Re: [Supa] I-D Action: draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-framework-00.txt

["Jonathan Hansford" <[e-mail]>]

Some review comments:

 

*         General

o   The phrase "the GPIM (or the combination of the GPIM and the EPRIM)" or
its equivalent appears a number of times throughout this document so clearly
it is important but, coming to SUPA cold, I failed to understand its
importance. If there is a need to constantly repeat this phrase, could it
not do with further explanation?

*         Page 2

o   1. Introduction

*  "the task of network operations and management applications and deploying
new services" - is that one task and, if so, what is it? Should that read
"the task of network operations and management applications and deploying
new services"?

*         Page 3

o   1. Introduction

*  s/indepednent/independent

*  What is the term "snippet" intended to imply? Should it be defined
somewhere?

o   2.1 Overview

*  "The GPIM, as well as the combination of the  GPIM and EPRIM, are
converted to generic YANG data modules." Shouldn't that be either The GPIM,
as well as the combination of the  GPIM and EPRIM, is converted ." or "The
GPIM and the combination of the  GPIM and EPRIM are converted ."?

*         Page 4

o   2.1 Overview

*  For consistency with capitalisation, either e.g. "SUPA Generic & ECA
Policy YANG Data modules" or "SUPA generic policy YANG data modules"

*         Page 7

o   2.1 Overview

*  None of the arrows with Ds appear to be double-headed and not all of the
arrows with Cs

*  Since lower down we have "ECA Policy Rule Information Data Model
(EPRIM):" for consistency should we not also have "Generic Policy
Information Model (GPIM):"?

*  "query, and implementation languages, and protocol" (appears twice) -
should that be "query, and implementation languages, and protocol"?

*  "policy rules for that are" - should that be ""policy rules for that
are"?

*  "dependent of" - should that be "independent of" or "dependent on"?

*  "policy rules derived from EPRIM, consist" - should that be "policy
rules, derived from EPRIM, that consist"?

*         Page 8

o   2.1 Overview

*  "Relationship among Policy, Service and Resource" (appears twice) -
should that be "Relationship between Policy, Service and Resource"?

*  Should the caption for Figure 3 end with "models"?

o   2.2 Operation

*  "the goals to achieve" - would "the goals to be achieved" be better?

*         Page 9

o   2.3 The GPIM and the EPRIM

*  The structure of this section feels a little odd. Item (1) appears to
repeat a little of what is in the first two paragraphs and I wonder whether
the section would be better structured if those two paragraphs were
incorporated into item (1).

*         Page 10

o   2.4 Creation of Generic YANG Modules

*  "the addition of new, as well as editing of existing model elements" -
should that be "the addition of new, as well as the editing of existing
model elements"?

o   Pagination fails on the PDF version of this Internet-Draft. Is this page
too long?

 

Jonathan

 

 

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Supa [mailto:[e-mail]] On Behalf Of internet-

> [e-mail]

> Sent: 30 August 2016 04:11

> To: [e-mail]

> Cc: [e-mail]

> Subject: [Supa] I-D Action: draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-

> framework-00.txt

> 

> 

> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
directories.

> This draft is a work item of the Simplified Use of Policy Abstractions of
the

> IETF.

> 

>         Title           : SUPA policy-based management framework

>         Authors         : Will(Shucheng) Liu

>                           John Strassner

>                           Georgios Karagiannis

>                           Maxim Klyus

>                           Jun Bi

>                           Chongfeng Xie

>             Filename        : draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-

> framework-00.txt

>             Pages           : 14

>             Date            : 2016-08-29

> 

> Abstract:

>    Simplified Use of Policy Abstractions (SUPA) defines base YANG data

>    models to encode policy, which will point to device-, technology-,

>    and service-specific YANG models developed in other working groups.

>    Policy rules within an operator's environment can be used to express

>    high-level, possibly network-wide policies to a network management

>    function (within a controller, an orchestrator, or a network element).

>    The network management function can then control the configuration

>    and/or monitoring of network elements and services. This document

>    describes the SUPA basic framework, its elements and interfaces.

> 

> 

> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:

>
<https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-fr
amework/>
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-

 
<https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-fr
amework/> > framework/

> 

> There's also a htmlized version available at:

>
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-framewo
rk-00> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-

 
<https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-supa-policy-based-management-framewo
rk-00> > framework-00

> 

> 

> Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of
submission

> until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org.

> 

> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:

>  <ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/

> 

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