Re: [bess] Éric Vyncke's Discuss on draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-aggregation-label-11: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

["Eric Vyncke (evyncke)" <[e-mail]>]

Thank you, let's wait until the shepherd updates his write-up, then I am clearing my DISCUSS

-éric

On 29/09/2023, 16:38, "Jeffrey (Zhaohui) Zhang" <[e-mail] <mailto:[e-mail]>> wrote:


Hi Eric,


Thanks for your thorough review.
I have submitted the -12 revision that fixes the reference error (and addresses comments from Erik Kline).


Jeffrey




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Subject: Éric Vyncke's Discuss on draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-aggregation-label-11: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)


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DISCUSS:
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# Éric Vyncke, INT AD, comments for
draft-ietf-bess-mvpn-evpn-aggregation-label-11


Thank you for the work put into this document.


Please find below two blocking DISCUSS points (easy to address), some non-blocking COMMENT points (but replies would be appreciated even if only for my own education), and some nits.


Special thanks to Stéphane Litkowski for the shepherd's detailed write-up including the WG consensus ***but it lacks*** the justification of the intended status.


I hope that this review helps to improve the document,


Regards,


-éric


# DISCUSS


As noted in https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.ietf.org/blog/handling-iesg-ballot-positions/__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!DjXuL1noCSa5WhUuS_bagMtl618K7y88Y_-qasDkUDNDfZ35V5l7ZaLNrjHA44aocSkdXbcTXkvFe6c$ <https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.ietf.org/blog/handling-iesg-ballot-positions/__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!DjXuL1noCSa5WhUuS_bagMtl618K7y88Y_-qasDkUDNDfZ35V5l7ZaLNrjHA44aocSkdXbcTXkvFe6c$> , a DISCUSS ballot is a request to have a discussion on the following topics:


## Shepherd write-up


The shepherd write-up includes `Martin Vigoureux is the responsible AD`.


The shepherd write-up includes `There is one IPR`, while data tracker has 2 IPR declarations. At least, the auto-generated IETF Last Call correctly listed the two IPR declarations.


The above parts are obviously outdated and MUST be updated.


This is not really a DISCUSS criteria, so I will change my ballot after the IESG formal telechat or after an update of the shepherd write-up (the earlier).


## Wrong reference to RFC5531


As indicated by idnits, there is a reference to RFC 5531 (it should probably be RFC 5331)




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COMMENT:
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# COMMENTS


## Abstract


Should the abstract qualify the VPN with layer-3 (for MVPN) and layer-2 (for
EVPN) ?


## Section 1


Should "SR" also be expanded ? Should RFC 8660 be a reference ?


## Section 2


`to transmit multicast traffic or BUM traffic` is somehow redundant as BUM includes multicast.


## Section 2.1


`At the present time` what about "In 2023, " ?


## Section 3.1


Please expand "EC" at first use (even if it can be guessed on the previous sentence).


Why this section use `to be defined by IANA`, while section 5 lists the IANA-assigned values ?


## Section 3.2


This I-D uses 'outside the scope of this document' twice. I am curious: is there any work in BESS WG for this ?


# NITS


## Section 1


s/Terminologies/Terminology/


s/Broadcast, Unknown *U*nicast, or Multicast (traffic)/Broadcast, Unknown *u*nicast, or Multicast (packet)/


s/sub set/subset/