
>>>>
>>>> Hi Jeffrey,
>>>>    Thanks for the good work on draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib
>>>> document. It took me some time to do this review. But now here it
>>>> is. A (near complete) review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt
>>>> is
>>>> attached. Hope this helps.
>>>>    I understand that the Security Considerations section is TBD.
>>>>
>>>>    Glenn
>>>>
>>>> On 2016/05/19 4:48, Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi Glenn,
>>>>>
>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>> From: Glenn Mansfield Keeni [mailto:glenn@cysols.com]
>>>>>> Sent: Sunday, May 08, 2016 11:02 AM
>>>>>> To: Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang <zzhang@juniper.net>; Benoit Claise
>>>>>> <bclaise@cisco.com>; EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com
>>>>>> <thomas.morin@orange.com>
>>>>>> Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>; ops-ads@ietf.org; Martin
>>>>>> Vigoureux
>>>>>> <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>; bess@ietf.org; mib-doctors@ietf.org
>>>>>> Subject: Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of
>>>>>> draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-
>>>>>> 02.txt
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jeffrey,
>>>>>>  > Thanks for your comments. I've addressed most of your comments
>>>>>>  > in the new revision:
>>>>>> Thanks for your cooperation. I will need at least one more revision
>>>>>> with the following comments/recommendations addressed before I will
>>>>>> be able to complete the detailed review. In the following the numbers
>>>>>> refer to the issue numbers in the initial review. The issues that are
>>>>>> addressed and closed are not listed. For brevity, the issue
>>>>>> descriptions have been trimmed. In case of doubts please look at the
>>>>>> response mail appended below.
>>>>>> Hope this helps.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks for your detailed comments/suggestions. I posted a new revision
>>>>> with the following issues addressed.
>>>>>
>>>>> URL:
>>>>>
>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt
>>>>> Status:
>>>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib/
>>>>> Htmlized:
>>>>> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04
>>>>> Diff:
>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04
>>>>>
>>>>> Please see some notes below.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Glenn
>>>>>>
>>>>>> -------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Comments:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 1.1
>>>>>>  >  I had thought this would be standard/obvious for all MIB objects -
>>>>>> We will comeback to this time and again, whereever possible make
>>>>>> matters explicit and clear. That will help.
>>>>>>  >  Is it enough to say something similar? For example:
>>>>>>  >          In particular, it describes common managed objects used
>>>>>>  >          to configure and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast.
>>>>>> That is better.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I take it that this is already closed in -03 revision.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2.2
>>>>>>  >  Having said that, I'll explain PMSI a bit further.
>>>>>> PMSI explanation is good.
>>>>>> Please use the same style/format for I-PMSI and S-PMSI.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I think -03 revision already use the same style/format for I-PMSI and
>>>>> S-PMSI?
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2.3
>>>>>>  >  No difference. I was using "Layer 3" or "L3" but it was pointed out
>>>>>>  > that the layer 3 VPN is often referred to IP VPN in other RFCs and I
>>>>>>  > was advised to change it accordingly. Looks like I did not change
>>>>>> all
>>>>>>  > the cases.
>>>>>>  >  On the other hand, I noticed that RFC 4382 does use "Layer 3 VPN"
>>>>>> so
>>>>>>  > I'll change it back.
>>>>>> No problems. just make sure that the same expression/notation is used
>>>>>> uniformly.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I take it that this is also addressed in -03 already.
>>>>>
>>>>>> 3.
>>>>>>  >  > > 3.  Summary of MIB Module.
>>>>>>  >  > >     An overview of the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB will be good- the
>>>>>>  >  > >     structure of the MIB, short descriptions of the table(s)
>>>>>>  >  > >     including usage of the table(s) for management and/or by
>>>>>>  >  > >     other MIB(s).
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  I had that, but have added one sentence about the only table.
>>>>>> A sentence or two about the textual convention will be good.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Added in -04.
>>>>>
>>>>>>  >  > > 4. MIB syntax checking:
>>>>>>  >  > >    smilint -s -e -l 5 mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB
>>>>>> 2>L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.txt
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  I used simpleweb's validation tool but looks like I did not use the
>>>>>>  > strictest level of validation. I've now fixed the following issues
>>>>>> and
>>>>>>  > verified.
>>>>>> Good.
>>>>>> 5.
>>>>>>  >  > >
>>>>>>  >  > > 5. REFERENCE clauses: Please use REFERENCE clauses liberally.
>>>>>>  >  > >    Wherever possible, provide references for objects used in
>>>>>>  >  > >    the MIB. The references will point to specific sections/
>>>>>>  >  > >    sub-sections of the RFCs defining the protocol for which the
>>>>>>  >  > >    MIB is being designed. It will greatly improve the
>>>>>> readability
>>>>>>  >  > >    of the document.
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  Added.
>>>>>> I would recommend using the REFERENCE clause as in rfs4382 and
>>>>>> improve on it.
>>>>>> Specifically, instead of keeping the reference in the DESCRIPTION
>>>>>> clause move it to a separate REFERENCE clause. The addition of the
>>>>>> section number is an improvement. It is friendlier to the reader.
>>>>>> Note. Same comment for other OBJECTs too.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Oh I missed that. All fixed.
>>>>>
>>>>>> 7.1
>>>>>>  >  > > 7.1 CONTACT-INFO
>>>>>>  >  > >     Following the conventions (including indentation style)
>>>>>> will
>>>>>>  >  > >     improve the readability. (e.g. RFC4382, RFC5132).
>>>>>>  >  > >     Will be good if it does not overflow into the next page.
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  Fixed.
>>>>>> The format is OK. The Postal address etc., need not have been
>>>>>> deleted. Please put the complete contact information as in the
>>>>>> Author's Address. (RFC 2578 section 5.7 gives a usage example).
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Fixed.
>>>>>
>>>>>> 7.3
>>>>>>  >  I kept "experimental 99" so that I could continue to use mib tools
>>>>>>  > to validate; but I added notes for the editor to replace them as you
>>>>>>  > indicated.
>>>>>> Use of "experimental 99" is not recommended.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Do you mean 99 is not a good number? What about 9999? As I explained, I
>>>>> kept it so that we can use mib tools to validate, and I've added
>>>>> detailed
>>>>> notes for the editor.
>>>>>
>>>>>> 8
>>>>>>  >  > > 8. Specific MO and TC related comments.
>>>>>>  >  Are spaces allowed? I don't know so I used hyphen. For now I
>>>>>> replace
>>>>>>  > with things like rsvpP2mp.
>>>>>> Yes. Camelcase is an allowed practice. SMI does not mind it.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Ok this is closed already then.
>>>>>
>>>>>> 8.2
>>>>>>  >  > > 8.2   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>  >  The intent is to simply return the octet value of the flags
>>>>>>  > field, w/o listing individual bits like "Leaf Information Required".
>>>>>>  > More bits could be defined in the future but the MIB would not
>>>>>> change.
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  Is that OK?
>>>>>> As far as possible, the meaning of the objects must be made clear.
>>>>>> That will help implementors and operators- users of the MIB.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I added the definition for one existing bit and reference to the IANA
>>>>> registry being created for this flag field.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 8.3
>>>>>>  >  > > 8.3   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>  >  Depending on the tunnel type, there could be different sizes.
>>>>>>  > Future tunnel types could have other sizes that not specified
>>>>>>  > today. I was thinking to just give a size
>>>>>>  > tPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE range so that it is flexible.
>>>>>>  > Is that ok?
>>>>>> I see that you have changed the size upper limit to 50.
>>>>>> If the size varies continuously from 0 to 50 the above description
>>>>>> is correct.
>>>>>> Please confirm, explain and cite appropriate reference. If the size
>>>>>> may change in the future that must be stated too.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I changed to discrete sizes for currently defined tunnel types.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 8.4
>>>>>>  >  > > 8.4  l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>  >  > >         SYNTAX        RowPointer
>>>>>>  >  > >         MAX-ACCESS    read-only
>>>>>>  >  > >         STATUS        current
>>>>>>  >  > >         DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>  >  > >             "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface,
>>>>>>  >  > >              this is the row pointer to the ifName table."
