[tsvwg] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-tsvwg-l4s-arch-19: (with COMMENT)

[Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[e-mail]>]

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-tsvwg-l4s-arch-19: No Objection

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COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-l4s-arch-19

CC @larseggert

## Comments

### "Abstract", paragraph 0
```
  Abstract
```
Does the abstract really need to be this long?

### Section 3, paragraph 1
```
     Note: The following definitions are copied from the L4S ECN
     spec [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id] for convenience.  If there are
     accidental differences, those in [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id] take
     precedence.
```
Please instruct the RFC Editor to copy in the definitions from
[I-D.ietf-tsvwg-ecn-l4s-id] during production and to remove the note above.

## Nits

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool) so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

### Outdated references

Reference `[RFC7540]` to `RFC7540`, which was obsoleted by `RFC9113` (this may
be on purpose).

Reference `[RFC4960]` to `RFC4960`, which was obsoleted by `RFC9260` (this may
be on purpose).

### URLs

These URLs in the document did not return content:

 * https://www.bell-labs.com/usr/koen.de_schepper

These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:

 * http://doi.acm.org/10.1145/2663716.2663730
 *
 http://www.cablelabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Active_Queue_Management_Algorithms_DOCSIS_3_0.pdf
 * http://bobbriscoe.net/ * http://dl.acm.org/citation.cfm?doid=2910017.2910633
 * http://ee.lbl.gov/papers/congavoid.pdf * http://www.it.uc3m.es

### Grammar/style

#### Section 1, paragraph 8
```
architecture is, rather than why. Finally Section 5 justifies why each eleme
                                  ^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Finally".

#### Section 1.1, paragraph 1
```
he document ends with the usual tail pieces, including extensive discussion
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^
```
The word "tailpieces" is spelled as one word.

#### Section 2, paragraph 2
```
es in Section 5.1 and [RFC3649]. Therefore control of queuing and utilizatio
                                 ^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Therefore".

#### Section 3, paragraph 4
```
(e.g. DNS, VoIP, game sync datagrams, etc). Reno-friendly: The subset of Clas
                                      ^^^
```
A period is needed after the abbreviation "etc.".

#### Section 3, paragraph 9
```
ueue protection in this document. Otherwise the term rate policing is used.
                                  ^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Otherwise".

#### Section 4.2, paragraph 8
```
o ECT(1) packets [FQ_CoDel_Thresh]. Then if there is a flow of non-ECN or ECT
                                    ^^^^
```
Consider adding a comma here.

#### Section 4.2, paragraph 11
```
 equalize flow-rates (perhaps in a similar way to Approx Fair CoDel [AFCD],
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb "similarly" to avoid wordiness.

#### Section 4.2, paragraph 13
```
nd QUIC transports, amongst others. Also an L4S variant of the RMCAT SCReAM c
                                    ^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Also".

#### Section 4.3, paragraph 2
```
 more explicit signals can be applied so the queue can be kept short whatever
                                     ^^^
```
Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are
closely connected and short).

#### Section 4.3, paragraph 3
```
doesn't know the round trip times of any of the flows. So if the network is
                                  ^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider simply using "of" instead.

#### Section 4.3, paragraph 3
```
e Classic approach), it has to assume a worst case RTT, otherwise long RTT fl
                                      ^
```
Use "the" before the superlative.

#### Section 5.1, paragraph 5
```
s the recovery time is 24.3 s. In contrast a scalable congestion control like
                                  ^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "contrast".

#### Section 5.2, paragraph 6
```
ll treats ECN and drop the same. Therefore ABE exploits any lower queuing de
                                 ^^^^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Therefore".

#### Section 5.2, paragraph 6
```
rt-up phase. L4S complements BBR. Indeed BBRv2 can use L4S ECN where availab
                                  ^^^^^^
```
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Indeed".

#### Section 5.2, paragraph 11
```
displayed a viewport taken from a 360 degree camera in a racing car. The user
                                  ^^^^^^^^^^
```
When "360-degree" is used as a modifier, it is usually spelled with a hyphen.

#### Section 5.2, paragraph 17
```
 packets while building each burst. WiFi, PON and cable all involve such pack
                                    ^^^^
```
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi
Alliance.).

#### Section 6.1, paragraph 1
```
ifically: * Radio links (cellular, WiFi, satellite) that are distant from th
                                   ^^^^
```
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi
Alliance.).

#### Section 6.2, paragraph 12
```
ould often next be needed where the WiFi links in a home sometimes become th
                                    ^^^^
```
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi
Alliance.).

#### Section 6.4.1, paragraph 6
```
stream bottlenecks in one go ---whether or not all the origin servers were up
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you
mean "regardless of whether".

#### Section 6.4.2, paragraph 1
```
ll clients that support AccECN (whether or not they support L4S as well). And
                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you
mean "regardless of whether".

#### Section 6.4.2, paragraph 14
```
 how operators can use an additional local classifiers (see section 5.4 of th
                       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
The plural noun "classifiers" cannot be used with the article "an". Did you
mean "an additional local classifier" or "additional local classifiers"?

#### Section 6.4.3, paragraph 8
```
yments of new bursty malware, in a similar way to how traffic from flooding
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb "similarly" to avoid wordiness.

#### Section 6.4.4, paragraph 1
```
 distributed across a subnet inter-communicating using lower layer control me
                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
This word is normally spelled as one.

#### Section 8.1, paragraph 1
```
re, which works without them (in a similar way to how the Internet works wit
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb "similarly" to avoid wordiness.

#### Section 8.2, paragraph 7
```
TCP BBR v2 Alpha/Preview Release", github repository; Linux congestion contr
                                   ^^^^^^
```
The official name of this software platform is spelled GitHub.

#### Section 9, paragraph 7
```
net: Understanding and Solutions", Masters Thesis; Karlstad Uni, Dept of Math
                                   ^^^^^^^
```
For an academic degree, use "Master's".

#### Section 9, paragraph 28
```
[SCReAM] Johansson, I., "SCReAM", github repository; , <https://github.com/Er
                                  ^^^^^^
```
The official name of this software platform is spelled GitHub.

#### Section 9, paragraph 29
```
ng for 4G in a network simulator", Masters Thesis, Uni Oslo , June 2019. Ack
                                   ^^^^^^^
```
For an academic degree, use "Master's".

## Notes

This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].

[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool