Re: [OPSAWG] Fwd: New Version Notification for draft-ietf-opsawg-mud-21.txt

[Eliot Lear <[e-mail]>]

Ok, I take it back.  Ranga found a problem with an example, and Russ
found a glitch with the SMI.  Nothing serious either, but I now propose
to do one more update, once EKR and Ben have had a chance to review and
comment.

Eliot

On 17.05.18 18:56, Joe Clarke wrote:
> On 5/17/18 12:40, Eliot Lear wrote:
> > Thank you, Joe.  Barring objections, I will hold these as editorial
> > and work with the RFC Editor on them.
>
> That's fine.  I really want to make sure the MUD YANG module gets its
> revision bumped since there was a change.
>
> Joe
>
>
> > Eliot
>
> > On 17.05.18 18:13, Joe Clarke wrote:
> >> On 5/17/18 11:36, Eliot Lear wrote:
> >>> Hi everyone,
> >>
> >>> This draft is intended to address all IESG comments.  Thanks to
> >>> the IESG and reviewers for their contributions.  A summary of
> >>> the changes is below, but people may wish to do a side by side
> >>> review.
> >>
> >> Thanks for working with the IESG to resolve the major comments.
> >>
> >> I have a few additional on this draft.
> >>
> >> Section 1.7
> >>
> >> s/URL that the thing emitted/URL that the Thing emitted/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 2.1
> >>
> >> You changed container "mud" to component "mud" here likely to be
> >> consistent with the use of component in the other two bullets.
> >> However, because "mud" is quoted, it seems like you are directly
> >> referring to the mud container in the YANG model.  Maybe drop
> >> the "mud" or say:
> >>
> >> the first component, the "mud" container, ...
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 4.6
> >>
> >> s/each every/each and every/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 4.8
> >>
> >> s/This MUST only applied to TCP.  this/This only applies to TCP.
> >> This/
> >>
> >> Not sure if that's what you want to say.
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 7
> >>
> >> You didn't bump the revision with this YANG module update.  This
> >> can mess up some tooling we have.  Can I ask that you bump this
> >> at least once before final publication?
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 7
> >>
> >> I'm not a YANG doctor, but I see formatting inconsistencies in
> >> this module.  It would benefit from running it through pyang -f
> >> yang to normalize the formatting.
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 8.3
> >>
> >> The same is true here.  A pyang -f yang will normalize the
> >> formatting.
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 9
> >>
> >> Suggestion to add documentation to your example MUD file just to
> >> hint at this being a good behavior for the benefit of admins.
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 13
> >>
> >> s/To insure that/To ensure that/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 13.2
> >>
> >> s/that the verification step match/that the verification step
> >> matches/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 15
> >>
> >> s/alloewed/allowed/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 16
> >>
> >> s/occured/occurred/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Section 17.1
> >>
> >> s/registred/registered/
> >>
> >> ===
> >>
> >> Appendix B
> >>
> >> s/overriden/overridden/
> >>
> >> Joe
> >>
> >>
> >>> Eliot
> >>
> >>
> >>> * Small edits to the abstract * Clarity in the introduction
> >>> that the focus is on protecting the device. * Many
> >>> grammatical/wording improvements * Clarity when MUD is most
> >>> effective. * MUD controller -> MUD manager * Normative language
> >>> boiler plate change * Clarity on what should happen when a MUD
> >>> manager can't reach a MUD file server * A few reference updates
> >>> * Clarity on the validity time of a MUD file * Added references
> >>> to RFCs 5911 and 5912 for SMI changes * one additional data
> >>> element (documentation) * one change based on an update to the
> >>> ACL model during its last call * Subsection numbering for node
> >>> descriptions. * Improved text around "controller",
> >>> direction-initiated. * Simplified MUD-URL text. * Optional
> >>> reserved space added to DHCP, LLDP options * Simplified DHCP
> >>> processing. * A new certificate field to bind the manufacturer
> >>> certificate to the mud signer. * A content type definition for
> >>> the SMI. * Updated security considerations.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
>
>
>