[Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-crisp-iris-dchk-07.txt
Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com> Fri, 12 October 2007 12:52 UTC
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Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2007 13:53:58 +0100
From: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-crisp-iris-dchk-07.txt
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I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-ietf-crisp-iris-dchk-07.txt Reviewer: Elwyn Davies Review Date: 12 October 2007 IESG Telechat date: 18 October 2007 Summary: The two major points from the gen-art last call review have been cleared up in this version. One minor issue remains and the editorial comments from the previous review have not been addressed. Comments: s3.1.1.1, <description> bullet: I think the 'must' should be a 'MUST'. Editorial: Title: The acronym 'dchk' appears as DCHK later.. choose one for consistency. Abstract:Expand IRIS acronym (OK, I know it is in the title, but...). s1: Expand DREG acronym. s1. para 2:s/status of domain/status of domain names/ s1, last para: s/effecient/efficient/ s3: Probably good to use the expanded from of DCHK in the section title. s3.1.1: Caption of <domain> example display: it looks as if XML escapes didn't get substituted. s3.1.1, several bullets: 'period at' doesn't make sense. I think you mean 'duration of grace period at' in each case. s5.4: s/registeried/registered/ _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
- [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-crisp-iris… Elwyn Davies