>>>>>>  >  > >      o DESCRIPTION looks incorrect. Please fix it. Do you
>>>>>>  >  > >        want to say this object points to the corresponding
>>>>>>  >  > >        row in the ifTable?
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  Yes. Fixed.
>>>>>> Not quite.
>>>>>>     What is ifName table ? ifName is a columnar object in the ifXTable.
>>>>>>     Is l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf a pointer to the corresponding row in
>>>>>> the
>>>>>>     ifXTable table ? Please fix accordingly.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> You're right. Fixed.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 9.
>>>>>>  >  > > 9. The Security Considerations section does not follow
>>>>>>  >  > >    the Security Guidelines for IETF MIB Modules
>>>>>>  >  > >    http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/ops/trac/wiki/mib-security.
>>>>>>  >  > >    Please fix.
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  I was really hoping that it would not have to be that
>>>>>>  > tedious. SNMP/MIB secur
>>>>>> ity should be no different from the
>>>>>>  > CLI security - once you secure the infrastructure
>>>>>>  > then what's more to do?
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  I'll need more time to work on this. Let me try to address
>>>>>>  > the issues in the other mib first and come back to this.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Please take your time. Looking at examples will help. And let me
>>>>>> know where I can help.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I will need to work on that later.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 10.1
>>>>>>  >  > > 10.1 Checking nits according to
>>>>>>  >  > > http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist :
>>>>>>  >  Should I break them into different lines or just keep them
>>>>>>  >  as is? Any example of expected indentation if I break the
>>>>>>  >  lines?
>>>>>> No problems at all to  break lines.
>>>>>>       l2L3VpnMcastGroups      OBJECT IDENTIFIER
>>>>>>                               ::= {l2L3VpnMcastConformance 1}
>>>>>> Should do.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Done.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 10.2
>>>>>>  >  > > 10.2 Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard
>>>>>>  >  > >      == Missing Reference: 'RFC 7117' is mentioned on line 76,
>>>>>>  >  > >          but not defined
>>>>>>  >  > >         'described in [RFC6513, RFC6514, RFC 7117] and other
>>>>>>  >  I hope I understood and fixed it (removing the space in "RFC
>>>>>> 7117").
>>>>>> I would recommend that you put it as [RFC6513], [RFC6514], [RFC7117]
>>>>>> That is simpler to parse.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I see some other documents do not have comma between multiple references
>>>>> so I followed that.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>  >  > > 11.  There is another WIP MVPN-MIB in
>>>>>>  >  > >      draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-02.txt
>>>>>>  >  > >      MVPN-MIB has objects that refer to L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.
>>>>>>  >  > >      Is there a good reason for not merging the 2 documents?
>>>>>>  >  > >      I have not seen any discussion or explanation on this.
>>>>>>  >  > >      I may have missed it.
>>>>>>  >  > >      Please clarify or, give some pointers.
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >  As mentioned in the introduction:
>>>>>>  >
>>>>>>  >     this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS
>>>>>>  >     Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514].
>>>>>>  >     MVPN-MIB is for MVPN. There was another VPLS Multicast MIB
>>>>>>  >     in the work and both would reference common
>>>>>>
>>>>>>  >     objects defined in this MIB.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> OK. So you are saying that this MIB contains core objects that
>>>>>> will be used to manage implementations of various multicast VPN
>>>>>> protocols e.g. [RFC7117], [RFC6513],[RFC6514] ? It will help if
>>>>>> you spell it out at the beginning.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes. I thought I did it already:
>>>>>
>>>>> 1.  Introduction
>>>>>
>>>>>    ... and this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS
>>>>>    Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514].
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks!
