Re: [sipcore] Activity proposal on: New Version Notification for draft-jesske-update-p-visited-network-03.txt

[[e-mail]]

The draft looks fine to me technically, though I have a couple of
minor exposition issues:

   Abstract

   ... needs to be included in SIP requests and responses.  This
   document updates RFC 7976, in order to allow inclusion of the P-
   Visited-Network-ID header field in responses.

This reads oddly, as the first sentence speaks of requests and
responses in parallel but the second sentence only considers requests.
That makes sense only due to the context "P-Visited-Network-ID is
already allowed in requests".  I think "... needs to be included in
SIP responses as well as requests" reads better.

   1.  Introduction

   The Third Generation Partnership Project (3GPP) has identified cases
   where different Session Initiation Protocol (SIP) [RFC3261] private
   header extensions referred to as "P-" header fields, and defined in
   [RFC7315], need to be included in SIP requests and responses which is
   currently not allowed according to [RFC7315].  This document updates
   [RFC7315], to allow the inclusion of the affected "P-" header fields
   in such requests and responses.  This document also makes updates for
   [RFC7976] to fix misalignments that occurred when [RFC7315] was
   updated for specific "P-" header fields which are mainly used in (and
   in most cases, only defined for) networks defined by the 3GPP.  The
   updates defined in this document will not cause backward-
   compatibility problems in 3GPP networks which are using
   [TS.3GPP.24.229].

This text seems to have *all* "P-" headers as its scope, whereas the
Abstract and section 3 (the core of the document) seem to be limited
to P-Visited-Network-ID headers.  In particular, this paragraph says
"This document updates [RFC7315], to allow the inclusion of the
affected "P-" header fields in such requests and responses." without
making clear whether P-Visited-Network-ID is simply one of the headers
which "need to be included ... which is currently not allowed"
(implying that further update documents will be generated), or whether
it has been determined that this is the *only* such header (implying
that no other update documents will be generated).

Dale