Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9560 <draft-ietf-regext-rdap-openid-27> for your review

["Hollenbeck, Scott" <[e-mail]>]

I'm currently taking a few vacation days. I'll get to this early next week. Thanks for your patience.

Scott

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Sarah Tarrant <[e-mail]>
> Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2024 3:35 PM
> To: Hollenbeck, Scott <[e-mail]>
> Cc: RFC Editor <[e-mail]>; [e-mail]; regext-
> [e-mail]; AlBanna, Zaid <[e-mail]>;
> [e-mail]; [e-mail]
> Subject: [EXTERNAL] Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9560 <draft-ietf-regext-rdap-
> openid-27> for your review
>
> Caution: This email originated from outside the organization. Do not click links
> or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and know the content is
> safe.
>
> Hi Scott,
>
> Thank you for your reply. We have updated the document accordingly. Please
> review the document carefully to ensure satisfaction as we do not make
> changes once it has been published as an RFC.
>
> We have one followup request:
>
> 1) Regarding:
> >> 7) <!-- [rfced] Should the following lines also appear within the
> >> <artwork> element to match the examples in Sections 5.2.1 and 5.2.2?
> >>
> >> Section 4.2.1:
> >>
> >> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1B-
> NRuvNpIpdUUCYnzYW05FoyqzxfFfAfvVWrC-b
> >> hkh7qHky-O22cthU6Xow9P80JbHKE-Ekz-
> RcPJ3WWqHdyEHdEcvXgK3s7TYajOLZ8fyX8
> >> uq0iicqG817FTfO3SdVtWscM1ZbQDERu5MYpAV-
> Vi_x8UXkUu4eI_0FFgmzLEnxKsqaqu
> >> bX7UG71lVoLO0uUruvgsVuyaSk0iWZ1hijun54C6Q6ooZ2-
> 0qYHc9m2Ke0ypMqj5--yrb
> >> bwAHfqQCr2rqabDgi3yyzofbKX1zZojBkJ1RrGEvvK-
> SLaXojQvaaOvf8DqNOIgoli-Pz
> >>
> 6edIF/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Fdomain%2Fexample.com
> %3Ffarv1
> >> _qp%3DlegalActions
> >>
> >>
> >> Section 4.2.2
> >>
> >> https://secure-web.cisco.com/16U7IPDKP3UxhhRN-
> a073_zDJ5bY2FNLfYdjdis8
> >> wZTD8GF8SZZUeu0D96BQA-
> E6aaxZPhIEFYBQu74MuElbs5oVQpvJEcGUxfEm_g5sVL8Xv
> >>
> HPBTonjXHgPvIxjA5eSFBrmVBBeqltVk4jcN7wwHnMAvifwd_Rx7vg2CaBG0m
> 4tj68nAO
> >> BSjhGd-
> 8vL9fefOwu7SvvpXPNDRqUbg3QsQqyUAdD6vnnLz4xdX2K4aJYQJPnUnsCjJV
> 0
> >> IMO8Xpjlv81oHFAFPbzjQupgQ2XPouftJdEA0O9U_AfzVn5-
> WpXKDgs_uPO4sLqm0FZzr
> >>
> rhN5E/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Fdomain%2Fexample.com
> %3Ffarv1
> >> _dnt%3Dtrue
> >>
> >> Section 5.2.1:
> >> https://secure-
> web.cisco.com/1Umih56NNSc3GnWgpsbfqfNHFvJvEHTUdkbgb4NIvb5MUm
> w1TscAa8DOHTPTB4BpU_OBZbu70etf_Oe30Bb6tNH3E8yFZN2wf-
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> _DNl7tvzR3kQQG-RM9dimI-
> 58XmUqk3m2stOdkkitsPtjDMZiP/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%
> 2Ffarv1_session%2Flogin
> >>   ...