>>>>> Jeffrey
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>> On 2016/04/16 21:47, Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Glenn,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Thanks for your comments. I've addressed most of your comments in the
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> new revision:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> URL:            https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-03.txt
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Status:         https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> vpn-mcast-mib/
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Htmlized:       https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> mcast-mib-03
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Diff:
>>>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> vpn-mcast-mib-03
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Please see below.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 1.  Abstract:
>>>>>>>> 1.1 A sentence on how the managed objects will be used by
>>>>>>>>     applications for operations, monitoring and management
>>>>>>>>     would be good.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I had thought this would be standard/obvious for all MIB objects - the
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> read-write ones are used to control how a device works, and the
>>>>>> read-only
>>>>>> ones are used for monitoring. Do I really need to say it explicitly?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I see RFC 4382 has the following:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>    This memo defines a portion of the Management Information Base
>>>>>>> (MIB)
>>>>>>>    for use with network management protocols in the Internet
>>>>>>> community.
>>>>>>>    In particular, it describes managed objects to configure and/or
>>>>>>>    monitor Multiprotocol Label Switching Layer-3 Virtual Private
>>>>>>>    Networks on a Multiprotocol Label Switching (MPLS) Label Switching
>>>>>>>    Router (LSR) supporting this feature.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Is it enough to say something similar? For example:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>         In particular, it describes common managed objects used to
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> configure
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>         and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 2.  Introduction
>>>>>>>> 2.1 Please give the full expansion of the abbreviations
>>>>>>>>     appearing for the first time.  (PE, VPLS,..)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Fixed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 2.2 The terminology section is a bit terse. Explaining the
>>>>>>>>     terms that are used, nicely with reference to the protocol
>>>>>>>>     documents will improve readability.
>>>>>>>>     e.g.
>>>>>>>>      - PMSI, I-PMSI, S-PMSI, provider tunnels
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> As the paragraph alluded to, this MIB needs to be understood in the
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> general context of L2/L3 multicast VPN and providing good explanation
>>>>>> of
>>>>>> the terms is not attempted. The references for the terms are the the
>>>>>> RFCs
>>>>>> for the relevant technologies.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Having said that, I'll explain PMSI a bit further.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 2.3 Is there a difference between
>>>>>>>>        "multicast in Layer 2 and Layer 3 VPNs , defined by
>>>>>>>>         RFC 7117 and RFC 6513/6514"
>>>>>>>>     used in the DESCRIPTION in the MODULE-IDENTITY
>>>>>>>>     and
>>>>>>>>        "multicast in BGP/MPLS L2 or IP VPN"
>>>>>>>>     used in the DESCRIPTION of L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ?
>>>>>>>>     If these are the same, it will be helpful to stick to the
>>>>>>>>     same expression. If these are not the same, the dictinction
>>>>>>>>     should be clarified.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> No difference. I was using "Layer 3" or "L3" but it was pointed out
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> the layer 3 VPN is often referred to IP VPN in other RFCs and I was
>>>>>> advised to change it accordingly. Looks like I did not change all the
>>>>>> cases.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On the other hand, I noticed that RFC 4382 does use "Layer 3 VPN" so
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I'll change it back.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 3.  Summary of MIB Module.
>>>>>>>>     An overview of the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB will be good- the
>>>>>>>>     structure of the MIB, short descriptions of the table(s)
>>>>>>>>     including usage of the table(s) for management and/or by
>>>>>>>>     other MIB(s).
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I had that, but have added one sentence about the only table.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> MIB definitions:
>>>>>>>> 4. MIB syntax checking:
>>>>>>>>    smilint -s -e -l 5 mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB
>>>>>>>> 2>L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.txt
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I used simpleweb's validation tool but looks like I did not use the
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> strictest level of validation. I've now fixed the following issues and
>>>>>> verified.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:63: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `rsvp-p2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:64: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `ldp-p2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:65: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `pim-asm' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:66: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `pim-ssm' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:67: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `pim-bidir' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:68: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `ingress-replication' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:69: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> number `ldp-mp2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> See later question/comments below.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:215: [5] {group-unref} warning: current
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> group `l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup' is not referenced in this module
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:4: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `NOTIFICATION-TYPE' imported from module `SNMPv2-SMI' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:5: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `Unsigned32' imported from module `SNMPv2-SMI' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:8: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `NOTIFICATION-GROUP' imported from module `SNMPv2-CONF' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:11: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `TruthValue' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:11: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `RowStatus' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:12: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `TimeStamp' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:12: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `TimeInterval' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:15: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `SnmpAdminString' imported from module `SNMP-FRAMEWORK-MIB' is never
>>>>>> used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:18: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `InetAddress' imported from module `INET-ADDRESS-MIB' is never used
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>    mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:18: [5] {import-unused} warning:
>>>>>>>> identifier
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> `InetAddressType' imported from module `INET-ADDRESS-MIB' is never used
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Removed the above unused imports.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 5. REFERENCE clauses: Please use REFERENCE clauses liberally.
