[tsvwg] Erik Kline's Yes on draft-ietf-tsvwg-transport-encrypt-20: (with COMMENT)

Erik Kline via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> Mon, 05 April 2021 18:04 UTC

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From: Erik Kline via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org>
To: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>
Cc: draft-ietf-tsvwg-transport-encrypt@ietf.org, tsvwg-chairs@ietf.org, tsvwg@ietf.org, David Black <david.black@dell.com>, david.black@dell.com
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Date: Mon, 05 Apr 2021 11:04:19 -0700
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Subject: [tsvwg] Erik Kline's Yes on draft-ietf-tsvwg-transport-encrypt-20: (with COMMENT)

Erik Kline has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-tsvwg-transport-encrypt-20: Yes

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The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
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COMMENT:
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Just nits.

[ section 1 ]

* "Current uses of transport header information in the network are
   explained, which can be beneficial or malicious."

  I suppose it's the "uses of..." that might be seen as beneficial or
  malicious, but I briefly read it as the explanation that was beneficial
  or malicious.

  ;-)

[ section 2 ]

* "provide information can support" ->
  "provide information that can support"?

[ section 2.2.1 ]

* "inferred from a measure the variation" ->
  "inferred from a measure of the variation", perhaps

[ section 2.2.2 ]

* "that they does not recognise" -> "that they do not recognise"

[ section 2.3.4 ]

* "the network the path" -> "the network path"

[ section 2.3.6 ]

* "A variety and open source and proprietary tools" ->
  "A variety of open source and proprietary tools"

[ section 2.4 ]

* "to cause the header compression to a fall back" ->
  "to cause the header compression to fall back"

[ section 3 ]

* "provides data need to" -> "provides data needed to"?

[ section 4 ]

* "In some case," -> "In some cases,", I think

[ section 6.1 ]

* "part of encapsulation protocol" ->
  "part of the encapsulation protocol", perhaps

[ section 7 ]

* "make informed choice" -> "make informed choices"?

[tsvwg] Erik Kline's Yes on draft-ietf-tsvwg-tran… Erik Kline via Datatracker