> >>
> >> https://secure-
> web.cisco.com/1Umih56NNSc3GnWgpsbfqfNHFvJvEHTUdkbgb4NI
> >>
> vb5MUmw1TscAa8DOHTPTB4BpU_OBZbu70etf_Oe30Bb6tNH3E8yFZN2wf-
> qym7hCpRIEc
> >>
> 7aREk7T_X2L7vdIqJUwpnTo4kscpsXIF6Pc9TZ8ZxAHLBpKyIjn3f4GMRaD0YlBK
> TnH4X
> >> 8eqTlbyp3cu_bTNsHPfFyOaMCimZ9D-
> f8Iiz9wGAn_kCgfqrAQ_W8gbn7oAfjVhG6bOU7
> >> 3iw3CX7GFuIuAav7ZaDgqxz8_DNl7tvzR3kQQG-RM9dimI-
> 58XmUqk3m2stOdkkitsPtj
> >>
> DMZiP/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Flogin
> >>
> >> Section 5.3:
> >>
> >> https://secure-
> web.cisco.com/1We1qBVVLvm1sCCU_ZSmhkWGvqqBDElpUqYxatG_
> >>
> 0zf8JZBVZNWegJ7srVG7cxGdyfnA1adqIPdSPkvdzjFNJMwlGy8iLwA4ibw12hy
> rBocfE
> >> s5mvmJqCyS1M5Jx5dNyuLNSIKJ0rnuy2L-
> C_5A1k7fG9q2xdCjgnoHZC_66rWCT7S_SpQ
> >> 7V-Yt12EiXg11LnN-OOu-
> RpnuFXUALt5zJRSSOqxWlJ5kJFnNa9r6yJPDrSIKKGbcd13n
> >>
> G7jLeYbz40kwuxfuG3SwRmR20Kc1BMaE_3K0IMJMUFDNMuHbaAbIqqV1dG
> 14EWw-LjGj_
> >> N-
> BFv/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Fstatus
> >>
> >> Section 5.4:
> >>
> >> https://secure-
> web.cisco.com/1TVn4s0tg0ehAMhKu8n35TaVJv5Og1wp_P-MEs4M
> >> YyqXKkLuke-4w1a_wIZeYa-
> Um8gWkbk_rEu4AjVEimlCMAgGcDCQtVwb7c6W5kNLqkHgg
> >> qHSF_i4eZ3MvqqfliaBvLKBMI6R0hYYcY03Y66OMWcn53D4Sf-
> JUyGZqyTbDHNPzIkv-V
> >> cUb7bclq1ApG8RWrZmNLS_MzypmTIRb-tT7fl2_O4yubvNGJ-
> nu2CDD7N6zxU30qPCVW9
> >> k5X-
> imtYr5DlUCqypGON1RZJXlt9VXti2ALMQMZw7Ik_zdRu303e46d72Pv9wypup
> Rzvr
> >>
> 04Q3h/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Frefres
> h
> >>
> >> Section 5.5:
> >>
> >> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1xsm9_Dx5VG43f7oP6bKddPpPC9-
> oNfPvIe8aSS7
> >> r3j2wlGi7sfAbUq84NHAsABPcvMAi4cyG2c2Sbsu7RZnkfpk-
> n73JxWI2ynJ7mrkfU9fO
> >> RQOZ6Hb7OzUwBuJlnK4fTuCV2Fr7bX7tRYYz3Kdr3bZBjP8b-
> 1mCorhxWHJBmq1uGrfwV
> >> RGeKDXfggN-
> LyeyZsjuzJKuLtUl6Q0GGJ4ptpyx48QYTAmKNt1TL1QNd4KLiHGAqriLsW
> >> QDY-
> ES2eQ9oacBRZG199NaY1aa56gC8GA9EznzbnDQIIbDp3w5LJFg55y0BzlmBa1
> bs8z
> >>
> QNKll/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Flogout
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] I'd like to trust your judgment for each of these. They're all examples,
> and if it's preferable to mark them as artwork for display/font consistency
> purposes, that's fine with me.
>
> Please review our formatting of these lines as we updated them to artwork
> elements.
>
>
> The updated files have been posted here (please refresh):
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> Qp-R3yyLLmPOE1A/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc-
> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9560.xml
>
> The relevant diff files have been posted here (please refresh):
> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1rK_gNeYT4e2J9F4jyr9ob-AoDR-Lp-
> iB5mTeyXixMqAIXbeSeEJn1erHjRJ0-
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> editor.org%2Fauthors%2Frfc9560-auth48diff.html (AUTH48 changes only)
>
> Note that it may be necessary for you to refresh your browser to view the
> most recent version.
>
> For the AUTH48 status of this document, please see:
>  https://secure-web.cisco.com/1KTE2nE21cNEGM6fsZJd9M9L-8vreZvq-
> rIZBKNCQ85sqib8U1mgXoB1pbOfy1K8TKRV5-ZkI-
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> editor.org%2Fauth48%2Frfc9560
>
> Thank you,
> RFC Editor/st
>
>
> > On Apr 8, 2024, at 11:00 AM, Hollenbeck, Scott
> <shollenbeck=[e-mail]> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks for your suggestions and questions. I've added my replies below.
> >
> > Scott
> >
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: [e-mail] <[e-mail]>
> >> Sent: Friday, April 5, 2024 5:54 PM
> >> To: Hollenbeck, Scott <[e-mail]>
> >> Cc: [e-mail]; [e-mail];
> >> [e-mail]; AlBanna, Zaid <[e-mail]>;
> >> [e-mail]; [e-mail]
> >> Subject: [EXTERNAL] Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9560
> >> <draft-ietf-regext-rdap-
> >> openid-27> for your review
> >>
> >> Caution: This email originated from outside the organization. Do not
> >> click links or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and
> >> know the content is safe.
> >>
> >> Authors,
> >>
> >> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as
> >> necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
> >>
> >> 1) <!-- [rfced] To improve readability, would you like these
> >> sentences to be formatted more like a list?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   This document uses the terms "client" and "server" as defined by RDAP
> >>   [RFC7480].
> >>
> >>   This document uses the terms "Access Token", "Authorization Code",
> >>   "Authorization Endpoint", "Authorization Grant", "Client
> >>   Authentication", "Client Identifier", "Protected Resource", "Refresh
> >>   Token", "Resource Owner", "Resource Server", and "Token Endpoint"
> >>   defined by OAuth 2.0 [RFC6749]; the terms "Claim Name", "Claim
> >>   Value", and "JSON Web Token (JWT)" defined by JSON Web Token (JWT)
> >>   [RFC7519]; the terms "ID Token" and "UserInfo Endpoint" defined by
> >>   OpenID Connect Core 1.0 [OIDCC]; and the term "JWT Access Token"
> >>   defined by RFC 9068 [RFC9068].
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   This document uses the following terminology.