>>>>>>>>    Wherever possible, provide references for objects used in
>>>>>>>>    the MIB. The references will point to specific sections/
>>>>>>>>    sub-sections of the RFCs defining the protocol for which the
>>>>>>>>    MIB is being designed. It will greatly improve the readability
>>>>>>>>    of the document.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Added.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 6. IMPORTS clause
>>>>>>>>    MIB modules from which items are imported must be cited and
>>>>>>>>    included in the normative references.
>>>>>>>>    The conventional style is
>>>>>>>>      mplsStdMIB
>>>>>>>>         FROM MPLS-TC-STD-MIB                           -- [RFC3811]
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Added.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 7. Please update the MODULE-IDENTITY. (There are no syntantic
>>>>>>>> errors.)
>>>>>>>> 7.1 CONTACT-INFO
>>>>>>>>     Following the conventions (including indentation style) will
>>>>>>>>     improve the readability. (e.g. RFC4382, RFC5132).
>>>>>>>>     Will be good if it does not overflow into the next page.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Fixed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 7.2 REVISION clause: follow the convention recommended in RFC4181
>>>>>>>>     sec 4.5
>>>>>>>>           REVISION    "200212132358Z"  -- December 13, 2002
>>>>>>>>           DESCRIPTION "Initial version, published as RFC yyyy."
>>>>>>>>    -- RFC Ed.: replace yyyy with actual RFC number & remove this
>>>>>>>> note:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Fixed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 7.3 OID assignment: follow the convention recommended in RFC4181
>>>>>>>>     sec 4.5 i
>>>>>>>>     replace
>>>>>>>>           ::= { experimental 99 } -- number to be assigned
>>>>>>>>     by
>>>>>>>>           ::= { <subtree> XXX }
>>>>>>>>    -- RFC Ed.: replace XXX with IANA-assigned number & remove this
>>>>>>>> note
>>>>>>>>    <subtree> will be the subtree under which the module will be
>>>>>>>>    registered.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I kept "experimental 99" so that I could continue to use mib tools to
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> validate; but I added notes for the editor to replace them as you
>>>>>> indicated.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8. Specific MO and TC related comments.
>>>>>>>>       L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION
>>>>>>>>         STATUS       current
>>>>>>>>         DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>             "Types of provider tunnels used for multicast in
>>>>>>>>              BGP/MPLS L2 or IP VPN."
>>>>>>>>         SYNTAX       INTEGER { unconfigured (0),
>>>>>>>>                                rsvp-p2mp (1),
>>>>>>>>                                ldp-p2mp (2),
>>>>>>>>                                pim-asm (3),
>>>>>>>>                                pim-ssm (4),
>>>>>>>>                                pim-bidir (5),
>>>>>>>>                                ingress-replication (6),
>>>>>>>>                                ldp-mp2mp (7)
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>     o Would be nice to align the enumeration labels with the
>>>>>>>>       labels in the protocol document RFC 6514 unless there is
>>>>>>>>       a good reason for not doing so. (You will have to take
>>>>>>>>       care of the smi compilation errors too; '-' is not allowed ).
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Are spaces allowed? I don't know so I used hyphen. For now I replace
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> with things like rsvpP2mp.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Or could/should I just remove the definitions, so that if a new type
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> defined in the future there is no need to update the MIB?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8.1  l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>>>          SYNTAX        L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry
>>>>>>>>          MAX-ACCESS    not-accessible
>>>>>>>>          STATUS        current
>>>>>>>>          DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>              "An entry in this table corresponds to an PMSI attribute
>>>>>>>>               that is advertised/received on this router.
