[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-opsec-ip-security-05

["Vijay K. Gurbani" <[e-mail]>]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-opsec-ip-security-05
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: Jan-03-2011
IETF LC End Date: Dec-12-2010
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

Summary: This draft is ready as an Informational RFC.
Major issues: 0
Minor issues: 0
Nits/editorial comments: 9

Sorry for the late review, I note that this document is in
IESG evaluation state, so I suspect that one more revision
may be required.  If so, I hope the following feedback aids
in improving an already excellent document.

1) S3.3.2.2, page 14 --- please expand the acronym "RED" on first use.

2) S3.5.1, top of end of page 16 and top of page 17 --- "Linux (and
  Solaris) later set the IP Identification field on a per-IP address
  basis."  Which address --- source or destination?

3) S3.5.2.2, page 18 --- s/Packet loss is can be/Packet loss can be/

4) S3.6, underneath Figure 5 on page 20 ---
  s/In Figure 3, an attacker/In Figure 5, an attacker/

5) Same section, same page ---
  s/router that encounters that this/router to determine that this/

6) S3.7 --- when discussing the Fragment Offset, is it worth
  stating that the Fragment Offset is measured in units of 8 octets
  (thereby giving the magic number 65528 = 8191*8)?

7) S3.8.4, page 26, last bullet item at top of page ---
  s/Four hops away from D./Two hops away from D./

8) S4.1.1.3, page 51, last paragraph of that subsection ---
  Any references?

9) S4.1.1.4, page 52, first bullet item, first sentence ---
  what do you mean by "overlapping fragments"?  Maybe you meant,
  instead, "duplicate fragments"?

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/