> >>
> >>   Terms defined by [RFC7480]:
> >>
> >>     *  client
> >>     *  server
> >>
> >>   Terms defined by [RFC6749]:
> >>
> >>     *  Access Token
> >>     *  Authorization Code
> >>     *  Authorization Endpoint
> >>     *  Authorization Grant
> >>     *  Client Authentication
> >>     *  Client Identifier
> >>     *  Protected Resource
> >>     *  Refresh Token
> >>     *  Resource Owner
> >>     *  Resource Server
> >>     *  Token Endpoint
> >>
> >>   Terms defined by [RFC7519]:
> >>
> >>     *  Claim Name
> >>     *  Claim Value
> >>     *  JSON Web Token (JWT)
> >>
> >>   Terms defined by [OIDCC]:
> >>
> >>     *  ID Token
> >>     *  UserInfo Endpoint
> >>
> >>   Term defined by [RFC9068]:
> >>
> >>     *  JWT Access Token
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] This is fine.
> >
> >> 2) <!--[rfced] As "capabilities" is plural, should "type" also be made plural?
> >> Note that this sentence occurs twice in Section 3.1.3.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   An RDAP client sends an RDAP "help" query to an RDAP server to
> >>   determine the type and capabilities of the OpenID Providers that
> >>   are used by the RDAP server.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   An RDAP client sends an RDAP "help" query to an RDAP server to
> >>   determine the types and capabilities of the OpenID Providers that
> >>   are used by the RDAP server.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, plural "types".
> >
> >> 3) <!-- [rfced] We suggest updating Sections 4.1 and 5.1.1 to use
> >> definition lists <dl> instead of ordered lists <ol> because each item
> >> is in the form of term and definition. Please let us know if this is acceptable.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, that's acceptable.
> >
> >> 4) <!-- [rfced] Please review each artwork element in the xml file.
> >> Specifically, should any artwork element be tagged as sourcecode or
> another element?
> >
> > [SAH] The artwork element was used to display sequence diagrams. It's not
> source code, so I think the artwork elements can be left as-is.
> >
> >> Additionally, please review the "type" attribute for the sourcecode
> >> elements in the XML file and let us know if any further changes are
> >> needed. If the current list of preferred values for "type"
> >> (https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1SmMZVHCsNzI2WXHLS9Cl7LwVjGvHr397vUhaBYl4EvM_QK
> >>
> 31oZNnJi85unYFsxF5vDlTwJVWMwZO5wdAeZlpbunA3g3AKgkMPAEVZRr4-
> >> aDUNSNvxerzmhLQP85lhU1iyz84mRwWnhVHwLyk5cluKlOoi9U6G-
> >> JzwQCyhTowXr_21b8f-nDKh1oOY1XOVFTp6Y-
> >>
> EqOytCw1309r8HQE3i2_edpt6vTYcw6cTVps0jQKdUtPKrrPB8BuuULaI4GL8iB
> >> k65o-vL-oFCWpZ49HbCP96r-
> >> KJD2fax0vo4j4Coxk/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fmaterials%2Fsourcecode-types.txt) does not contain an
> >> applicable type, then feel free to suggest a new one.  Also, it is
> >> acceptable to leave the "type" attribute not set.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] I didn't see any sourcecode elements in the XML file. "sourcecode"
> appears three times, and only in the comment above.
> >
> >> 5) <!-- [rfced] FYI - In Section 5.1, we updated the following
> >> paragraph to a definition list, which matches the definition list in
> >> Section 4.2. Please let us know if there are any objections.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   This specification describes two new data structures that are used to
> >>   return information to a session-oriented client: a "farv1_session"
> >>   data structure that contains information that describes an
> >>   established session, and a "farv1_deviceInfo" data structure that
> >>   contains information that describes an active attempt to establish a
> >>   session on a UI-constrained device.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   This specification describes two new data structures that are used to
> >>   return information to a session-oriented client:
> >>
> >>   "farv1_session":  A data structure that contains information that
> >>      describes an established session.
> >>   "farv1_deviceInfo":  A data structure that contains information that
> >>      describes an active attempt to establish a session on a UI-
> >>      constrained device.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] That's fine.
> >
> >> 6) <!-- [rfced] FYI - In Sections 5.2.1, 5.2.2, 5.2.4.1, and 5.2.4.2,
> >> we moved the instances of "NOTE:" regarding line wrapping into the
> >> artwork to match RFC 8792.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] That's fine.
> >
> >> 7) <!-- [rfced] Should the following lines also appear within the
> >> <artwork> element to match the examples in Sections 5.2.1 and 5.2.2?
