Re: [secdir] SecDir Review of draft-ietf-mpls-tp-ring-protection-05
Yaacov Weingarten <wyaacov@gmail.com> Thu, 18 April 2013 09:47 UTC
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Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:47:46 +0300
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From: Yaacov Weingarten <wyaacov@gmail.com>
To: Tina TSOU <Tina.Tsou.Zouting@huawei.com>
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Subject: Re: [secdir] SecDir Review of draft-ietf-mpls-tp-ring-protection-05
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Tina, hi Thank you for your review, and thank you for the link to the official acronym list. I will incorporate your suggested fixes into the new version of the document that will be uploaded shortly. BR, yaacov On Thu, Apr 18, 2013 at 6:26 AM, Tina TSOU <Tina.Tsou.Zouting@huawei.com>wrote: > Dear all,**** > > I have reviewed this document as part of the security directorate's > ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG. > These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the security area > directors. Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just > like any other last call comments.**** > > ** ** > > It is technically ready, but a few editorial suggestions are below.**** > > ** ** > > Typo, second-last paragraph of Section 1, last sentence:**** > > s/doxument/document/**** > > ** ** > > Editorial suggestion: introduce the abbreviations P2P and P2MP in their > respective bullets at the beginning of Section 1.1. According to the RFC > Editor's list of abbreviations at > http://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc-style-guide/abbrev.expansion.txt,**** > > these are not considered well-known, therefore need to be spelled out on > first use. Note the capitalization, per the RFC Editor's list.**** > > ** ** > > In case 3. of Section 1.1, delete "that" after "operator command" in the > first line to make it consistent with the other two cases.**** > > ** ** > > Section 1.2 first paragraph last sentence: the subject of the sentence is > the singular "Requirement", hence s/are/is/ in the final line.**** > > ** ** > > The authors can consider whether they need to spell out LSP and LSR at the > start of Section 1.3. Again, the RFC Editor does not consider these to be > "well-known" abbreviations.**** > > ** ** > > Second paragraph below Figure 1: The last sentence begins: "Coordination > of the switchover ..." I assume the intention here is to indicate that in > this case operation is not so simple as the first sentence indicates. **** > > That should perhaps be signalled by beginning the sentence with: **** > > "However, coordination of the switchover ..."**** > > ** ** > > Sentence before Figure 7: s/complimentary/complementary/**** > > ** ** > > Spell out e2e in the second paragraph below Figure 8, since it is used > once only.**** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > Thank you,**** > > Tina**** > -- Thanx and BR, yaacov *Still looking for new opportunity*
- [secdir] SecDir Review of draft-ietf-xrblock-rtcp… Matthew Lepinski
- [secdir] SecDir Review of draft-ietf-mpls-tp-ring… Tina TSOU
- [secdir] 答复: SecDir Review of draft-ietf-xrblock-… Qin Wu
- Re: [secdir] SecDir Review of draft-ietf-mpls-tp-… Yaacov Weingarten
- Re: [secdir] 答复: SecDir Review of draft-ietf-xrbl… Matthew Lepinski