Re: [auth48] *[AD] Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9403 <draft-ietf-rtgwg-yang-rib-extend-24> (was -22) for your review

[James Guichard <[e-mail]>]

Hi Lynne,

For the questions marked [AD] I approve and agree with the authors comments.

Jim

-----Original Message-----
From: Lynne Bartholomew <[e-mail]>
Sent: Wednesday, November 1, 2023 2:07 PM
To: Acee Lindem <[e-mail]>; Yingzhen Qu <[e-mail]>; James Guichard <[e-mail]>
Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail]; Jeff Tantsura <[e-mail]>; auth48archive <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]
Subject: *[AD] Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9403 <draft-ietf-rtgwg-yang-rib-extend-24> (was -22) for your review

Dear authors and *AD (Jim),

We have updated the edited (AUTH48) copy of this document per the updates from version -22 to version -24 (https://author-tools.ietf.org/iddiff?url1=draft-ietf-rtgwg-yang-rib-extend-22&url2=draft-ietf-rtgwg-yang-rib-extend-24&difftype=--html) and made a few editorial updates as needed.

Please review our updates carefully, and let us know if anything (particularly in the YANG module) is incorrect.

* Jim, there are four questions below for you, marked "*[AD]".  Please review, and let us know if you approve.

Our updated list of questions is as follows.  Please review, and let us know how this document should be further updated:

1) <!-- [rfced] Would you like the style of the document title to more closely match that of other YANG RFCs?

Please note that for now we updated the title for this document, as listed in Section 5, to match the current first-page document title.

Original title:
 RIB Extension YANG Data Model

Original from the module in Section 5:         reference
         "RFC XXXX: A YANG Data Model for RIB Extensions.";

Suggested (as originally cited in Section 5; we would revert the
  change in Section 5 to match)):
 A YANG Data Model for RIB Extensions -->


2) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in the
title) for use on <https://www.rfc-editor.org/search>. -->


3) <!-- [rfced] Section 3:  Because only one ietf-routing YANG module is defined in [RFC8349], we changed "modules" to "module" in this sentence, per "the ietf-routing YANG module [RFC8349]" in Section 1.
If this is incorrect, please provide clarifying text (e.g., perhaps all three relevant modules from RFC 8349 should be listed here and in Section 1?).

Original:
 The YANG module defined in this document augments the ietf-routing  YANG modules defined in [RFC8349], which provide a basis for routing  system data model development.

Currently:
 The YANG module defined in this document augments the ietf-routing  YANG module defined in [RFC8349], which provides a basis for routing  system data model development. -->


4) <!-- [rfced] Sections 3 and 5:  We have received guidance from Benoit Claise and the YANG Doctors that "YANG module" and "YANG data model" are preferred.  We have updated the text to use these forms.  Please review, and let us know any concerns.

Original:
 Together with YANG modules defined in
 [RFC8349], a generic RIB YANG model is defined to implement and  monitor a RIB.
...
5.  RIB Extension YANG Model
...
 description
    "This augmentation is only valid for routes whose
     source protocol is not OSPF or IS-IS since their YANG
     models already include a 'metric' augmentation for
     routes.";
...
 description
   "This augmentation is only valid for routes whose
    source protocol is not OSPF or IS-IS since their YANG
    models already include a 'tag' augmentation for
    routes.";

Currently:
 Together with the ietf-routing YANG
 module and other YANG modules defined in [RFC8349], a generic RIB  YANG data model is defined herein to implement and monitor a RIB.
...
5.  RIB Extension YANG Module
...
 description
   "This augmentation is only valid for routes whose
    source protocol is not OSPF or IS-IS, since their YANG
    data models already include a 'metric' augmentation for
    routes.";
...
 description
   "This augmentation is only valid for routes whose
    source protocol is not OSPF or IS-IS, since their YANG
    data models already include a 'tag' augmentation for
    routes."; -->


5) <!-- [rfced] Section 3.1:  We could not parse this sentence.
If the suggested text is not correct, please provide clarifying text.

Original:
 The following tree snapshot shows tag and preference which augment  static IPv4 unicast routes and IPv6 unicast routes next-hop.

Suggested:
 The following tree snapshot shows tag and preference entries that  augment static IPv4 unicast route and IPv6 unicast route next hops. -->


6) <!-- [rfced] Section 5:  Per common practice in YANG documents, we added the following introductory paragraph just prior to the YANG module.

This also accounts for the addition of RFCs 9129 and 9130 as references in the latest version of this document.

Please let us know any objections.

