Re: [Detnet] draft-ietf-detnet-yang approval

Hi Don,

Generally LGTM. A few minor points:

1. "Additional, arbitrary write operations could also enable an attacker to modify a network path …”

Did you mean something like “In addition, arbitrary write operations”, or “Also, arbitrary write operations”? As written it’s ambiguous/unclear.

2. "These nodes can reveal the flows identifiable characteristics of application flows.”

Maybe "These nodes can reveal identifiable characteristics of application flows.” (Cut “the flows”.) 

3. In Both places where you use “these nodes” I suggest “the above nodes” or “the preceding nodes”.

Thanks,

—John

> On Feb 22, 2024, at 12:49 PM, Don Fedyk <dfedyk@labn.net> wrote:
> 
> [External Email. Be cautious of content]
> 
> 
> Hi
> 
> I have updated the draft from comments and placed the update in DetNet GitHub. I've checked that the changes propagated through the text and the test files.
> 
> You can review the changes most easily by downloading the xml source file and running a diff through the auth tools.
> File
> https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://github.com/detnet-wg/draft-ietf-detnet-yang/blob/master/draft-ietf-detnet-yang-20.xml__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!FCXAQ35o73egTUaWgXp5iiPS10WPLviY1hTtd8EBV6faH79NbhSTammh_fYZicJlOABOKoPD3KA$
> 
> Tools:
> https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://author-tools.ietf.org/__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!FCXAQ35o73egTUaWgXp5iiPS10WPLviY1hTtd8EBV6faH79NbhSTammh_fYZicJlOABOaj_s1M0$
> 
> I will upload the final draft tomorrow if anyone would like to review the security section that is the main text change. Updated from Roman's suggestions.
> 
> Other changes:
> Next hops are identified by inet:ip-address not ip-address-no-zone. <- This was a bug.
> Member name-ref consistency:
> OLD
> |  +--ro member-app*
> |  +--ro member-service*
> |  +--ro member-fwd-sublayer*   |  +--ro member-fwd-sublayer*
> 
> 
> |  +--ro member-app-flow*
> |  +--ro member-svc-sublayer*
> |  +--ro member-fwd-sublayer*
> 
> Dates and numbers.
> 
> 
> Thanks
> Don
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Don Fedyk <dfedyk@labn.net>
> Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2024 1:49 PM
> To: John G. Scudder <jgs@bgp.nu>; draft-ietf-detnet-yang@ietf.org
> Subject: RE: draft-ietf-detnet-yang approval
> 
> Thanks John
> 
> I will update in a day or so and send a note where you can see the updated diffs before I post a revision.
> 
> Don
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: John G. Scudder <jgs@bgp.nu>
> Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2024 1:46 PM
> To: draft-ietf-detnet-yang@ietf.org
> Subject: draft-ietf-detnet-yang approval
> 
> Hi All,
> 
> Thanks to all your work on the draft, it sailed to easy approval at today’s IESG meeting. I see there are a number of review comments that should probably be integrated into one more revision before we send it to the RFC Editor, so I’ll be waiting for those.
> 
> Regards,
> 
> —John
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> https://urldefense.com/v3/__https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/detnet__;!!NEt6yMaO-gk!FCXAQ35o73egTUaWgXp5iiPS10WPLviY1hTtd8EBV6faH79NbhSTammh_fYZicJlOABOhVeuwJI$