Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-pim-null-register-packing-16> for your review
"Ananya Gopal (ananygop)" <ananygop@cisco.com> Tue, 12 September 2023 21:20 UTC
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From: "Ananya Gopal (ananygop)" <ananygop@cisco.com>
To: "rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org" <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>, "vkamath@vmware.com" <vkamath@vmware.com>, "Ramakrishnan Chokkanathapuram Sundaram (ramaksun)" <ramaksun@cisco.com>, "rbanthia@apstra.com" <rbanthia@apstra.com>
CC: "rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org" <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>, "pim-ads@ietf.org" <pim-ads@ietf.org>, "pim-chairs@ietf.org" <pim-chairs@ietf.org>, "mmcbride7@gmail.com" <mmcbride7@gmail.com>, "aretana.ietf@gmail.com" <aretana.ietf@gmail.com>, "auth48archive@rfc-editor.org" <auth48archive@rfc-editor.org>
Thread-Topic: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-pim-null-register-packing-16> for your review
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Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2023 21:20:39 +0000
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Subject: Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-pim-null-register-packing-16> for your review
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Hello RFC editors, The attached document has responses to all your comments. Thanks for your careful review. Thanks, Ananya From: rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org> Date: Tuesday, September 5, 2023 at 11:06 AM To: vkamath@vmware.com <vkamath@vmware.com>, Ramakrishnan Chokkanathapuram Sundaram (ramaksun) <ramaksun@cisco.com>, rbanthia@apstra.com <rbanthia@apstra.com>, Ananya Gopal (ananygop) <ananygop@cisco.com> Cc: rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org <rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org>, pim-ads@ietf.org <pim-ads@ietf.org>, pim-chairs@ietf.org <pim-chairs@ietf.org>, mmcbride7@gmail.com <mmcbride7@gmail.com>, aretana.ietf@gmail.com <aretana.ietf@gmail.com>, auth48archive@rfc-editor.org <auth48archive@rfc-editor.org> Subject: Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-pim-null-register-packing-16> for your review Authors, While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file. 1) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we updated "multiple Multicast source and group information" as follows to improve readability. Please let us know any objections. Original: This document defines a standard to send multiple Multicast source and group information in a single PIM message. Updated: This document defines a standard to send information about multiple multicast sources and groups in a single PIM message. --> 2) <!-- [rfced] Would updating this section title be helpful to readers? The original mentions "Packed Null-Register", but the text notes that the Packing Capability bit indicates the "ability of the RP to receive PIM Packed Null-Register messages and send PIM Packed Register-Stop messages". Original: 2. Packed Null-Register Packing Capability Perhaps: 2. Packing Capability for PIM Packed Null-Register and PIM Packed Register-Stop Messages Or: 2. Packing Capability --> 3) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that the P-bit is correctly placed in Figure 1. We ask because IANA has allocated flag bit 0. --> 4) <!-- [rfced] Please confirm that "Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761]" is correct here. We ask because that section describes the Register-Stop message format. Original: The fields in the PIM Packed Null-Register message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761], and the common header in [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis] --> 5) <!-- [rfced] Would it be helpful to update these sentences as follows to clarify which fields are defined in RFCs 7761 and 9436? Original: The fields in the PIM Register-Stop message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761], and the common header in [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis]. ... The fields in the PIM Packed Null-Register message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761], and the common header in [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis] ... The fields in the PIM Packed Register-Stop message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761], and the common header in [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis] Perhaps: The Group Address and Source Address fields in the PIM Register-Stop message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761]. The common header is defined in [RFC9436]. ... The Group Address and Source Address fields in the PIM Packed Null-Register message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761]. The common header is defined in [RFC9436]. ... The Group Address and Source Address fields in the PIM Packed Register-Stop message are defined in Section 4.9.4 of [RFC7761]. The common header is defined in [RFC9436]. --> 6) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we removed the citation to [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis] here as the value is not defined in that document. Original: Type, Subtype: The PIM Packed Null-Register Type value TBD2. [I-D.venaas-pim-rfc8736bis] Current: Type, Subtype: PIM Packed Null-Register (13.0). --> 7) <!-- [rfced] Should "until the length of" here be updated to "until the end of", "throughout the length of", or something similar? Original: After parsing the PIM common header, individual records are then parsed one by one until the length of the PIM Packed Null-Register message. ... After parsing the PIM common header, individual records are then parsed one by one until the length of the PIM Packed Register-Stop message. --> 8) <!-- [rfced] Please review "for all purposes" in these two sentences. Is this phrase needed? Or should it be updated for clarity? Original: Sending or receiving a PIM Packed Null-Register message is the equivalent, for all purposes, of sending or receiving an individual Null-Register message for each record represented in the PIM Packed Null-Register message. ... Sending or receiving a PIM Packed Register-Stop message is the equivalent, for all purposes, of sending or receiving an individual Null-Register message for each record represented in the PIM Packed Register-Stop. Perhaps: Sending or receiving a PIM Packed Null-Register message has the equivalent effect of sending or receiving an individual Null-Register message for each record represented in the PIM Packed Null-Register message. ... Sending or receiving a PIM Packed Register-Stop message has the equivalent effect of sending or receiving an individual Null-Register message for each record represented in the PIM Packed Register-Stop. --> 9) <!-- [rfced] Would you like the references to be alphabetized or left in their current order? --> 10) <!-- [rfced] FYI, we have added expansions for abbreviations upon first use per Section 3.6 of RFC 7322 ("RFC Style Guide"). Please review each expansion in the document carefully to ensure correctness. Also, would it be helpful to add these to the Terminology section? MSDP - Multicast Source Discovery Protocol PIM-SM - PIM Sparse Mode --> 11) <!-- [rfced] Terminology a) We see both "multicast" and "Multicast" used in the document. We updated to use the lowercase form. Please let us know any objections. b) We see the following forms used in the document. Would you like to update for consistency, or will readers understand that these are the same thing? PIM Null-Register messages vs. PIM Null-Registers PIM Register-Stop messages vs. PIM Register-Stops PIM Packed Null-Register messages vs. PIM Packed Null-Registers PIM Packed Register-Stop messages vs. PIM Packed Register-Stops --> 12) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let us know if any changes are needed. Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should still be reviewed as a best practice. --> Thank you. RFC Editor/st/rv On Sep 5, 2023, at 11:04 AM, rfc-editor@rfc-editor.org wrote: *****IMPORTANT***** Updated 2023/09/05 RFC Author(s): -------------- Instructions for Completing AUTH48 Your document has now entered AUTH48. Once it has been reviewed and approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC. 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- [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-pim-n… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… rfc-editor
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Ananya Gopal (ananygop)
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Sarah Tarrant
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Sarah Tarrant
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Ananya Gopal (ananygop)
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Vikas Kamath
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Sarah Tarrant
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Ramakrishnan Chokkanathapuram Sundaram (ramaksun)
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Raunak Banthia
- Re: [auth48] AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9465 <draft-ietf-p… Sarah Tarrant