Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt
Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com> Sun, 19 February 2017 01:30 UTC
Return-Path: <glenn@cysols.com>
X-Original-To: mib-doctors@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: mib-doctors@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 27E301296AC; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:45 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.9
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.9 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, SPF_PASS=-0.001, URIBL_BLOCKED=0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id fIaxoej_iOP9; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:40 -0800 (PST)
Received: from niseko.cysol.co.jp (niseko.cysol.co.jp [210.233.3.236]) (using TLSv1 with cipher DHE-RSA-CAMELLIA256-SHA (256/256 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 6AF2E124281; Sat, 18 Feb 2017 17:30:40 -0800 (PST)
Received: from [192.168.0.94] (cysvpn07.priv.cysol.co.jp [192.168.0.94]) (authenticated bits=0) by aso.priv.cysol.co.jp (8.14.9/8.14.9) with ESMTP id v1J1UTsS043791 (version=TLSv1/SSLv3 cipher=DHE-RSA-AES128-SHA bits=128 verify=NO); Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:30:30 +0900 (JST) (envelope-from glenn@cysols.com)
To: Hiroshi Tsunoda <tsuno@m.ieice.org>
References: <56E7D219.7000902@orange.com> <56FBD402.9040102@cisco.com> <56FBDD81.6080502@cysols.com> <11152_1459347064_56FBDE78_11152_10229_1_56FBDE77.6030605@orange.com> <56FBE17E.5090609@cisco.com> <570C9586.7030905@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB17151A695785D4D8DD485633D4690@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <b4249e61-0a11-2ce1-c846-67096858fa2c@cysols.com> <BLUPR0501MB1715A3B288A27A39E99203B8D4490@BLUPR0501MB1715.namprd05.prod.outlook.com> <c757a323-24a7-2696-657e-88f8e15e8a36@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyFeX-S=sJwNMX-fgWThnMMiu_nF8xvcMow_BgJSfwsSQ@mail.gmail.com> <5e663cf0-1418-c410-bcf8-b235ee73fc29@cysols.com> <CAPbjwkyN0yLkpOXWt8D2-Niw7BCoujF+8JLjrPwgWobF03hZ7g@mail.gmail.com>
From: Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>
Message-ID: <6f89f1f2-31e9-bf4a-05e9-1bb6e02f339e@cysols.com>
Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2017 10:30:24 +0900
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 10.0; WOW64; rv:45.0) Gecko/20100101 Thunderbird/45.7.1
MIME-Version: 1.0
In-Reply-To: <CAPbjwkyN0yLkpOXWt8D2-Niw7BCoujF+8JLjrPwgWobF03hZ7g@mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-2022-jp"; format="flowed"; delsp="yes"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/mib-doctors/D2tFLDBC5sjOUA2dTkDZQ5sf6ZY>
Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>, "mib-doctors@ietf.org" <mib-doctors@ietf.org>, "Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang" <zzhang@juniper.net>, "EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com" <thomas.morin@orange.com>, Martin Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>, "bess@ietf.org" <bess@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt
X-BeenThere: mib-doctors@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: MIB Doctors list <mib-doctors.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/mib-doctors>, <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/mib-doctors/>
List-Post: <mailto:mib-doctors@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/mib-doctors>, <mailto:mib-doctors-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sun, 19 Feb 2017 01:30:45 -0000
Dear Tsunoda, > I will submit the next version within three days. > The next versionbwill address all of remained your > comments. Great! Looking forward to the revised draft. Glenn On 2017/02/18 16:30, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote: > Dear Glenn, > > I am sorry I kept you waiting so long for the revised version, I have > been side tracked by other things. > I will submit the next version within three days. The next version > will address all of remained your comments. > The summary of remained TODOs is shown below. Please wait a little more time. > ------------- > 1. Add general explanation about MVPN, multicast in VPLS > Define and explain some technical terms, such as PIM-MVPN, > UDP-based S-PMSI etc. > > 2. Revise summary of the MIB module > > 3. Revise MIB definition > a. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable > b. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType to > cover all cases. > c. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId > d. Fix the description of l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer > > 4. Split the MIB module into two separate modules. > > 5. Revise security considertations > ------------- > > P.S. Update of mvpn-mib-02 will be submitted by the end of this month. > > Best regards, > > -- tsuno > > 2016-12-03 21:19 GMT+09:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>: >> Hi Tsunoda, >>> I have started to volunteer to help to move this document forward. >> Great! >>> I posted a new revision and addressed all editorial things in >>> that revision. >> Got this. Looks good. >>> Please give me some more time for revising other parts, >> No problems. Will be looking forward to the revised document. >> >> Glenn >> >> >> On 2016/12/02 12:12, Hiroshi Tsunoda wrote: >>> >>> Dear Glenn, >>> >>> Thanks for your careful review and detailed comments/suggestions. >>> I have started to volunteer to help to move this document forward. >>> I posted a new revision and addressed all editorial things in that >>> revision. >>> Please give me some more time for revising other parts, >>> in order to be familiar with the context of the original and related >>> documents. >>> >>> URL: >>> https://www.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05.txt >>> Status: >>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib/ >>> Htmlized: >>> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05 >>> Diff: >>> >>> https://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-05.txt >>> >>> Please see some notes below. >>> >>>> 0. Abstract. >>>> 0.1. >>>>> >>>>> it describes common managed objects used to configure >>>> >>>> and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast. >>>> >>>> There are no writable MOs in this MIB. So it does not look >>>> as though this MIB will be used for configuration directly. >>>> The use case scenario for monitoring is not clear, either. >>>> It appears that the MIB module(s) in this document will be >>>> used by other modules which are designed for monitoring and/ >>>> or configuring L2 and L3 VPN Multicast. Please re-examine the >>>> wording. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 1. Introduction >>>> >>>> 1.1 >>>> Would be very nice if a short explanations of MVPN and >>>> L2 VPN Multicast were given. With emphasis on the operational >>>> aspects. >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise. >>> >>>> 1.2 >>>> s/referred to MVPN and L2 VPN Multicast respectively/ >>>> referred to as MVPN and L2 VPN Multicast,respectively/ >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 1.3 >>>> s/MVPN [RFC6513] [RFC6514]/MVPN [RFC6513],[RFC6514]/. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 1.4 .... there are 2 types of PMSIs .. >>>> >>>>> o I-PMSI: Inclusive PMSI - to all PEs in the same VPN. >>>>> o S-PMSI: Selective PMSI - to some of the PEs in the same VPN. >>>> >>>> >>>> please make these explanations more gentle(complete) to the reader. >>>> Also, give the references where these terms are defined. >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise. >>> >>>> 3. Summary of MIB Module >>>> 3.1 >>>>> >>>>> Attributes (PTAs) advertised/received in I/S-PSMI Auto-Discovery >>>> >>>> Typo: I/S-PMSI, (see 3.3 below). >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 3.2 some more text like the following will be good. >>>> L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB contains >>>> o a Textual Convention L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType that provides >>>> an enumeration of the provider tunnel types and, >>>> o a table l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable. The table index is >>>> composed of multiple attributes that depend on the tunnel type and >>>> uniquely identify a tunnel. This table will be used to ... monitor >>>> the tunnels supported by the system at a given point of time (?) >>>> It may also be used in conjunction with XXXX-mib to obtain the >>>> other details of a tunnel by following the row pointer of the >>>> corresponding tunnel's row in this table. >>>> [ Please treat the above as a template and modify the text as >>>> appropriate ..] >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point. >>> >>>> 3.3 Since this will become a standard document, please take care of >>>> definitions and notations used in the document. >>>> The notation I/S-PMSI is not defined. If you must use a new >>>> term/notation, define it before use. >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point. >>> >>>> 4. Definitions >>>> >>>>> IMPORTS >>>>> MODULE-IDENTITY, OBJECT-TYPE, experimental >>>> >>>> 4.1 Since this is not a Experimental MIB do not import use experimental. >>>> It is good practice to keep the draft in the as "close to final form" >>>> as possible. (See below) >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.2 >>>>> >>>>> LAST-UPDATED "201310141200Z" -- October 14, 2013 >>>> >>>> Please update this date. >>> >>> >>> Updated. >>> >>>> 4.3 >>>>> >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "This MIB contains common managed object definitions for >>>>> multicast in Layer 2 and Layer 3 VPNs, defined by >>>>> [RFC7117] and [RFC6513] [RFC6514] respectively. >>>> >>>> Would be good if you could rearrange the text. Something like >>>> "This MIB module will be used for managing multicast in Layer 2 >>>> VPNs [RFC7117] and Layer 3 VPNs [RFC6513], [RFC6514]. >>>> Or, even better >>>> "This MIB module will be used by other MIB modules designed for >>>> managing multicast in Layer 2 VPNs [RFC7117] and Layer 3 VPNs >>>> [RFC6513], [RFC6514] >>>> Or, a combination of both, depending on the envisaged use case >>>> scenarios. >>> >>> >>> Rearranged the text along with your comment. >>> >>>> 4.4 >>>>> >>>>> ::= { experimental 999 } >>>> >>>> Please >>>> o Replace "experimental" by the branch where this mib module will >>>> be anchored; that is a decision that the WG will take, probably. >>>> o Import the branch in the IMPORTS statement >>>> [ In the IANA Considerations section a branch in the mib-2 subtree >>>> is requested. In that case this must be >>>> ::= { mib-2 XXX } >>>> ] >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.5 >>>>> >>>>> -- Please also remove the ", experimental" text from earlier >>>>> -- IMPORTS section. >>>> >>>> Remove these instructions. >>> >>> >>> Removed. >>> >>>> 4.5.2 >>>>> >>>>> -- Texual convention >>>> >>>> Typo: -- Textual convention >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.6 >>>>> >>>>> L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "Types of provider tunnels used for multicast in >>>>> BGP/MPLS L2 or L3 VPN. Additional types may be defined >>>>> in future RFCs, and those will be allowed as >>>>> valid types for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType." >>>> >>>> The part >>>>> >>>>> Additional types may be defined >>>>> in future RFCs, and those will be allowed as >>>>> valid types for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType." >>>> >>>> may be deleted. >>> >>> >>> Deleted. >>> >>>> 4.7 >>>>> >>>>> -- Top level components of this MIB. >>>>> -- tables, scalars, conformance information >>>>> >>>>> l2L3VpnMcastObjects OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 1 } >>>>> l2L3VpnMcastConformance OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 2 } >>>> >>>> l2L3VpnMcastStates OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastObjects 1 } >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> -- Table of PMSI Tunnel Attributes >>>>> >>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE >>>> >>>> >>>> should be >>>> >>>> -- Top level components of this MIB. >>>> >>>> l2L3VpnMcastObjects OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 1 } >>>> l2L3VpnMcastConformance OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastMIB 2 } >>>> l2L3VpnMcastStates OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { l2L3VpnMcastObjects 1 } >>>> >>>> -- tables, scalars, conformance information >>>> -- Table of PMSI Tunnel Attributes >>>> >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.8 >>>>> >>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> SYNTAX SEQUENCE OF L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry >>>>> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible >>>>> STATUS current >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "This table is for PMSI Tunnel Attributes (PTAs) >>>>> advertised/received in I/S-PSMI Auto-Discovery routes. >>>>> The entries may be referred to by I-PMSI or S-PMSI table >>>>> entries defined in other MIBs, e.g. mvpnMIB in >>>>> [I-D.ietf-bess-mvpn-mib]." >>>> >>>> >>>> It would seem that each row in this table is an index for a PTA >>>> and may contain pointers to rows in tables of other MIB modules >>>> which may contain more details for the PTA. Is that correct? >>>> Please reword the DESCRIPTION acordingly. >>>> Also see comments in 4.15 >>> >>> >>> TBD. I need some more time to understand the original context. >>> >>>> 4.9 >>>>> >>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> "An entry in this table corresponds to a PTA >>>>> that is advertised/received on this router. >>>> >>>> We are in the description of "l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry" >>>> so "entry in this table" does not fit in well. >>>> A rewording like >>>> "A conceptual row corresponding to a PTA >>>> that is advertised/received on this router. >>>> .... >>>> would be better. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.10 >>>>> >>>>> For BGP-based signaling (for I-PMSI via auto-discovery >>>>> procedure, or for S-PMSI via S-PMSI A-D routes), >>>>> they are just as signaled by BGP. >>>>> For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, >>>>> they're derived from the S-PMSI Join Message. >>>> >>>> >>>>> Note that BGP-based signaling may be used for >>>>> PIM-MVPN as well." >>>> >>>> Is the signaling mechanism important here? If it isn't then the >>>> above part of the description is redundant. >>> >>> >>> Removed the above part. >>> >>>> 4.10-2 >>>> PIM-MVPN appears for the first time. >>> >>> >>> Defined the notation of PIM-MVPM as follows >>> Protocol Independent Multicast - MVPN (PIM-MVPN) >>> However, I think that some descriptions may be required for this >>> somewhere in this document. That is TBD. >>> >>>> 4.10-3 >>>> the phrase UDP-based S-PMSI appears here for the first time. >>>> Somewhere earlier it should be made clear that UDP too may be used >>>> in signaling. >>> >>> >>> TBD. >>> >>>> 4.11 >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> >>>>> "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, this is 0. >>>> >>>> "this" is unclear. >>>> Something like "the value of this object is 0" will be better. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>>> More bits may be defined in the future and >>>>> they will be registered in IANA Registry xxxx." >>>> >>>> This part is probably redundant. >>> >>> >>> Removed. >>> >>>> 4.12 >>>>> >>>>> -- RFC Ed. replace xxxx with the actual registry name >>>>> -- that is being created via [I-D.ietf-bess-mvpn-mib] >>>>> -- and remove this note. >>>> >>>> >>>> Look at the comments in 6.0 >>> >>> >>> The above description ("IANA Registry xxxx.") was removed, >>> thus this part was also removed. >>> >>>> 4.13 >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "As defined for L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType. >>>>> For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, >>>>> this is pim-asm (3), pim-ssm (4), or pim-bidir (5). >>>>> For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel Type >>>>> field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding >>>>> I/S-PMSI A-D or Leaf A-D route." >>>> >>>> o Does this description cover all the types? If not, then cover all the >>>> types unless there is a good reason to focus only on the above types. >>>> o I/S-PMSI: unexplained notation. >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to address this point. >>> >>>> 4.14 >>>> >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> >>>>> SYNTAX OCTET STRING ( SIZE (0|4|8|12|17|24|29) ) >>>> >>>> It appears that you also allow sizes "16" and "32"; these must be >>>> included. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>>> IPv4/IPv6 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType >>>> >>>> Please indicate that the first column gives the size >>> >>> >>> I made a change as follows. >>> >>> Size l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType >>> (IPv4/IPv6) >>> -------------------------------------------------- >>> (snip) >>> 8/32 pimAsm >>> (snip) >>> >>> Is this OK? >>> >>>>> 8/32 pimAsm >>>>> 8/32 pimSsm >>>>> 8/32 pimBidir >>>>> 4/16 ingressReplication >>>> >>>> >>>>> For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, the first >>>>> 8 or 32 octets of this attribute are filled with >>>>> the provider tunnel (source, group) IPv4/IPv6 addresses. >>>>> For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel >>>>> Identifier field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the >>>>> corresponding I/S-PMSI A-D route." >>>> >>>> >>>> A more generous description of the AttributeID would be good. All the >>>> cases must be covered. Section 5 of RFC 6514 does it nicely. A simple >>>> summary would be very nice. >>> >>> >>> TBD. Please give me some more time to revise this point. >>> >>>> 4.15 >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer OBJECT-TYPE >>>>> >>>>> SYNTAX RowPointer >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "If the tunnel exists in some MIB table, e.g. mplsTunnelTable >>>>> [RFC3812], this is the row pointer to it. Otherwise, the >>>>> pointer is null." >>>> >>>> I am having problems understanding this. Will help if you can give >>>> a use case of how this will be used. As of now the intent is unclear. >>>> A RowPointer cannot be pointing to "some MIB table". It must be >>>> pointer to a specific row in a specific table. If this is a pointer to >>>> a row in the mplsTunnelTable spell it out clearly and unambiguously. >>> >>> >>> TBD. I will need some more time to understand the original context. >>> >>>> 4.16 >>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE >>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> >>>>> "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface, this is the >>>>> row pointer to ifXTable. Otherwise, the pointer is null." >>>> >>>> This description is better. Would be even better with >>>> "If the tunnel has a corresponding entry in the ifXTable, >>>> this object will point to the row pertaining to the entry ..... >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 4.17 >>>> l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup OBJECT-GROUP >>>>> >>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>> "Support of these object is not required." >>>> >>>> Support of these objects is not required. >>> >>> >>> Fixed. >>> >>>> 5.0 >>>>> >>>>> 5. Security Considerations >>>> >>>> TBD >>> >>> >>> Still TBD. >>> >>>> 6.0 >>>>> >>>>> 6. IANA Considerations >>>> >>>> >>>>> IANA is requested to root MIB objects in the MIB module contained in >>>>> this document under the mib-2 subtree. >>>> >>>> >>>> Please Note: >>>> To make the L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType TC maintainable you need to >>>> put the definitions in a separate MIB module. That would mean a >>>> separate branch in the mib-2 subtree. Then the maintenance of the >>>> TC can be carried out by some entity ( IANA or, some WG or, whoever is >>>> responsible for maintaining the TC) independent of other MIB objects. >>>> If that is the intent you will need to define 2 mib modules and you >>>> will >>>> need to request 2 branches in the mib-2 subtree- one for the module >>>> containing the L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType TC and another for the >>>> module containing the l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeTable. >>> >>> >>> TBD. I will address this point in the next revision. >>> >>> 2016-06-07 18:39 GMT+09:00 Glenn Mansfield Keeni <glenn@cysols.com>: >>>> >>>> Hi Jeffrey, >>>> Thanks for the good work on draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib >>>> document. It took me some time to do this review. But now here it >>>> is. A (near complete) review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt >>>> is >>>> attached. Hope this helps. >>>> I understand that the Security Considerations section is TBD. >>>> >>>> Glenn >>>> >>>> On 2016/05/19 4:48, Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang wrote: >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Hi Glenn, >>>>> >>>>>> -----Original Message----- >>>>>> From: Glenn Mansfield Keeni [mailto:glenn@cysols.com] >>>>>> Sent: Sunday, May 08, 2016 11:02 AM >>>>>> To: Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang <zzhang@juniper.net>; Benoit Claise >>>>>> <bclaise@cisco.com>; EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com >>>>>> <thomas.morin@orange.com> >>>>>> Cc: Mach Chen <mach.chen@huawei.com>; ops-ads@ietf.org; Martin >>>>>> Vigoureux >>>>>> <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>; bess@ietf.org; mib-doctors@ietf.org >>>>>> Subject: Re: [bess] MIBDoc review of >>>>>> draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib- >>>>>> 02.txt >>>>>> >>>>>> Jeffrey, >>>>>> > Thanks for your comments. I've addressed most of your comments >>>>>> > in the new revision: >>>>>> Thanks for your cooperation. I will need at least one more revision >>>>>> with the following comments/recommendations addressed before I will >>>>>> be able to complete the detailed review. In the following the numbers >>>>>> refer to the issue numbers in the initial review. The issues that are >>>>>> addressed and closed are not listed. For brevity, the issue >>>>>> descriptions have been trimmed. In case of doubts please look at the >>>>>> response mail appended below. >>>>>> Hope this helps. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Thanks for your detailed comments/suggestions. I posted a new revision >>>>> with the following issues addressed. >>>>> >>>>> URL: >>>>> >>>>> https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04.txt >>>>> Status: >>>>> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib/ >>>>> Htmlized: >>>>> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04 >>>>> Diff: >>>>> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-04 >>>>> >>>>> Please see some notes below. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Glenn >>>>>> >>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------- >>>>>> >>>>>> Comments: >>>>>> >>>>>> 1.1 >>>>>> > I had thought this would be standard/obvious for all MIB objects - >>>>>> We will comeback to this time and again, whereever possible make >>>>>> matters explicit and clear. That will help. >>>>>> > Is it enough to say something similar? For example: >>>>>> > In particular, it describes common managed objects used >>>>>> > to configure and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast. >>>>>> That is better. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I take it that this is already closed in -03 revision. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 2.2 >>>>>> > Having said that, I'll explain PMSI a bit further. >>>>>> PMSI explanation is good. >>>>>> Please use the same style/format for I-PMSI and S-PMSI. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I think -03 revision already use the same style/format for I-PMSI and >>>>> S-PMSI? >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 2.3 >>>>>> > No difference. I was using "Layer 3" or "L3" but it was pointed out >>>>>> > that the layer 3 VPN is often referred to IP VPN in other RFCs and I >>>>>> > was advised to change it accordingly. Looks like I did not change >>>>>> all >>>>>> > the cases. >>>>>> > On the other hand, I noticed that RFC 4382 does use "Layer 3 VPN" >>>>>> so >>>>>> > I'll change it back. >>>>>> No problems. just make sure that the same expression/notation is used >>>>>> uniformly. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I take it that this is also addressed in -03 already. >>>>> >>>>>> 3. >>>>>> > > > 3. Summary of MIB Module. >>>>>> > > > An overview of the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB will be good- the >>>>>> > > > structure of the MIB, short descriptions of the table(s) >>>>>> > > > including usage of the table(s) for management and/or by >>>>>> > > > other MIB(s). >>>>>> > >>>>>> > I had that, but have added one sentence about the only table. >>>>>> A sentence or two about the textual convention will be good. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Added in -04. >>>>> >>>>>> > > > 4. MIB syntax checking: >>>>>> > > > smilint -s -e -l 5 mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB >>>>>> 2>L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.txt >>>>>> > >>>>>> > I used simpleweb's validation tool but looks like I did not use the >>>>>> > strictest level of validation. I've now fixed the following issues >>>>>> and >>>>>> > verified. >>>>>> Good. >>>>>> 5. >>>>>> > > > >>>>>> > > > 5. REFERENCE clauses: Please use REFERENCE clauses liberally. >>>>>> > > > Wherever possible, provide references for objects used in >>>>>> > > > the MIB. The references will point to specific sections/ >>>>>> > > > sub-sections of the RFCs defining the protocol for which the >>>>>> > > > MIB is being designed. It will greatly improve the >>>>>> readability >>>>>> > > > of the document. >>>>>> > >>>>>> > Added. >>>>>> I would recommend using the REFERENCE clause as in rfs4382 and >>>>>> improve on it. >>>>>> Specifically, instead of keeping the reference in the DESCRIPTION >>>>>> clause move it to a separate REFERENCE clause. The addition of the >>>>>> section number is an improvement. It is friendlier to the reader. >>>>>> Note. Same comment for other OBJECTs too. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Oh I missed that. All fixed. >>>>> >>>>>> 7.1 >>>>>> > > > 7.1 CONTACT-INFO >>>>>> > > > Following the conventions (including indentation style) >>>>>> will >>>>>> > > > improve the readability. (e.g. RFC4382, RFC5132). >>>>>> > > > Will be good if it does not overflow into the next page. >>>>>> > >>>>>> > Fixed. >>>>>> The format is OK. The Postal address etc., need not have been >>>>>> deleted. Please put the complete contact information as in the >>>>>> Author's Address. (RFC 2578 section 5.7 gives a usage example). >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Fixed. >>>>> >>>>>> 7.3 >>>>>> > I kept "experimental 99" so that I could continue to use mib tools >>>>>> > to validate; but I added notes for the editor to replace them as you >>>>>> > indicated. >>>>>> Use of "experimental 99" is not recommended. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Do you mean 99 is not a good number? What about 9999? As I explained, I >>>>> kept it so that we can use mib tools to validate, and I've added >>>>> detailed >>>>> notes for the editor. >>>>> >>>>>> 8 >>>>>> > > > 8. Specific MO and TC related comments. >>>>>> > Are spaces allowed? I don't know so I used hyphen. For now I >>>>>> replace >>>>>> > with things like rsvpP2mp. >>>>>> Yes. Camelcase is an allowed practice. SMI does not mind it. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Ok this is closed already then. >>>>> >>>>>> 8.2 >>>>>> > > > 8.2 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>> > The intent is to simply return the octet value of the flags >>>>>> > field, w/o listing individual bits like "Leaf Information Required". >>>>>> > More bits could be defined in the future but the MIB would not >>>>>> change. >>>>>> > >>>>>> > Is that OK? >>>>>> As far as possible, the meaning of the objects must be made clear. >>>>>> That will help implementors and operators- users of the MIB. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I added the definition for one existing bit and reference to the IANA >>>>> registry being created for this flag field. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 8.3 >>>>>> > > > 8.3 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>> > Depending on the tunnel type, there could be different sizes. >>>>>> > Future tunnel types could have other sizes that not specified >>>>>> > today. I was thinking to just give a size >>>>>> > tPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE range so that it is flexible. >>>>>> > Is that ok? >>>>>> I see that you have changed the size upper limit to 50. >>>>>> If the size varies continuously from 0 to 50 the above description >>>>>> is correct. >>>>>> Please confirm, explain and cite appropriate reference. If the size >>>>>> may change in the future that must be stated too. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I changed to discrete sizes for currently defined tunnel types. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 8.4 >>>>>> > > > 8.4 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>> > > > SYNTAX RowPointer >>>>>> > > > MAX-ACCESS read-only >>>>>> > > > STATUS current >>>>>> > > > DESCRIPTION >>>>>> > > > "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface, >>>>>> > > > this is the row pointer to the ifName table." >>>>>> > > > o DESCRIPTION looks incorrect. Please fix it. Do you >>>>>> > > > want to say this object points to the corresponding >>>>>> > > > row in the ifTable? >>>>>> > >>>>>> > Yes. Fixed. >>>>>> Not quite. >>>>>> What is ifName table ? ifName is a columnar object in the ifXTable. >>>>>> Is l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf a pointer to the corresponding row in >>>>>> the >>>>>> ifXTable table ? Please fix accordingly. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> You're right. Fixed. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 9. >>>>>> > > > 9. The Security Considerations section does not follow >>>>>> > > > the Security Guidelines for IETF MIB Modules >>>>>> > > > http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/ops/trac/wiki/mib-security. >>>>>> > > > Please fix. >>>>>> > >>>>>> > I was really hoping that it would not have to be that >>>>>> > tedious. SNMP/MIB secur >>>>>> ity should be no different from the >>>>>> > CLI security - once you secure the infrastructure >>>>>> > then what's more to do? >>>>>> > >>>>>> > I'll need more time to work on this. Let me try to address >>>>>> > the issues in the other mib first and come back to this. >>>>>> >>>>>> Please take your time. Looking at examples will help. And let me >>>>>> know where I can help. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I will need to work on that later. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 10.1 >>>>>> > > > 10.1 Checking nits according to >>>>>> > > > http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist : >>>>>> > Should I break them into different lines or just keep them >>>>>> > as is? Any example of expected indentation if I break the >>>>>> > lines? >>>>>> No problems at all to break lines. >>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastGroups OBJECT IDENTIFIER >>>>>> ::= {l2L3VpnMcastConformance 1} >>>>>> Should do. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Done. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 10.2 >>>>>> > > > 10.2 Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard >>>>>> > > > == Missing Reference: 'RFC 7117' is mentioned on line 76, >>>>>> > > > but not defined >>>>>> > > > 'described in [RFC6513, RFC6514, RFC 7117] and other >>>>>> > I hope I understood and fixed it (removing the space in "RFC >>>>>> 7117"). >>>>>> I would recommend that you put it as [RFC6513], [RFC6514], [RFC7117] >>>>>> That is simpler to parse. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> I see some other documents do not have comma between multiple references >>>>> so I followed that. >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> > > > 11. There is another WIP MVPN-MIB in >>>>>> > > > draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-02.txt >>>>>> > > > MVPN-MIB has objects that refer to L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB. >>>>>> > > > Is there a good reason for not merging the 2 documents? >>>>>> > > > I have not seen any discussion or explanation on this. >>>>>> > > > I may have missed it. >>>>>> > > > Please clarify or, give some pointers. >>>>>> > >>>>>> > As mentioned in the introduction: >>>>>> > >>>>>> > this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS >>>>>> > Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514]. >>>>>> > MVPN-MIB is for MVPN. There was another VPLS Multicast MIB >>>>>> > in the work and both would reference common >>>>>> >>>>>> > objects defined in this MIB. >>>>>> >>>>>> OK. So you are saying that this MIB contains core objects that >>>>>> will be used to manage implementations of various multicast VPN >>>>>> protocols e.g. [RFC7117], [RFC6513],[RFC6514] ? It will help if >>>>>> you spell it out at the beginning. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Yes. I thought I did it already: >>>>> >>>>> 1. Introduction >>>>> >>>>> ... and this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS >>>>> Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514]. >>>>> >>>>> Thanks! >>>>> Jeffrey >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- >>>>>> On 2016/04/16 21:47, Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang wrote: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Glenn, >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Thanks for your comments. I've addressed most of your comments in the >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> new revision: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> URL: https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-bess- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-03.txt >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Status: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> vpn-mcast-mib/ >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Htmlized: https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> mcast-mib-03 >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Diff: >>>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-bess-l2l3- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> vpn-mcast-mib-03 >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Please see below. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 1. Abstract: >>>>>>>> 1.1 A sentence on how the managed objects will be used by >>>>>>>> applications for operations, monitoring and management >>>>>>>> would be good. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I had thought this would be standard/obvious for all MIB objects - the >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> read-write ones are used to control how a device works, and the >>>>>> read-only >>>>>> ones are used for monitoring. Do I really need to say it explicitly? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I see RFC 4382 has the following: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> This memo defines a portion of the Management Information Base >>>>>>> (MIB) >>>>>>> for use with network management protocols in the Internet >>>>>>> community. >>>>>>> In particular, it describes managed objects to configure and/or >>>>>>> monitor Multiprotocol Label Switching Layer-3 Virtual Private >>>>>>> Networks on a Multiprotocol Label Switching (MPLS) Label Switching >>>>>>> Router (LSR) supporting this feature. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Is it enough to say something similar? For example: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> In particular, it describes common managed objects used to >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> configure >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> and/or monitor both L2 and L3 VPN Multicast. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2. Introduction >>>>>>>> 2.1 Please give the full expansion of the abbreviations >>>>>>>> appearing for the first time. (PE, VPLS,..) >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Fixed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2.2 The terminology section is a bit terse. Explaining the >>>>>>>> terms that are used, nicely with reference to the protocol >>>>>>>> documents will improve readability. >>>>>>>> e.g. >>>>>>>> - PMSI, I-PMSI, S-PMSI, provider tunnels >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> As the paragraph alluded to, this MIB needs to be understood in the >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> general context of L2/L3 multicast VPN and providing good explanation >>>>>> of >>>>>> the terms is not attempted. The references for the terms are the the >>>>>> RFCs >>>>>> for the relevant technologies. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Having said that, I'll explain PMSI a bit further. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 2.3 Is there a difference between >>>>>>>> "multicast in Layer 2 and Layer 3 VPNs , defined by >>>>>>>> RFC 7117 and RFC 6513/6514" >>>>>>>> used in the DESCRIPTION in the MODULE-IDENTITY >>>>>>>> and >>>>>>>> "multicast in BGP/MPLS L2 or IP VPN" >>>>>>>> used in the DESCRIPTION of L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ? >>>>>>>> If these are the same, it will be helpful to stick to the >>>>>>>> same expression. If these are not the same, the dictinction >>>>>>>> should be clarified. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> No difference. I was using "Layer 3" or "L3" but it was pointed out >>>>>>> that >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> the layer 3 VPN is often referred to IP VPN in other RFCs and I was >>>>>> advised to change it accordingly. Looks like I did not change all the >>>>>> cases. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> On the other hand, I noticed that RFC 4382 does use "Layer 3 VPN" so >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> I'll change it back. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 3. Summary of MIB Module. >>>>>>>> An overview of the L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB will be good- the >>>>>>>> structure of the MIB, short descriptions of the table(s) >>>>>>>> including usage of the table(s) for management and/or by >>>>>>>> other MIB(s). >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I had that, but have added one sentence about the only table. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> MIB definitions: >>>>>>>> 4. MIB syntax checking: >>>>>>>> smilint -s -e -l 5 mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB >>>>>>>> 2>L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB.txt >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I used simpleweb's validation tool but looks like I did not use the >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> strictest level of validation. I've now fixed the following issues and >>>>>> verified. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:63: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `rsvp-p2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:64: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `ldp-p2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:65: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `pim-asm' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:66: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `pim-ssm' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:67: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `pim-bidir' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:68: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `ingress-replication' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:69: [4] {hyphen-in-label} warning: named >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> number `ldp-mp2mp' must not include a hyphen in SMIv2 >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> See later question/comments below. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:215: [5] {group-unref} warning: current >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> group `l2L3VpnMcastOptionalGroup' is not referenced in this module >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:4: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `NOTIFICATION-TYPE' imported from module `SNMPv2-SMI' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:5: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `Unsigned32' imported from module `SNMPv2-SMI' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:8: [5] {import-unused} warning: identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `NOTIFICATION-GROUP' imported from module `SNMPv2-CONF' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:11: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `TruthValue' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:11: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `RowStatus' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:12: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `TimeStamp' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:12: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `TimeInterval' imported from module `SNMPv2-TC' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:15: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `SnmpAdminString' imported from module `SNMP-FRAMEWORK-MIB' is never >>>>>> used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:18: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `InetAddress' imported from module `INET-ADDRESS-MIB' is never used >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> mibs/L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB:18: [5] {import-unused} warning: >>>>>>>> identifier >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> `InetAddressType' imported from module `INET-ADDRESS-MIB' is never used >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Removed the above unused imports. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 5. REFERENCE clauses: Please use REFERENCE clauses liberally. >>>>>>>> Wherever possible, provide references for objects used in >>>>>>>> the MIB. The references will point to specific sections/ >>>>>>>> sub-sections of the RFCs defining the protocol for which the >>>>>>>> MIB is being designed. It will greatly improve the readability >>>>>>>> of the document. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Added. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 6. IMPORTS clause >>>>>>>> MIB modules from which items are imported must be cited and >>>>>>>> included in the normative references. >>>>>>>> The conventional style is >>>>>>>> mplsStdMIB >>>>>>>> FROM MPLS-TC-STD-MIB -- [RFC3811] >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Added. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 7. Please update the MODULE-IDENTITY. (There are no syntantic >>>>>>>> errors.) >>>>>>>> 7.1 CONTACT-INFO >>>>>>>> Following the conventions (including indentation style) will >>>>>>>> improve the readability. (e.g. RFC4382, RFC5132). >>>>>>>> Will be good if it does not overflow into the next page. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Fixed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 7.2 REVISION clause: follow the convention recommended in RFC4181 >>>>>>>> sec 4.5 >>>>>>>> REVISION "200212132358Z" -- December 13, 2002 >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION "Initial version, published as RFC yyyy." >>>>>>>> -- RFC Ed.: replace yyyy with actual RFC number & remove this >>>>>>>> note: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Fixed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 7.3 OID assignment: follow the convention recommended in RFC4181 >>>>>>>> sec 4.5 i >>>>>>>> replace >>>>>>>> ::= { experimental 99 } -- number to be assigned >>>>>>>> by >>>>>>>> ::= { <subtree> XXX } >>>>>>>> -- RFC Ed.: replace XXX with IANA-assigned number & remove this >>>>>>>> note >>>>>>>> <subtree> will be the subtree under which the module will be >>>>>>>> registered. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I kept "experimental 99" so that I could continue to use mib tools to >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> validate; but I added notes for the editor to replace them as you >>>>>> indicated. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8. Specific MO and TC related comments. >>>>>>>> L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType ::= TEXTUAL-CONVENTION >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "Types of provider tunnels used for multicast in >>>>>>>> BGP/MPLS L2 or IP VPN." >>>>>>>> SYNTAX INTEGER { unconfigured (0), >>>>>>>> rsvp-p2mp (1), >>>>>>>> ldp-p2mp (2), >>>>>>>> pim-asm (3), >>>>>>>> pim-ssm (4), >>>>>>>> pim-bidir (5), >>>>>>>> ingress-replication (6), >>>>>>>> ldp-mp2mp (7) >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> o Would be nice to align the enumeration labels with the >>>>>>>> labels in the protocol document RFC 6514 unless there is >>>>>>>> a good reason for not doing so. (You will have to take >>>>>>>> care of the smi compilation errors too; '-' is not allowed ). >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Are spaces allowed? I don't know so I used hyphen. For now I replace >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> with things like rsvpP2mp. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Or could/should I just remove the definitions, so that if a new type >>>>>>> is >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> defined in the future there is no need to update the MIB? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8.1 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>>>> SYNTAX L2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry >>>>>>>> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "An entry in this table corresponds to an PMSI attribute >>>>>>>> that is advertised/received on this router. >>>>>>>> For BGP-based signaling (for I-PMSI via auto-discovery >>>>>>>> procedure, or for S-PMSI via S-PMSI A-D routes), >>>>>>>> they are just as signaled by BGP (RFC 6514 section 5, >>>>>>>> 'PMSI Tunnel attribute'). >>>>>>>> For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, >>>>>>>> they're derived from S-PMSI Join Message >>>>>>>> (RFC 6513 section 7.4.2, 'UDP-based Protocol').. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Note that BGP-based signaling may be used for >>>>>>>> PIM-MVPN as well." >>>>>>>> o Fix the ".." in "'UDP-based Protocol').." above. >>>>>>>> o Please give the reference for this Table. >>>>>>>> Is it- "PMSI Tunnel attribute" in RFC 6513 Sec.4 ? >>>>>>>> "PMSI Tunnel attribute" in RFC 6514 Sec.5 ? >>>>>>>> both? >>>>>>>> Any other pointers? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Fixed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8.2 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeFlags OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>>>> SYNTAX OCTET STRING (SIZE (1)) >>>>>>>> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, this is 0. >>>>>>>> For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Flags >>>>>>>> field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding >>>>>>>> I/S-PMSI A-D route." >>>>>>>> ::= { l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeEntry 1 } >>>>>>>> o Please confirm that the above is a complete enumeration of the >>>>>>>> types of signalling. >>>>>>>> o RFC 6514 Sec.5 says that the Flags field indicates >>>>>>>> "Leaf Information Required". That is useful information. >>>>>>>> Please include in the description. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> The intent is to simply return the octet value of the flags field, w/o >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> listing individual bits like "Leaf Information Required". More bits >>>>>> could >>>>>> be defined in the future but the MIB would not change. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Is that OK? >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8.3 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeId OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>>>> SYNTAX OCTET STRING ( SIZE (0..37) ) >>>>>>>> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "For UDP-based S-PMSI signaling for PIM-MVPN, the first >>>>>>>> four or sixteen octets of this attribute are filled >>>>>>>> with >>>>>>>> the provider tunnel group address (IPv4 or IPv6).. >>>>>>>> For BGP-based I/S-PMSI signaling, this is the Tunnel >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Identifier >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Field in PMSI Tunnel Attribute of the corresponding >>>>>>>> I/S- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> PMSI >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> A-D route." >>>>>>>> o Check the size specifications. The specs above say it can be >>>>>>>> all sizes 0..37. That is not clear from the DESCRIPTION clause. >>>>>>>> o Fix the ".." in "(IPv4 or IPv6).." above. >>>>>>>> o RFC 6514 Sec 5. PMSI Tunnel Attribute gives the Tunnel >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Identifiers >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> for mLDP, PIM-SM, PIM-SSM, BIDIR-PIM,Ingress Replication,MP2MP. >>>>>>>> It appears that the sizes (range) for each case will be >>>>>>>> different. >>>>>>>> Please clarify that, and if there are discrete sizes, specify >>>>>>>> accordingly. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Depending on the tunnel type, there could be different sizes. Future >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> tunnel types could have other sizes that not specified today. I was >>>>>> thinking to just give a size range so that it is flexible. Is that ok? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8.3 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelPointer OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>>>> SYNTAX RowPointer >>>>>>>> MAX-ACCESS read-only >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "If the tunnel exists in some MIB table, this is the >>>>>>>> row pointer to it." >>>>>>>> o "some MIB table" : specify which MIB table. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I can give an example, like mplsTunnelTable [RFC 3812]. It could be >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> whatever table that a tunnel may be put into. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> o In what case will the tunnel exist and in what case will it >>>>>>>> not? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> If a device supports mplsTunnelTable and the tunnel is represented >>>>>>> there, >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> then it exists. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> o What will be the behaviour if the above condition is not >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> satisfied? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> A null pointer should be given. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 8.4 l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelIf OBJECT-TYPE >>>>>>>> SYNTAX RowPointer >>>>>>>> MAX-ACCESS read-only >>>>>>>> STATUS current >>>>>>>> DESCRIPTION >>>>>>>> "If the tunnel has a corresponding interface, this is the >>>>>>>> row pointer to the ifName table." >>>>>>>> o DESCRIPTION looks incorrect. Please fix it. Do you want to say >>>>>>>> this object points to the corresponding row in the ifTable? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Yes. Fixed. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> o In what case does the TunnelIf exist and in what case will it >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> not? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Some tunnels may not have a corresponding interface. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> o What will be expected if the tunnel does not have a >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> corresponding >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> interface? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Null row pointer. >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 9. The Security Considerations section does not follow the Security >>>>>>>> Guidelines for IETF MIB Modules >>>>>>>> http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/ops/trac/wiki/mib-security. >>>>>>>> Please fix. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I was really hoping that it would not have to be that tedious. >>>>>>> SNMP/MIB >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> security should be no different from the CLI security - once you secure >>>>>> the infrastructure then what's more to do? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I'll need more time to work on this. Let me try to address the issues >>>>>>> in >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> the other mib first and come back to this. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 10.ID-nits >>>>>>>> 10.1 Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist >>>>>>>> : >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------ >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> --------- >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> ** There are 4 instances of too long lines in the document, the >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> longest one >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> being 3 characters in excess of 72. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I fixed some but there still three too long lines: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastPmsiTunnelAttributeType >>>>>>> L2L3VpnMcastProviderTunnelType, >>>>>>> >>>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastGroups OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= >>>>>>> {l2L3VpnMcastConformance >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 1} >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> l2L3VpnMcastCompliances OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= >>>>>>> {l2L3VpnMcastConformance >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 2} >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Should I break them into different lines or just keep them as is? Any >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> example of expected indentation if I break the lines? >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 10.2 Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------------ >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> --------- >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> == Missing Reference: 'RFC 7117' is mentioned on line 76, but >>>>>>>> not >>>>>>>> defined >>>>>>>> 'described in [RFC6513, RFC6514, RFC 7117] and other >>>>>>>> documents >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> tha...' >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> I hope I understood and fixed it (removing the space in "RFC 7117"). >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> 11. There is another WIP MVPN-MIB in draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-mib-02.txt >>>>>>>> MVPN-MIB has objects that refer to L2L3-VPN-MCAST-MIB. >>>>>>>> Is there a good reason for not merging the 2 documents? I have >>>>>>>> not >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> seen >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> any discussion or explanation on this. I may have missed it. >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Please >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> clarify or, give some pointers. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> As mentioned in the introduction: >>>>>>> >>>>>>> this memo describes managed objects common to both VPLS >>>>>>> Multicast [RFC7117] and MVPN [RFC6513, RFC6514]. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> MVPN-MIB is for MVPN. There was another VPLS Multicast MIB in the work >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> and both would reference common objects defined in this MIB. >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Thanks! >>>>>>> Jeffrey >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> -----Original Message----- >>>>>>>> From: BESS [mailto:bess-bounces@ietf.org] On Behalf Of Glenn >>>>>>>> Mansfield >>>>>>>> Keeni >>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, April 12, 2016 2:28 AM >>>>>>>> To: Benoit Claise <bclaise@cisco.com>; EXT - thomas.morin@orange.com >>>>>>>> <thomas.morin@orange.com> >>>>>>>> Cc: Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang <zzhang@juniper.net>; ops-ads@ietf.org; >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Martin >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Vigoureux <martin.vigoureux@nokia.com>; bess@ietf.org; Mach Chen >>>>>>>> <mach.chen@huawei.com> >>>>>>>> Subject: [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib- >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> 02.txt >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Hi, >>>>>>>> I have been asked to do a MIB Doctors review of >>>>>>>> draft-ietf-bess-l2l3-vpn-mcast-mib-02.txt. >>>>>>>> My knowledge of L2L3VPN Multicast is limited to the reading >>>>>>>> of this document and browsing through the documents referred >>>>>>>> to in the draft and bess-wg mailing list archives.( read "shallow"). >>>>>>>> So some of the doubts and questions may sound trivial or >>>>>>>> strange. Please bear with me and help me help you make >>>>>>>> this into a better document :-) >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The comments are attached. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> Glenn >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>>>> BESS mailing list >>>>>>> BESS@ietf.org >>>>>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess >>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> BESS mailing list >>>> BESS@ietf.org >>>> https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess >>>> >> > > _______________________________________________ > BESS mailing list > BESS@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/bess >
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Benoit Claise
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bess-l2… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Glenn Mansfield Keeni
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] MIBDoc review of draft-ietf-bes… Hiroshi Tsunoda
- Re: [MIB-DOCTORS] [bess] MIBDoc review of draft-i… Glenn Mansfield Keeni