Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-quic-applicability-18> for your review
Jean Mahoney <jmahoney@amsl.com> Thu, 22 September 2022 15:36 UTC
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To: Mirja Kuehlewind <mirja.kuehlewind@ericsson.com>, "Brian Trammell (IETF)" <ietf@trammell.ch>
Cc: "quic-ads@ietf.org" <quic-ads@ietf.org>, "quic-chairs@ietf.org" <quic-chairs@ietf.org>, "matt.joras@gmail.com" <matt.joras@gmail.com>, Zaheduzzaman Sarker <zaheduzzaman.sarker@ericsson.com>, "auth48archive@rfc-editor.org" <auth48archive@rfc-editor.org>
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From: Jean Mahoney <jmahoney@amsl.com>
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Subject: Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-quic-applicability-18> for your review
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Hi Mirja and Brian, We have updated the [QUIC-MANAGEABILITY] reference to point to RFC 9312: https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-lastrfcdiff.html Brian, We noticed that your affiliation is specified as the following. How may we make these consistent? RFC 9308: Google https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308.txt RFC 9312: Google Switzerland GmbH https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9312.txt Best regards, RFC Editor/jm On 9/22/22 8:35 AM, Mirja Kuehlewind wrote: > Hi Jean, > > yes, please publish these drafts together and update the reference accordingly. As you can see, I also just approved the updates to the manageability draft. > > Thanks! > Mirja > > > On 21.09.22, 22:59, "Jean Mahoney" <jmahoney@amsl.com> wrote: > > Hi Mirja, > > We have noted your approval on the AUTH48 status page: > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9308 > > We can now move this document forward in the publication process because > it does not have a normative reference to [QUIC-MANAGEABILITY], which is > currently listed as an I-D in the Informative References section. > > However, would you like to wait for RFC 9312 to complete AUTH48 so that > the [QUIC-MANAGEABILITY] reference can be updated to point to the RFC? > > Best regards, > Jean > > On 9/21/22 8:32 AM, Mirja Kuehlewind wrote: > > Hi Jean, > > > > thanks all changse look good to me! Thanks! > > > > Mirja > > > > > > > > On 21.09.22, 00:13, "Jean Mahoney" <jmahoney@amsl.com> wrote: > > > > Brian, > > > > Thank you for your response and your approval. We have noted your > > approval on the AUTH48 status page: > > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9308 > > > > We have updated the document with your feedback: > > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-lastrfcdiff.html (these > > changes side by side) > > > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308.txt > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308.pdf > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308.html > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308.xml > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-diff.html (all changes > > inline) > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-rfcdiff.html (all changes > > side by side) > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-auth48diff.html (all > > AUTH48 changes inline) > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-xmldiff1.html (XML > > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9308-xmldiff2.html > > > > Please note that we have updated the formatting and placement of the > > Contributors section (apologies for not catching that sooner). > > > > We'll await word from Mirja regarding other AUTH48 feedback and/or approval. > > > > Best regards, > > RFC Editor/jm > > > > On 9/20/22 2:14 PM, Brian Trammell (IETF) wrote: > > > Greetings, > > > > > > Replies inline > > > > > >> On 25 Aug 2022, at 20:21, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org wrote: > > >> > > >> Authors, > > >> > > >> While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file. > > >> > > >> 1) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in the > > >> title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. --> > > > QUIC, application protocol mapping, deployment > > > > > >> 2) <!-- [rfced] Section 2: FYI, we have expanded TAPS in the following: > > >> > > >> Original: > > >> The IETF TAPS specifications [I-D.ietf-taps-arch] describe a system > > >> with a common API for multiple protocols. > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> The IETF Transport Services (TAPS) specifications [TAPS-ARCH] describe > > >> a system with a common API for multiple protocols. > > >> --> > > > This edit is fine > > > > > >> 3) <!-- [rfced] Section 3.1: We're having difficulty parsing the following sentence. Does rewriting the last part of the sentence improve readability? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> In some cases, it might be sufficient to limit application data sent > > >> in 0-RTT to that which only causes actions at a server that are known > > >> to be free of lasting effect. > > >> > > >> Perhaps (clarifying that the data should not cause lasting effects): > > >> In some cases, it might be sufficient to limit the application data sent > > >> in 0-RTT to data that does not cause actions with lasting effects at a > > >> server. > > >> --> > > > The suggested edit is good. > > > > > >> 4) <!-- [rfced] Section 3.2: This is the one instance of "NAT address rebinding", whereas the other instances are simply "NAT rebinding". Please review these occurrences and let us know if/how they may be made consistent. > > >> > > >> Original: > > >> By using a connection ID, QUIC is designed to be robust to NAT address > > >> rebinding after a timeout. > > >> --> > > > Suggest cutting “address”: > > > > > > NEW: > > > > > > By using a connection ID, QUIC is designed to be robust to NAT > > > rebinding after a timeout. > > > > > >> 5) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.4: We found these sentences in the third paragraph difficult to parse because of the number of noun modifiers. > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> The size and rate of transport flow control credit updates can affect > > >> performance.... > > >> > > >> Some implementations might have independent transport-layer and > > >> application-layer receive buffers... > > >> > > >> However, a common flow control implementation technique is to extend > > >> credit... > > >> > > >> Perhaps (splitting apart the descriptions): > > >> The size and rate of updates to flow control credit can affect > > >> performance.... . > > >> > > >> Some implementations might have independent receive buffers at the > > >> transport layer and application layer.... > > >> > > >> However, a common implementation technique is to extend flow control > > >> credit... > > >> --> > > > All of these suggested edits are good. > > > > > >> 6) <!-- [rfced] Section 4.5: Are there some words missing in the example given in the following sentence? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> An application that uses QUIC and communicates a cumulative stream > > >> limit might require the connection to be closed before the limit is > > >> reached, e.g., to stop the server to perform scheduled maintenance. > > >> > > >> Perhaps (adding "in order"): > > >> An application that uses QUIC and communicates a cumulative stream > > >> limit might require the connection to be closed before the limit is > > >> reached, e.g., to stop the server in order to perform scheduled > > >> maintenance. > > >> --> > > > This suggested edit is good. > > > > > >> 7) <!-- [rfced] Section 5: We're having difficulty with the following sentence because we do not see "DATA frames" in RFC 9000. We do see MAX_DATA and MAX_STREAM_DATA frames, but Section 13 discusses STREAM frames. Also, should "packets ... frames" be "packets' ... frames"? Please let us know how we may update this sentence. > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> By default, many implementations will try to maximally pack QUIC > > >> packets DATA frames from one or more streams to minimize bandwidth > > >> consumption and computational costs (see Section 13 of [QUIC]). > > >> > > >> --> > > > I believe we misspelled “STREAM” here. > > > > > > NEW: > > > > > > By default, many implementations will try to pack STREAM frames from > > > from one or more streams into each QUIC packet, in order to minimize > > > bandwidth consumption and computational costs (see Section 13 of [QUIC]). > > > > > > > > >> 8) <!-- [rfced] Section 8: Does rewording the following sentence improve readability? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> For applications with a fallback to TCP that do not already have an > > >> alternate mapping to UDP, usually the registration (if necessary) and > > >> use of the UDP port number corresponding to the TCP port already > > >> registered for the application is appropriate. > > >> > > >> Perhaps (making "application" single, more clearly stating what is usually appropriate): > > >> For an application with a fallback to TCP that does not already have an > > >> alternate mapping to UDP, it is usually appropriate to register (if > > >> necessary) and use of the UDP port number corresponding to the TCP > > >> port already registered for the application. > > >> --> > > > NEW: > > > > > > For an application with a fallback to TCP that does not already have an > > > alternate mapping to UDP, it is usually appropriate to register (if > > > necessary) and use the UDP port number corresponding to the TCP > > > port already registered for the application. > > > > > > > > > (there’s a spurious “of”: “use of the UDP port…” -> “use the UDP port...”.) > > > > > > > > >> 9) <!-- [rfced] Section 8.1: Would you like to provide a reference for memcached? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> For example, these source ports are associated with > > >> applications known to be vulnerable to reflection attacks often due > > >> to server misconfiguration: > > >> > > >> * port 53 - DNS [RFC1034] > > >> > > >> * port 123 - NTP [RFC5905] > > >> > > >> * port 1900 - SSDP [SSDP] > > >> > > >> * port 5353 - mDNS [RFC6762] > > >> > > >> * port 11211 - memcached > > >> --> > > > Nope, the port is registered with IANA without reference. However, the service name is “memcache”, not “memcached”, so let’s reference by service name. > > > > > >> 10) <!-- [rfced] Section 11.2: FYI, we replaced the CID acronym, which is not used elsewhere, with "Connection ID" for clarity. Please let us know if there are any objections. > > >> > > >> Original: > > >> Analysis of the lifetimes of six-tuples (source and destination > > >> addresses as well as the migrated CID) may expose these links anyway. > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> Analysis of the lifetimes of 6-tuples (source and destination > > >> addresses as well as the migrated Connection ID) may expose these > > >> links anyway. > > >> --> > > > This edit is good. > > > > > >> 11) <!-- [rfced] Section 11.2: Does removing redundant wording improve the readability of the following? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> Conversely, in the opposite limit where every server handles multiple > > >> simultaneous migrations, even an exposed server mapping may be > > >> insufficient information. > > >> > > >> Perhaps: > > >> Conversely, when every server handles multiple > > >> simultaneous migrations, even an exposed server mapping may be > > >> insufficient information. > > >> --> > > > Yes, the suggested edit is good. > > > > > >> 12) <!-- [rfced] Section 11.3: RFC 5077 has been obsoleted by RFC 8446. How may we update the following cross reference? > > >> > > >> Original: > > >> Section 4 of [RFC5077] describes an example approach for constructing > > >> TLS resumption tickets that can be also applied for validation tokens, > > >> however, the use of more modern cryptographic algorithms is highly > > >> recommended. > > >> > > >> —> > > > I believe the right thing to do here is not to update the cross-reference, as we're pointing out that the > > > TLS session ticket example (removed from 8446 as far as I can tell) is useful guidance for building validation tokens. > > > > > > I would suggest some clarifying text here to note that we do, indeed, know that we're citing an obsolete RFC: > > > > > > NEW: > > > > > > The approach described in Section 4 of RFC5077 for constructing > > > TLS resumption tickets provides an example that can also be applied to > > > validation tokens. However, the use of more modern cryptographic algorithms > > > than those presented in this example is highly recommended. > > > > > >> 13) <!-- [rfced] Section 16: Does the following rewording improve the readability of the sentence? > > >> > > >> Current: > > >> This document has no actions for IANA; however, note that Section 8 > > >> recommends that application bindings to QUIC for applications using > > >> TCP register UDP ports analogous to their existing TCP registrations. > > >> > > >> Perhaps: > > >> This document has no actions for IANA; however, note that Section 8 > > >> recommends that an application that has already registered a TCP port > > >> but wants to specify QUIC as a transport should register a UDP port > > >> analogous to their existing TCP registration. > > >> --> > > > Yes, this edit is good. > > > > > >> 14) <!-- [rfced] Terminology: We have made the following updates throughout the text. Please let us know if any changes are necessary. > > >> > > >> a) The following terms were used inconsistently. We have chosen the latter form: > > >> > > >> four-tuple / 4-tuple > > >> five-tuple / 5-tuple > > >> six-tuple / 6-tuple > > >> application level / application layer > > >> transport level / transport layer > > >> Zero RTT / 0-RTT > > >> > > >> > > >> b) Although the following term was formatted consistently, we have updated it to match other RFCs: > > >> > > >> DiffServ / Diffserv (RFC 7657) > > >> --> > > > These edits are good. > > > > > > > > >> 15) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let us know if any changes are needed. > > >> --> > > > Inclusive language checks are integrated into the CI pipeline used to build the document, and have addressed issues flagged by that check from time to time. A final check of the document revealed no issues. > > > > > > > > > Modulo changes in this message, I approve this RFC for publication. > > > > > > Thanks, cheers, > > > > > > Brian > > > > > > > > >> Thank you. > > >> > > >> RFC Editor/st/jm > > >> > > >> > > >> On 8/25/22 1:17 PM, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org wrote: > > >> > > >> *****IMPORTANT***** > > >> > > >> Updated 2022/08/25 > > >> > > >> RFC Author(s): > > >> -------------- > > >> > > >> Instructions for Completing AUTH48 > > >> > > >> Your document has now entered AUTH48. 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Kühlewind, B. Trammell > > >> WG Chair(s) : Matt Joras, Lucas Pardue > > >> > > >> Area Director(s) : Martin Duke, Zaheduzzaman Sarker > > >
- [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-quic-… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Brian Trammell (IETF)
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Mirja Kuehlewind
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Mirja Kuehlewind
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Jean Mahoney
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Brian Trammell (IETF)
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9308 <draft-ietf-q… Jean Mahoney