Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
Randall Gellens <rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org> Fri, 06 January 2017 12:07 UTC
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Date: Fri, 06 Jan 2017 04:07:09 -0800
To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>, "draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
From: Randall Gellens <rg+ietf@randy.pensive.org>
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21
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Hi Meral, Thank you for your review, I appreciate it. Please see inline. At 12:11 AM +0000 1/6/17, Meral Shirazipour wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by > the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like > any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-ecrit-ecall-21 > Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour > Review Date: 2017-01-05 > IETF LC End Date: 2017-01-06 > IESG Telechat date: 2017-01-19 > > > Summary: This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC > but I have comments. > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > -I find the document could be clearer if put in context with other > documents related to the topic/if any. > -By eCall do we mean voice and video calls? (is emergency sms > another possibility?) The Introduction has text explaining that an eCall establishes a voice channel and carries vehicle data, but I added "providing a voice channel and transmission of data" earlier in the section to make this more clear. eCall does not use SMS. > > Nits/editorial comments: > -General: "next-generation eCall" and "NG-eCall" are both used. > Would be clearer to use only one. > -[Page 10], "PSAP interpets"--typo-->"PSAP interprets" > -[Page 13], "package to accomodate"--typo-->"package to accommodate" > -[Page 17], "how it it used"----->"how it is used" > -[Page 17], "when it is is required"----->"when it is required" > -[Page 18], "it is is required"----->"it is required" (two occurrences) > -[Page 18], "how it it used."----->"how it is used." (two occurrences) > -[Page 37], "Based on the the"---->"Based on the" > Thank you. -- Randall Gellens Opinions are personal; facts are suspect; I speak for myself only -------------- Randomly selected tag: --------------- The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well. --Joe Ancis
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-… Meral Shirazipour
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Randall Gellens
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-i… Meral Shirazipour