[tsvwg] Editorial review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-aqm-dualq-coupled-08

[David Pullen <[e-mail]>]

Hi Bob,

Apologies if I'm doing this wrong, this is my first time providing input on
an IETF draft.

I am reviewing the draft-ietf-tsvwg-aqm-dualq-coupled-08 document (
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-tsvwg-aqm-dualq-coupled-08). These
are purely editorial comments/suggestions. I will send separate emails for
technical discussions.

In Section 2.1:

*   smoothing in the network, because it delays all signals for a worst- *I
recommend changing "it delays" to "smoothing delays". At first glance, "it"
seems to refer to L4S.

*   themselves, so they expect the network to generate ECN marks with a*

I recommend changing "so" to "thus"; minor improvement in readability.

In Section 2.2:

*   and it is scheduled with priority over Classic.  Priority is*
I recommend changing "over Classic" to "over Classic traffic".

In Section 2.3:

*   additional packet types into the L queue, that are deemed not to risk*
I recommend changing "that are" to "which are".

*   Note that the mechanism only reads these classifiers, it MUST NOT re-*
Should "classifiers" be "identifiers"?

In Section 2.4:

*   Both AQMs regulate their queue in units of time not bytes.  As*
I recommend changing "not bytes" to "rather than bytes".

*   AQMs, as long as the normative requirements (those expressed in
  capitals) in Section 2.5 are observed.*
Is it necessary to state "(those expressed in capitals)"? Isn't the meaning
of "normative requirements" defined previously?

In Section 2.5.1:

*   flow rates at any times when all flows are Classic or all L4S, and it*
I recommend changing "all L4S" to "all flows are L4S".

In Section 2.5.2:

*   DualQ Couple AQM is to enable deployment and coexistence of scalable*

I recommend changing "Couple" to "Coupled".

Thanks,
  - Dave

David Pullen
Distinguished Engineer  |  Wired Networking, Cable Modems
Broadcom

office: 678.475.3143  |  mobile: [phone]  |  fax: [phone]
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