[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt
Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Mon, 28 November 2011 14:58 UTC
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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:58:38 +0100
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Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt Reviewer: Francis Dupont Review Date: 20111124 IETF LC End Date: 20111130 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Ready Major issues: None Minor issues: None (at the exception of the space character isuse) Nits/editorial comments: First there is a real issue with the space character (a zillion of them are mssing in place they are required) in the document. I'll put a list in PS... - Header page 1: seng -> Seng - 1 page 4: .. -> . or ... - 1 page 4: open, standard -> open standard (or standard, open if 'open standard' is not the intended meaning) - 1 page 4: Multiple, similar -> Multiple similar - 1 page 4: in theory the CDN abbrev should be introduced - 1 page 5: and streaming control -> streaming control - 2 page 6: e.g. -> e.g., - 3.2 page 9 and 5.2 page 15: 3rd -> third - 3.3 page 9: for fixed Internet -> for the fixed Internet and to fixed Internet -> to the fixed Internet - 3.3 page 10: In the mobile networks -> In mobile networks - 3.3 pahe 10: Third, mobility issue. -> Third, mobility issue: - 3.4 page 10: settop boxes -> set-top boxes - 5.1 page 14: I don't like the term normalized - 5.3 page 16: setbox -> set-top box (or STB?) - 5.3 page 16 figure 4: STB -> set-top box (BTW there is enough place!) - 5.4 page 17: I can't understand the difference between super-nodes and super-peers - 5.4 page 17: as the peer in this section are phones and there is no phone-phone protocol for not technical reasons, of course there is no use case for the peer-peer protocol. - 5.5 page 17: When -> when - 5.5 page 17: in "To do this, it requests..." I don't know what is the "it" so I can't understand the paragraph (BTW cache nodes are in plural so they can be "they", not "it") - 5.5 page 17: needn't -> do not need Regards Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr PS: missing spaces: - Header: between initial and name, at the exception of the first author - Abstract: Peer_(P2P and Protocol_(PPSP) - Toc page 3 and 4 page 11: PPSP:_Standard - 1 page 4: * 2014_[Cisco] * PPstream [PPStream],_UUSee [UUSee]_and CNTV_[CNTV] * (e.g.,_AkamaiNetSession [Akamai], ChinaCache_[ChinaCache]) - 3.1 page 8: points._P2P - 3.2 page 8: vastly_the - 3.2 page 9: * UUSee_[UUSee], * RayV_[RayV] and Forcetech_[Forcetech]. * [RFC 5693]._However, * providers._On - 3.3 page 9: transmission_(esp. (BTW esp. -> especially) - 3.3 page 10: which_may - 4 page 11: peer-list_(potentially - 4 page 12: Figure 1._The - 5.3 page 16: With PPSP,_peers - 5.4 page 17 (extra space): P2Pstreaming ) is -> P2Pstreaming) is - 9 pages 22 and 23: * [VoD] Yan Huang et al,_Challenges, * applications,_http://labs.adobe.com/technologies/cirrus/ * Communications of the ACM,_Vol. 53,_No. 10, Pages 72-82. * Yong Liu et al,_"A survey * Applications,_Volume 1, * Number 1,_18-28,_Springer,_2008. * H. Jiang et al,_"Efficient * distribution services,_http://www.3gpp... * Network,_Jeonghun Noh et al,_MOBIMEDIA '09. * J. Peltotaloet al.,_"A real-time * (misplaced) Y. Huang et al,_"Challenges, * Communication Review,_38(4):375-388, 2008.
- Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-s… Francis Dupont
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