Original:
 5. RIB Extension YANG Model

   <CODE BEGINS> file "[e-mail]"

Currently:
 5.  RIB Extension YANG Module

    This YANG module references [RFC6991], [RFC8343], [RFC8349],
    [RFC9129], [RFC9130], and [RFC5714].

    <CODE BEGINS> file "[e-mail]" -->


7) <!-- [rfced] Section 5:  As it appears that a lower preference value is preferable, we updated this sentence (4 instances) as follows.
If this is not correct, please provide clarifying text.

Original:
 Routes with a lower preference next-hop are  preferred and equal preference routes result in  Equal-Cost-Multi-Path (ECMP) static routes.

Currently (first instance; "ECMP" used thereafter):
 Routes with a lower next-hop preference value  are preferred, and equal-preference routes result in  Equal-Cost Multi-Path (ECMP) static routes. -->


8) <!-- [rfced] Authors and *[AD]:  Section 6:  We see "RPC (Remote Procedure Call) operation" in Section 2 but do not see any other mention of RPC operations in this document.  Please confirm that the "Some of the RPC operations" paragraph as listed on <https://wiki.ietf.org/group/ops/yang-security-guidelines> is not applicable to this document (and if it isn't applicable, is the "RPC (Remote Procedure Call) operation" listing in Section 2 still necessary?). -->


9) <!-- [rfced] *[AD]:  Per the latest updates to the YANG module in this document, we added RFCs 9129 and 9130 to the Normative References section.  Per our process, we need to ask for your approval regarding any changes to the Normative References list.  Please confirm that these additional Normative Reference listings are acceptable. -->


10) <!-- [rfced] Authors and *[AD]:  Appendix B:  Per <https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/formal-languages-use/>,
may we cite [W3C.REC-xml-20081126] ("Extensible Markup Language (XML)
1.0 (Fifth Edition)") here and list it as a Normative Reference, per RFC 8349?

Original:
 The following is an XML example using the RIB extension module and  RFC 8349.

Suggested:
 The following is an XML example [W3C.REC-xml-20081126] using the RIB  extension module and module data from RFC 8349.

Under Normative References:
 [W3C.REC-xml-20081126]
            Bray, T., Paoli, J., Sperberg-McQueen, M., Maler, E., and
            F. Yergeau, "Extensible Markup Language (XML) 1.0
            (Fifth Edition)", World Wide Web Consortium Recommendation
            REC-xml-20081126, November 2008,
            <https://www.w3.org/TR/xml/>. -->


11) <!-- [rfced] Appendix B:  Please review whether the note in this document should be in the <aside> element.  It is defined as "a container for content that is semantically less important or tangential to the content that surrounds it"
(https://authors.ietf.org/en/rfcxml-vocabulary#aside).

Original:
 Note: '\' line wrapping per [RFC8792]. -->


12) <!-- [rfced] Authors and *[AD]:  Appendix B:  Would you like to cite RFC 7951 ("JSON Encoding of Data Modeled with YANG") here and add a corresponding reference listing?  If yes, please let us know whether the listing should be Normative or Informative.

Original:
 The following is the same example using JSON format.

Possibly:
 The following is the same example using JSON format [RFC 7951].
...
 [RFC7951]  Lhotka, L., "JSON Encoding of Data Modeled with YANG",
            RFC 7951, DOI 10.17487/RFC7951, August 2016,
            <https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7951>. -->


13) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide at <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>,
and let us know if any changes are needed.

Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should still be reviewed as a best practice. -->


14) <!-- [rfced] The following term appears to be used inconsistently in this document.  Please let us know which form is preferred.

 ietf-rib-extensions / ietf-rib-extension
   (e.g., "in the ietf-rib-extensions.yang module",
    "urn:ietf:params:xml:ns:yang:ietf-rib-extension",
    "Appendix B.  ietf-rib-extension.yang example")

   * Please note that if the plural "extensions" is correct, we will
   update this document accordingly and also ask IANA to update their
   corresponding pages. -->

= = = = =

The latest files are posted here (please refresh your browser):

   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9403.txt
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9403.pdf
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   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9403-xmldiff1.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9403-xmldiff2.html

Thank you!

RFC Editor/lb


> On Oct 2, 2023, at 4:16 PM, [e-mail] wrote:
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*** Please see updated list above (1 Nov. 2023).

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> --------------------------------------
> RFC9403 (draft-ietf-rtgwg-yang-rib-extend-22)
>
> Title            : RIB Extension YANG Data Model
> Author(s)        : A. Lindem, Y. Qu
> WG Chair(s)      : Jeff Tantsura, Yingzhen Qu
> Area Director(s) : Alvaro Retana, John Scudder, Andrew Alston
>
>