>>>>>>>>               For BGP-based signaling (for I-PMSI via auto-discovery
>>>>>>>>               procedure, or for S-PMSI via S-PMSI A-D routes),
>>>>>>>>               they are just as signaled by BGP (RFC 6514 section 5,
>>>>>>>>               'PMSI Tunnel attribute').
>>>>>>>>               For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN,
>>>>>>>>               they're derived from S-PMSI Join Message
>>>>>>>>               (RFC 6513 section 7.4.2, 'UDP-based Protocol')..
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>               Note that BGP-based signaling may be used for
>>>>>>>>               PIM-MVPN as well."
>>>>>>>>     o Fix the ".." in "'UDP-based Protocol').." above.
>>>>>>>>     o Please give the reference for this Table.
>>>>>>>>       Is it-  "PMSI Tunnel attribute" in RFC 6513 Sec.4  ?
>>>>>>>>               "PMSI Tunnel attribute" in RFC 6514 Sec.5  ?
>>>>>>>>                both?
>>>>>>>>       Any other pointers?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Fixed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8.2   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>>>          SYNTAX        OCTET STRING (SIZE (1))
>>>>>>>>          MAX-ACCESS    not-accessible
>>>>>>>>          STATUS        current
>>>>>>>>          DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>              "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, this is 0.
>>>>>>>>               For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Flags
>>>>>>>>               field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding
>>>>>>>>               I/S-PMSI A-D route."
>>>>>>>>          ::= { l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry 1 }
>>>>>>>>     o  Please confirm that the above is a complete enumeration of the
>>>>>>>>        types of signalling.
>>>>>>>>     o  RFC 6514 Sec.5 says that the Flags field indicates
>>>>>>>>        "Leaf Information Required". That is useful information.
>>>>>>>>        Please include in the description.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The intent is to simply return the octet value of the flags field, w/o
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> listing individual bits like "Leaf Information Required". More bits
>>>>>> could
>>>>>> be defined in the future but the MIB would not change.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Is that OK?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8.3   l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>>>          SYNTAX        OCTET STRING ( SIZE (0..37) )
>>>>>>>>          MAX-ACCESS    not-accessible
>>>>>>>>          STATUS        current
>>>>>>>>          DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>              "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, the first
>>>>>>>>               four or sixteen octets of this attribute are filled
>>>>>>>> with
>>>>>>>>               the provider tunnel group address (IPv4 or IPv6)..
>>>>>>>>               For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Identifier
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>               Field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding
>>>>>>>> I/S-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> PMSI
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>               A-D route."
>>>>>>>>     o Check the size specifications. The specs above say it can be
>>>>>>>>       all sizes 0..37. That is not clear from the DESCRIPTION clause.
>>>>>>>>     o Fix the ".." in "(IPv4 or IPv6).." above.
>>>>>>>>     o RFC 6514 Sec 5.  PMSI Tunnel Attribute gives the Tunnel
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Identifiers
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>       for mLDP, PIM-SM, PIM-SSM, BIDIR-PIM,Ingress Replication,MP2MP.
>>>>>>>>       It appears that the sizes (range) for each case will be
>>>>>>>> different.
>>>>>>>>       Please clarify that, and if there are discrete sizes, specify
>>>>>>>>       accordingly.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Depending on the tunnel type, there could be different sizes. Future
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> tunnel types could have other sizes that not specified today. I was
>>>>>> thinking to just give a size range so that it is flexible. Is that ok?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8.3  l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>>>         SYNTAX        RowPointer
>>>>>>>>         MAX-ACCESS    read-only
>>>>>>>>         STATUS        current
>>>>>>>>         DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>             "If the tunnel exists in some MIB table, this is the
>>>>>>>>              row pointer to it."
>>>>>>>>     o "some MIB table" : specify which MIB table.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I can give an example, like mplsTunnelTable [RFC 3812]. It could be
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> whatever table that a tunnel may be put into.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>     o In what case will the tunnel exist and in what case will it
>>>>>>>> not?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If a device supports mplsTunnelTable and the tunnel is represented
>>>>>>> there,
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> then it exists.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>     o What will be the behaviour if the above condition is not
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> satisfied?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> A null pointer should be given.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 8.4  l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE
>>>>>>>>         SYNTAX        RowPointer
>>>>>>>>         MAX-ACCESS    read-only
>>>>>>>>         STATUS        current
>>>>>>>>         DESCRIPTION
>>>>>>>>             "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface, this is the
>>>>>>>>              row pointer to the ifName table."