> >>
> >> Section 4.2.1:
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1113pv331Ww1amx2sItr3suMCpJjoCeuz8QoSI9TMwdy5a2u
> >> eIqRp6-96pfn0Eq0ef6w7_ow74OFRt1p8dOcO7xXXjY62vZdecKS0SAAvNlI-
> >>
> U21me5RwjymI3V3qOr35uuqMINvYIJ3WFExWOfqcV9p986DFcEVHDrSQ7z
> >> wMX2iVPUYaN6Q_vvpPD2jAJqh-
> >> D8orkzmpv9xlUDoAL8XTewfXPqi4cIDWCL_BXcwEd5V7Y7-
> >> k4q226I7HKJT8ZDCHYMc4zgsxG8RnGkHRTLSv4t6-
> >>
> q8I3FBYRahIi9WQJx84/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Fdomain
> >> %2Fexample.com%3Ffarv1_qp%3DlegalActions
> >>
> >> Section 4.2.2
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1om323DtiaAEw0xP6n0YKzj5yKRrtGVVXUxwWGJu6biNEmCi
> >>
> zN1z2r2wtzk6ydH_v4415xqWURujVBZHRtizKO2PkXX5FQJ8AVumdHEUb6KR
> >> Uj_LWDrJayjgKuL4p6UXOy9-5Trrk92t4z3Y1rpe-
> >> lCHWQfAQpqGvxkxFMtCArr7yvcKSoWnG-
> >>
> wLvqzl0tQjdWQJRVIV35a6_Pz_EaG15Y6qS9hAu5EeWJNswmBEUTnWUI4wR
> >> Lk6284oeL1MQNNQb8WlGqgQ9lkiCVHo44Sx0NGB3gq-
> >>
> 4Roo7EHukBUw1660/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Fdomain%
> >> 2Fexample.com%3Ffarv1_dnt%3Dtrue
> >>
> >> Section 5.2.1:
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/16yAuvu8AN84mbw625w2O7XKgdR19Ll3JMnguOYzR2vuq
> >> M7U4NlGgYMFDAKZt6-wsysBluRAUpDsOxbJsyZIUKpPTm-
> >>
> 9xmG9h5AtAmrJ0zSxf17DFu0EkOiaajGHo6S5nf4zZBmQBPEudUcRsbgewqaX
> >> KHpeZFIDLe0w2Br-9sVeNKk_Snwn9iBjQXSl-
> >>
> 4MmRDTtoHd7AgKOfltzU8JFBqfWiC3urDgN8FwzzH94epvB0shpZPsS21DkLR
> >> phxEc4Rb_OU5BGam9as228MtiF1e5Z8sVm-PHMcg-
> >>
> lXa4tgrXw/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Flogi
> >> n
> >>   ...
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/16yAuvu8AN84mbw625w2O7XKgdR19Ll3JMnguOYzR2vuq
> >> M7U4NlGgYMFDAKZt6-wsysBluRAUpDsOxbJsyZIUKpPTm-
> >>
> 9xmG9h5AtAmrJ0zSxf17DFu0EkOiaajGHo6S5nf4zZBmQBPEudUcRsbgewqaX
> >> KHpeZFIDLe0w2Br-9sVeNKk_Snwn9iBjQXSl-
> >>
> 4MmRDTtoHd7AgKOfltzU8JFBqfWiC3urDgN8FwzzH94epvB0shpZPsS21DkLR
> >> phxEc4Rb_OU5BGam9as228MtiF1e5Z8sVm-PHMcg-
> >>
> lXa4tgrXw/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Flogi
> >> n
> >>
> >> Section 5.3:
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1dPdCKMspJLQEXvDjPdeIkRgQ4p8WZ7plWPdzNKvMs_e_h8E
> >>
> RMx4I0Cl5lue4S8zTgDLF1Xa1DUTVDECImGjjIMEzD8TSNn4jOUv9d_5I4K1O-
> >>
> b6IPLoKXXb509PA5iP8oSHUwS3kNWVXgDkVklyDq4pP14EC4R1NEELiWLhV7
> >>
> rw_poNoDQxlZ5UqXjMP803uaaNFyRFXRJN_kQtUG8hnWndImN7tjh6VoMV
> >> ei--b1-KxfqdRV62peojx2xEv-m-hr-cMwBYygIwOj20E2K4Ng-
> >>
> rMQcFO59eDa6V96f09Wg8/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffar
> >> v1_session%2Fstatus
> >>
> >> Section 5.4:
> >>   https://secure-web.cisco.com/1idPQJA-
> >>
> Hy84EM4kSnQM_1dONZ_mOkQimBuSiYQ2s3PoNPsmxYBD4RJUZoDGID1DB
> >> dMxJBDkOF-
> >>
> y2NgMWCpwVddWQNKLSGrGkkpocXefnA2ZfSadyUwD_I96dVqNBn2EGs1b
> >> QnAp8BkrMsG_jU7ZWhTGRZ-
> >>
> gEJe8_GbCJCwEK2kTXCQCHvhcBG7AQ2QtditgZxBhQSXLO6U1UaHrgL7Q_JKX
> >> -
> >>
> BnMevtzc8IpZ8bJbASKT2BUpML9P47IjqvL2xz4l_UG8rM9Q02jjcl9BeRL7HDN
> >> 7DcB3FQqwr-
> >>
> mNLoW8Bbs/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Fr
> >> efresh
> >>
> >> Section 5.5:
> >>   https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1j6nbaaJZIgxAdoev_dQn3krOPFky3QfwGCvFXCspP3Aphwab
> >> 1utQli7fGIFtx54QZMD4tMBC09rnDaUjMc-
> >> 5aLxkbr6stKPYkhhPLC7EhCaKOka3b1oW9c-
> >> SWOfnveEROZ1PZLhADbUEdNL2HGhb-
> >> EdkMNFg8LRGy12zsOhxxCjqUJkfpI7u1hpoxdbCpRgaGDB3-
> >> 8KI6Q3km7jy4YZbiqwzs96nrNjlVNiU5Tsiw69nMD0a8SopdQjzK-Pv_-
> >> 24JhgRdGnaxvaDE_HhnPcqfL6aGYV8FXPpiAc-
> >>
> _JzkEks/https%3A%2F%2Fexample.com%2Frdap%2Ffarv1_session%2Flogout
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] I'd like to trust your judgment for each of these. They're all examples,
> and if it's preferable to mark them as artwork for display/font consistency
> purposes, that's fine with me.
> >
> >> 8) <!-- [rfced] To match common usage, would you like to update
> >> "smart telephone"
> >> to "smartphone"?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   This method requires an End-User to use a
> >>   second device (such as a smart telephone) that has access to a web
> >>   browser for entry of a code sequence that is presented on the UI-
> >>   constrained device.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Sure, that's fine.
> >
> >> 9) <!--[rfced] Would using a list improve the readability of this text?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   The requests described in this document are typically performed in a
> >>   specific sequence: "farv1_session/login" (or the related
> >>   "farv1_session/device" and "farv1_session/devicepoll" requests) to
> >>   start a session, "farv1_session/status" and/or "farv1_session/
> >>   refresh" to manage a session, and "farv1_session/logout" to end a
> >>   session.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   The requests described in this document are typically performed in a
> >>   specific sequence:
> >>
> >>   1.  "farv1_session/login" (or the related "farv1_session/device" and
> >>       "farv1_session/devicepoll" requests) to start a session,
> >>
> >>   2. "farv1_session/status" and/or "farv1_session/refresh" to manage a
> >>      session, and
> >>
> >>   3. "farv1_session/logout" to end a session.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, that works.
> >
> >> 10) <!--[rfced] IANA Considerations
> >>
> >> A) Since the Value and Description columns are defined in Section 9.3
> >> for the "Registration Data Access Protocol (RDAP) Query Purpose Values"
> >> registry, should a definition for the Reference column also be
> >> included? And should "Reference: RFC 9560" be added to each entry to
> match the registry?
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, please.
> >
> >> B) To make the Description of domainNameControl more concise, may we
> >> update it as follows?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   Value: domainNameControl
> >>
> >>   Description: Tasks within the scope of this purpose include
> >>   creating and managing and monitoring a registrant's own domain
> >>   name, including creating the domain name, updating information
> >>   about the domain name, transferring the domain name, renewing the
> >>   domain name, deleting the domain name, maintaining a domain name
> >>   portfolio, and detecting fraudulent use of the Registrant's own
> >>   contact information.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   Value: domainNameControl
> >>
> >>   Description: Tasks within the scope of this purpose include, for a
> >>   registrant's own domain name, creating the domain name, updating
> >>   information about the domain name, transferring the domain name,
> >>   renewing the domain name, deleting the domain name, maintaining a
> >>   domain name portfolio, and detecting fraudulent use of the
> >>   registrant's own contact information.
> >
> > [SAH] Sure, that works. It differs from the definition found in the EWG
> report, though. Perhaps we should also change the text that describes the
> source of the values, changing "taken from" to "derived from" or "based on".
> >
> > OLD:
> > The set of initial values used to populate the registry as described
> > below are taken from the final report produced by the Expert Working
> > Group on gTLD Directory Services chartered by the Internet Corporation
> > for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)
> >
> > NEW:
> > The set of initial values used to populate the registry as described
> > below are derived from the final report produced by the Expert Working
> > Group on gTLD Directory Services chartered by the Internet Corporation
> > for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN)
> >
> >> C) To reflect the verbiage of other Descriptions in the "Registration
> >> Data Access Protocol (RDAP) Query Purpose Values" registry, may we
> >> update the Description of regulatoryAndContractEnforcement as follows?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   Value: regulatoryAndContractEnforcement
> >>
> >>   Description: Tasks within the scope of this purpose include tax
> >>   authority investigation of businesses with online presence,
> >>   Uniform Dispute Resolution Policy (UDRP) investigation,
> >>   contractual compliance investigation, and registration data escrow
> >>   audits.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   Value: regulatoryAndContractEnforcement
> >>
> >>   Description: Tasks within the scope of this purpose include
> >>   investigating the tax authority of businesses with online presences,
> >>   investigating Uniform Domain-Name Dispute-Resolution Policy (UDRP),
> >>   investigating contractual compliance, and registering data escrow
> >>   audits.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, as noted above.
> >
> >> 11) <!--[rfced] Instead of using a link, may we update this sentence
> >> to use a citation and add a reference entry to the Informative References
> section?
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   The set of initial values used to populate the registry as described
> >>   here are taken from the final report
> >>   (https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/15_7KMQ1muuBMyg88fsOKiXbzC1YP0hULXYkxdtakqMbgIjJ
> >> p-YA6ZzpDn0Y0fone3lxH1jpKNAi7Bm89CSebT8Jz-
> >> v40hlEM_g4HqMaL3IoGvBF87KO9ZTJsamgc-
> >> HwF6_muMSplS_8Vc8Yhhr2CGdwTn02HJ_YO-pk-
> >>
> hfFsQgOgazEiNGMBCxM0J6uuiCFEZTuFH4p52UpSIJ_BUshQtU36TNqKsFumv
> >>
> iilZuS3lKLfmhqrcmsxTWOQ3k7QUdTkETfUKreIn9FMGKkEuq3G_qF5hxHo1dQ
> >>
> ybhpCs5NVdCw/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.icann.org%2Fen%2Fsystem%2Ffiles
> >> %2Ffiles%2Ffinal-report-
> >>   06jun14-en.pdf) produced by the Expert Working Group on gTLD
> >>   Directory Services chartered by the Internet Corporation for Assigned
> >>   Names and Numbers (ICANN).
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   The set of initial values used to populate the registry as described
> >>   below are taken from the final report produced by the Expert Working
> >>   Group on gTLD Directory Services chartered by the Internet Corporation
> >>   for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) [gTLD].
> >>   ...
> >>   [gTLD]    Expert Working Group on gTLD Directory Services (EWG), "Final
> >>             Report from the Expert Working Group on gTLD Directory Services:
> >>      A Next-Generation Registration Directory Service (RDS)", June
> >>      2014, <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/15_7KMQ1muuBMyg88fsOKiXbzC1YP0hULXYkxdtakqMbgIjJ
> >> p-YA6ZzpDn0Y0fone3lxH1jpKNAi7Bm89CSebT8Jz-
> >> v40hlEM_g4HqMaL3IoGvBF87KO9ZTJsamgc-
> >> HwF6_muMSplS_8Vc8Yhhr2CGdwTn02HJ_YO-pk-
> >>
> hfFsQgOgazEiNGMBCxM0J6uuiCFEZTuFH4p52UpSIJ_BUshQtU36TNqKsFumv
> >>
> iilZuS3lKLfmhqrcmsxTWOQ3k7QUdTkETfUKreIn9FMGKkEuq3G_qF5hxHo1dQ
> >>
> ybhpCs5NVdCw/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.icann.org%2Fen%2Fsystem%2Ffiles
> >> %2Ffiles%2Ffinal-report-
> >>      06jun14-en.pdf>.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, as noted above.
> >
> >> 12) <!-- [rfced] References
> >>
> >> A) The following OpenID Connect references appear to have been
> >> superseded by 2023 versions. As we were unable to find URLs to the
> >> previous versions, we have updated them to reflect the most current
> versions.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   [OIDCC]    OpenID Foundation, "OpenID Connect Core incorporating
> >>              errata set 1", November 2014,
> >>              <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1j1jAbYtrpDW_cjsb8d1REltF3dUV0S_aPF06IbjmRFMNGz7hg
> >> hkBv2QkTL8zV1G3II8Y7rYmy8vkHLcbI-
> >> KrHg_tban0mgoD3ArBeeS8a_q8R5ldrcL26F8EAJ794eePy26-
> >>
> e2SOSdGC5NNljmWcUZVGj8CbxEV4le3b5b7RQwVObka76oLaDp9PdQjpECV
> >> _tlOA2T-
> >>
> ZxlGosrCpbgKbCmd70XoJZPDvFeMJl55WSpU8Vt_6_I_zhyssET6RwGvoo0ligZ
> >> R9v-
> >>
> SWpD5xko6ME1KpCtbwLyLijtv_VuJiBzI/https%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspe
> >> cs%2Fopenid-connect-core-1_0.html>.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   [OIDCC]    Sakimura, N., Bradley, J., Jones, M., de Medeiros, B., and
> >>              C. Mortimore, "OpenID Connect Core 1.0 incorporating
> >>              errata set 2", December 2023,
> >>              <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1j1jAbYtrpDW_cjsb8d1REltF3dUV0S_aPF06IbjmRFMNGz7hg
> >> hkBv2QkTL8zV1G3II8Y7rYmy8vkHLcbI-
> >> KrHg_tban0mgoD3ArBeeS8a_q8R5ldrcL26F8EAJ794eePy26-
> >>
> e2SOSdGC5NNljmWcUZVGj8CbxEV4le3b5b7RQwVObka76oLaDp9PdQjpECV
> >> _tlOA2T-
> >>
> ZxlGosrCpbgKbCmd70XoJZPDvFeMJl55WSpU8Vt_6_I_zhyssET6RwGvoo0ligZ
> >> R9v-
> >>
> SWpD5xko6ME1KpCtbwLyLijtv_VuJiBzI/https%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspe
> >> cs%2Fopenid-connect-core-1_0.html>.
> >> ...
> >> Original:
> >>   [OIDCD]    OpenID Foundation, "OpenID Connect Discovery 1.0
> >>              incorporating errata set 1", November 2014,
> >>              <https://secure-
> >> web.cisco.com/1mwliIUdewEEDtBi9G_tscxkHtmPkQFm6nBHjgd3ixXC-
> >> TBalT57OQDT-
> >>
> 9ydSvkU1S_DxFmPA1BnpsQtxZFhrirWQ7ObZ5JRamqUBvDxQ6HrXcF0wZ_fQ
> >> Gc3W8ZC0q3nGWXcTed4EYwF_F7-
> >>
> AWqhRMHki2BYYwK_z9zrrjKI57bWnO2oPCXa7n5pUXPGxCXaezNjnoTf7TE_l
> >> XpAbCf276zLQxHyW6Mm5FbkD_Q0VNlMBi6SxzFXuo-
> >>
> I5zAn6WwEEzw6N20B1bTWswXrb80xMZgfLOTDd3IJMLRrsFIKl6iM/https%3
> >> A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid-connect-discovery-
> >>              1_0.html>.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   [OIDCD]    Sakimura, N., Bradley, J., Jones, M., and E. Jay, "OpenID
> >>              Connect Discovery 1.0 incorporating errata set 2",
> >>              December 2023, <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1foVjwVGURxqOSSouI6iMZEbTCbAlkZLskB1ero3uM0FkjBJ8T
> >>
> BLMauKA4YYOGSLfGI5ZJ6rnxKCxaALugf6wk5f9wUvwCZU5A3Zc15BUsdDAO
> >> XPkh5E4ZU5yTNVerJM0sX8UmF_hQG5sp7FHPoFX3iRp2bBlEfOtoElKcZ3y-
> >>
> jGh7fBDFPjI5NyhMzji201YgzzrplEYQ5UPTWkhfPZFGP1ro1yxy24aOz6AAFI76
> >>
> 0XPpRT__Muu4XLI7gE6pNPaoeblQ_a0VzgwLdMVjcLZUWtQKs1BM8LXl8DYY
> >> AeiIDo/https%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid-connect-
> >>              discovery-1_0.html>.
> >> ...
> >> Original:
> >>   [OIDCR]    OpenID Foundation, "OpenID Connect Dynamic Client
> >>              Registration 1.0 incorporating errata set 1", November
> >>              2014, <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1foVjwVGURxqOSSouI6iMZEbTCbAlkZLskB1ero3uM0FkjBJ8T
> >>
> BLMauKA4YYOGSLfGI5ZJ6rnxKCxaALugf6wk5f9wUvwCZU5A3Zc15BUsdDAO
> >> XPkh5E4ZU5yTNVerJM0sX8UmF_hQG5sp7FHPoFX3iRp2bBlEfOtoElKcZ3y-
> >>
> jGh7fBDFPjI5NyhMzji201YgzzrplEYQ5UPTWkhfPZFGP1ro1yxy24aOz6AAFI76
> >>
> 0XPpRT__Muu4XLI7gE6pNPaoeblQ_a0VzgwLdMVjcLZUWtQKs1BM8LXl8DYY
> >> AeiIDo/https%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid-connect-
> >>              registration-1_0.html>.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   [OIDCR]    Sakimura, N., Bradley, J., and M. Jones, "OpenID Connect
> >>              Dynamic Client Registration 1.0 incorporating errata set
> >>              2", December 2023, <https://secure-
> >> web.cisco.com/1BgqlLr8mYHntx0CQL-
> >>
> 548Z19ntEk4GaRDvAThFUaCouk9Cdn6X1FlvhG0ApA15HoOJLinkyEXeaZXSCd
> >> XxWv-FSHNlzZGxtJhaynNGk-kuUrNG_Kin4ndHeLggDE4fsZryl5-
> >> jhBITg06zWfekW9kf-
> >> ZVskfDMGL8tRUOuZwDLyYdLVOW119aVIlw3BcRd9uRazoilk-
> >> jtiIz0pdZNKFmJG-Q-
> >>
> GY092waBpjU448s8nnRBUD3FarrAlUivIWjjmZPmcsalqDbniZmayJoZouefWK
> >> aAK65akwm7YXIzc-
> 2G4/https%3A%2F%2Fopenid.net%2Fspecs%2Fopenid-
> >>              connect-registration-1_0.html>.
> >
> > [SAH] Those are all fine. Those updates were published after the document
> was reviewed by the IESG.
> >
> >> B) As the "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" section is mentioned
> >> within the body of the document when [HTMLURL] is cited, we have
> >> updated the URL of this reference to link to the whole document
> >> rather than the specific section.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   [HTMLURL]  Web Hypertext Application Technology Working Group
> >>              (WHATWG), "URL (Living Standard)", September 2023,
> >>              <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1fcFtvLynBykC28ML19oHed0Q593AEcIVLh4z2t08TFyNPA2C
> >>
> 7Uya4REl4Wib4PSiaJ3ieNBO1q4QCDfKZt0tAqJrqcztRWZo4EX_CXfHOVhNEK
> >>
> Vdqm45GP6oQAhUp_wmIvmH3kQ0PpFyK4djtn0VffCjObOeqoxcp3D4fuvbt
> >>
> w738FJC97VwmOZMN4WjkX1BhmPFW0WAB0O00GuLSSJ4Gw9fnI5bA8gtL
> >> eHWIs58_TcLRRMJQReJBHbqmnkA-
> >>
> jaks4PYICHJc3zG58LbF9YErMJWhWDPejZVTSBfX_WnBbo/https%3A%2F%2F
> >> url.spec.whatwg.org%2F%23application%2Fx-www-form-
> >>              urlencoded>.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>
> >>   [HTMLURL]  WHATWG, "URL (Living Standard)", March 2024,
> >>              <https://secure-
> >> web.cisco.com/1FIyZHErwYvQfB9GqHd7V9igs79n9795A_gO6-
> >> V5pHiO21vHJ-
> >>
> Qb6k4FaFhmQOUGOoJQvIlGKeCaHI9pn7R_DyTWZsOtz0CxgDz4c7k6323DCS
> >>
> gLuflXZIRI9ytdUYnrt26tbKNSSEnMcNR7bg88hvwMie47brh4RKH1rzJcW4L40
> >> R1OJeqb3EpLAxoXQUicUEy5ZuE-pmEYtZ5RvGzq4bN-
> >>
> qfH61l419cyXPTwRrZHzKNgoZaaPDEYpxubZ1tCn0j8ACdKb0qIOZf3DCBfll8vx
> >> hiCYvxmkoCqjoVxFRXXM/https%3A%2F%2Furl.spec.whatwg.org%2F>.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] That's fine.
> >
> >> 13) <!-- [rfced] Throughout the text, when citing non-RFC section
> >> numbers, the formats somewhat vary. For simplicity, would you like to
> >> update all instances to the following format to match how RFCs are
> >> referenced? Note that we haven't included every example below.
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   the "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" section of
> >>   WHATWG URL Standard [HTMLURL]
> >>   ...
> >>   Section 5 of the OpenID Connect Core protocol [OIDCC]
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   Section "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" of
> >>   [HTMLURL]
> >>   ...
> >>   Section 5 of [OIDCC]
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, that's fine.
> >
> >> 14) <!-- [rfced] Terminology
> >>
> >> A) The following terms are capitalized in the text but are lowercase
> >> in the corresponding cited RFCs. Should these be made lowercase to
> >> match the corresponding RFCs?
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 6749:
> >>   Access Token
> >>   Authorization Code
> >>   Authorization Code Flow
> >>   Authorization Endpoint
> >>   Authorization Grant
> >>   Token Endpoint
> >>   Token Request
> >>   Token Response
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 6750:
> >>   "Bearer" authentication scheme
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 8628 and only hyphenated when in attributive
> >> position (i.e., when followed by a noun):
> >>  End User
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 9068:
> >>   JWT Access Token
> >>
> >> Additionally, should "Authorization Request" also be made lowercase
> >> to parallel usage in other previously published RFCs?
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, please be consistent with other RFCs.
> >
> >> B) The following terms appear to be used inconsistently throughout
> >> the document. Should they be made lowercase for consistency and to
> >> match the corresponding cited RFCs?
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 6749:
> >>   Client Authentication vs. client authentication
> >>   Client Identifier vs. client identifier
> >>   Protected Resource vs. protected resource
> >>   Refresh Token vs. refresh token
> >>   Resource Owner vs. resource owner
> >>   Resource Server vs. resource server
> >>
> >> Lowercase in RFC 6750:
> >>   "Authorization" header vs. authorization header
> >>
> >> Not consistently capitalized in RFC 7519:
> >>   Claim Value vs. claim value
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, please be consistent.
> >
> >> C) Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be used
> >> inconsistently. May we update to the version on the right to match
> >> more common usage?
> >>
> >>   Identity Provider > identity provider
> >>   issuer identifier > Issuer Identifier
> >>   RDAP Client > RDAP client
> >>   RDAP Server > RDAP server
> >>   End-User Identifier > end-user identifier
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, please match common use.
> >
> >> D) Might it be helpful to the reader to clarify the slash in cases
> >> like the following (i.e., does it stand for "and", "or", or
> >> "and/or")? Note that this appears in several places; the following is just an
> example.
> >>
> >> Original:
> >>   An RDAP server/RP needs to be able to map an End-User's identifier to
> >>   an OP.
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   An RDAP server or RP needs to be able to map an End-User's identifier
> >>   to an OP.
> >
> > [SAH] That’s fine.
> >
> >> E) We see "farv1" expanded two different ways. May we update both
> >> instances to the following to be consistent?
> >>
> >> Current:
> >>   Federated Authentication for RDAP version 1
> >>   ...
> >>   version 1 of a federated authentication method for RDAP
> >>
> >> Perhaps:
> >>   federated authentication method for RDAP version 1
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, that's fine.
> >
> >> F) FYI - To match the OpenID Connect Core 1.0 reference, we updated
> >> one instance of "ID token" to "ID Token". Please let us know if there
> >> is any objection.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] No objection.
> >
> >> 15) <!--[rfced] Acronyms
> >>
> >> A) FYI - We have added expansions for abbreviations upon first use
> >> per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review each
> >> expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness.
> >>
> >> Representational State Transfer (RESTful)
> >
> > [SAH] That's fine.
> >
> >> B) For the term "OpenID Provider", may we update the first instance
> >> to be "OpenID Provider (OP)" and all subsequent instance to "OP"?
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] Yes, that's fine.
> >
> >> 16) <!--[rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the
> >> online Style Guide <https://secure-
> >>
> web.cisco.com/1VMcTDIlJnnotcZuv_P4j8x8ITPnfdvnF4etNChbQ9ZDF1J4p7
> >> W2Jod45sBwOz5vqggmjCYV4a49lwGilAzD9Dam6rx6fXsBgMzYjDi56HJbIs-
> >> 7DQb1DRBAC1vd-
> >> 4LKGwKv3zO0Plpborkr4losGEF4zjRLBrLO9B71PCTpcwfgmBvTP4Zuk6D-
> >>
> oBoYJtVoTDmNBd2YLJBFv7RUuTk7v8wgS_8wjoBcy6AWjSGmztXSTEQQJzPdA
> >>
> B50nGoFZe3rPRBZ5d3MBPRVF0iJMMTzSmpXHYySQ8ByFZvBqAP4F1lc/https
> >> %3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc-
> >> editor.org%2Fstyleguide%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language>
> >> and let us know if any changes are needed.
> >>
> >> Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this
> >> should still be reviewed as a best practice.
> >> -->
> >
> > [SAH] I didn't see anything that required change.
> >
> > I didn't see anything else in my review of the RFC. Thanks again!
> >
> > Scott
>