[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Mon, 28 November 2011 14:58 UTC

Return-Path: <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
X-Original-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 01F4521F8610 for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:58:46 -0800 (PST)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.599
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.599 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-2.599]
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([12.22.58.30]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 8W-SpKWOXYiI for <gen-art@ietfa.amsl.com>; Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:58:45 -0800 (PST)
Received: from givry.fdupont.fr (givry.fdupont.fr [IPv6:2001:41d0:1:6d55:211:5bff:fe98:d51e]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id DFDF621F8500 for <gen-art@ietf.org>; Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:58:39 -0800 (PST)
Received: from givry.fdupont.fr (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by givry.fdupont.fr (8.14.3/8.14.3) with ESMTP id pASEwcfr018098; Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:58:38 +0100 (CET) (envelope-from dupont@givry.fdupont.fr)
Message-Id: <201111281458.pASEwcfr018098@givry.fdupont.fr>
From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:58:38 +0100
Sender: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
Cc: draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement.all@tools.ietf.org
Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt
X-BeenThere: gen-art@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.12
Precedence: list
List-Id: "GEN-ART: General Area Review Team" <gen-art.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art>
List-Post: <mailto:gen-art@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art>, <mailto:gen-art-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:58:46 -0000

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on 
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at 
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ppsp-problem-statement-07.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20111124
IETF LC End Date: 20111130
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None (at the exception of the space character isuse)

Nits/editorial comments:
 First there is a real issue with the space character (a zillion of them
are mssing in place they are required) in the document. I'll put a list
in PS...

 - Header page 1: seng -> Seng

 - 1 page 4: .. -> . or ...

 - 1 page 4: open, standard -> open standard (or standard, open if
  'open standard' is not the intended meaning)

 - 1 page 4: Multiple, similar -> Multiple similar

 - 1 page 4: in theory the CDN abbrev should be introduced

 - 1 page 5: and streaming control -> streaming control

 - 2 page 6: e.g. -> e.g.,

 - 3.2 page 9 and 5.2 page 15: 3rd -> third

 - 3.3 page 9: for fixed Internet -> for the fixed Internet
  and to fixed Internet -> to the fixed Internet

 - 3.3 page 10: In the mobile networks -> In mobile networks

 - 3.3 pahe 10: Third, mobility issue. -> Third, mobility issue:

 - 3.4 page 10: settop boxes -> set-top boxes

 - 5.1 page 14: I don't like the term normalized

 - 5.3 page 16: setbox -> set-top box (or STB?)

 - 5.3 page 16 figure 4: STB -> set-top box (BTW there is enough place!)

 - 5.4 page 17: I can't understand the difference between super-nodes
  and super-peers

 - 5.4 page 17: as the peer in this section are phones and there is no
  phone-phone protocol for not technical reasons, of course there is
  no use case for the peer-peer protocol.

 - 5.5 page 17: When -> when

 - 5.5 page 17: in "To do this, it requests..." I don't know what is the
  "it" so I can't understand the paragraph (BTW cache nodes are in plural
  so they can be "they", not "it")

 - 5.5 page 17: needn't -> do not need

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr

PS: missing spaces:
 - Header: between initial and name, at the exception of the first author

 - Abstract: Peer_(P2P and Protocol_(PPSP)

 - Toc page 3 and 4 page 11: PPSP:_Standard

 - 1 page 4:
  * 2014_[Cisco]
  * PPstream [PPStream],_UUSee [UUSee]_and CNTV_[CNTV]
  * (e.g.,_AkamaiNetSession [Akamai], ChinaCache_[ChinaCache])

 - 3.1 page 8: points._P2P

 - 3.2 page 8: vastly_the

 - 3.2 page 9:
  * UUSee_[UUSee],
  * RayV_[RayV] and Forcetech_[Forcetech].
  * [RFC 5693]._However,
  * providers._On

 - 3.3 page 9: transmission_(esp. (BTW esp. -> especially)

 - 3.3 page 10: which_may

 - 4 page 11: peer-list_(potentially

 - 4 page 12: Figure 1._The

 - 5.3 page 16: With PPSP,_peers

 - 5.4 page 17 (extra space): P2Pstreaming ) is -> P2Pstreaming) is

 - 9 pages 22 and 23:
  * [VoD] Yan Huang et al,_Challenges,
  * applications,_http://labs.adobe.com/technologies/cirrus/
  * Communications of the ACM,_Vol. 53,_No. 10, Pages 72-82.
  * Yong Liu et al,_"A survey
  * Applications,_Volume 1,
  * Number 1,_18-28,_Springer,_2008.
  * H. Jiang et al,_"Efficient
  * distribution services,_http://www.3gpp...
  * Network,_Jeonghun Noh et al,_MOBIMEDIA '09.
  * J. Peltotaloet al.,_"A real-time
  * (misplaced) Y. Huang et al,_"Challenges,
  * Communication Review,_38(4):375-388, 2008.