>>>>>>>>      o DESCRIPTION looks incorrect. Please fix it. Do you want to say
>>>>>>>>        this object points to the corresponding row in the ifTable?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Yes. Fixed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      o In what case does the TunnelIf exist and in what case will it
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> not?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Some tunnels may not have a corresponding interface.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      o What will be expected if the tunnel does not have a
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> corresponding
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>        interface?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Null row pointer.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 9. The Security Considerations section does not follow the Security
>>>>>>>>    Guidelines for IETF MIB Modules
>>>>>>>>    http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/ops/trac/wiki/mib-security.
>>>>>>>>    Please fix.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I was really hoping that it would not have to be that tedious.
>>>>>>> SNMP/MIB
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> security should be no different from the CLI security - once you secure
>>>>>> the infrastructure then what's more to do?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I'll need more time to work on this. Let me try to address the issues
>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> the other mib first and come back to this.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 10.ID-nits
>>>>>>>> 10.1 Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist
>>>>>>>> :
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ---------
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      ** There are 4 instances of too long lines in the document, the
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> longest one
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>         being 3 characters in excess of 72.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I fixed some but there still three too long lines:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>      l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType
>>>>>>> L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastGroups      OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::=
>>>>>>> {l2L3VpnMcastConformance
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 1}
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>   l2L3VpnMcastCompliances OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::=
>>>>>>> {l2L3VpnMcastConformance
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 2}
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Should I break them into different lines or just keep them as is? Any
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> example of expected indentation if I break the lines?
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 10.2 Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> ---------
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      == Missing Reference: 'RFC 7117' is mentioned on line 76, but
>>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>>>         defined
>>>>>>>>         'described in [RFC6513, RFC6514, RFC 7117] and other
>>>>>>>> documents
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> tha...'
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I hope I understood and fixed it (removing the space in "RFC 7117").
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> 11.  There is another WIP MVPN-MIB in draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-02.txt
>>>>>>>>      MVPN-MIB has objects that refer to L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.
>>>>>>>>      Is there a good reason for not merging the 2 documents? I have
>>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> seen
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      any discussion or explanation on this. I may have missed it.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Please
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>      clarify or, give some pointers.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> As mentioned in the introduction:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>    this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS
>>>>>>>    Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514].
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> MVPN-MIB is for MVPN. There was another VPLS Multicast MIB in the work
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> and both would reference common objects defined in this MIB.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Thanks!
>>>>>>> Jeffrey
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>> From: BESS [mailto:bess-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Glenn
>>>>>>>> Mansfield
>>>>>>>> Keeni
>>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2016 2:28 AM
>>>>>>>> To: Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com>; EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com
>>>>>>>> <thomas.morin@orange.com>
>>>>>>>> Cc: Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang <zzhang@juniper.net>; ops-ads@ietf.org;
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Martin
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>; bess@ietf.org; Mach Chen
>>>>>>>> <mach.chen@huawei.com>
>>>>>>>> Subject: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> 02.txt
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>>>> I have been asked to do a MIB Doctors review of
>>>>>>>> draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-02.txt.
>>>>>>>> My knowledge of L2L3VPN Multicast is limited to the reading
>>>>>>>> of this document and browsing through the documents referred
>>>>>>>> to in the draft and bess-wg mailing list archives.( read "shallow").
>>>>>>>> So some of the doubts and questions may sound trivial or
>>>>>>>> strange. Please bear with me and help me help you make
>>>>>>>> this into a better document :-)
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> The comments are attached.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Glenn
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> BESS mailing list
>>>>>>> BESS@ietf.org
>>>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess
>>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> BESS mailing list
>>>> BESS@ietf.org
>>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess
>>>>
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> BESS mailing list
> BESS@ietf.org
> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess
>