Re: [Gen-art] GEN-Art review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09

Ayan Banerjee <ayabaner@cisco.com> Thu, 27 January 2011 08:21 UTC

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Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2011 00:24:12 -0800
From: Ayan Banerjee <ayabaner@cisco.com>
To: kathleen.moriarty@emc.com, dward@juniper.net
Message-ID: <C9666BAC.950C6%ayabaner@cisco.com>
Thread-Topic: GEN-Art review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Cc: draft-ietf-isis-layer2@tools.ietf.org, gen-art@ietf.org
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] GEN-Art review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Kathleen,

Thanks much for your comments. I have incorporated them in the next revision
of the document. 

Thanks,
Ayan


On 1/19/11 9:24 AM, "kathleen.moriarty@emc.com" <kathleen.moriarty@emc.com>
wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> 
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> 
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
> 
> 
> 
> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may
> receive.
> 
> 
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
> 
> Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
> 
> Review Date: 19 January 2011
> 
> IETF LC End Date:
> 
> IESG Telechat date: (if known)
> 
> 
> 
> Summary:  The document looks pretty good overall, but there are some edits
> that are recommended below.
> 
> 
> Major issues:
> 
> 
> 
> Minor issues:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Nits/editorial comments:
> 
> Abstract:
> 
> Include name for acronym TLV and IS-IS, both are used before being defined.
> 
> 
> 
> Include commas in the following sentence:
> 
> Change from: ³in this document are generic layer 2 additions and specific ones
> as needed are²
> 
> To: ³in this document are generic layer 2 additions and specific ones, as
> needed, are²
> 
> 
> 
> Section 1:
> 
> Paragraph 1, Line 5:
> 
> Change From: Layer
> 
> To: layer
> 
> 
> 
> Paragraph 2, Line 2:
> 
> Include acronym for PDU
> 
> 
> 
> Paragraph 2, Line 3:
> 
> Change from: ³generic layer 2 additions and specific ones as needed are
> defined in²
> 
> To: ³generic layer 2 additions and specific ones, as needed, are defined in²
> 
> 
> 
> Section 2:
> 
> Line 1:
> 
> Change from: ³In this section we specify the enhancements²
> 
> To either: ³This section specifies the enhancements²
> 
> Or: ³In this section, we specify the enhancements²
> 
> 
> 
> Line 2:
> 
> Change from: ³Layer-2²
> 
> To: ³layer 2²
> 
> OR make the use of this consistent in the document.
> 
> 
> Section 2.1:
> 
> Bullet 4:
> 
> Make use of ³Layer-2-IS-IS² consistent in the document.
> 
> 
> 
> Paragraph 2:
> 
> Note use of Level 1 and Layer 2 in this paragraph to make consistent (dash/no
> dash, upper or lower case ³L²)
> 
> 
> 
> Define acronym LSP in first line
> 
> 
> 
> Section 2.2:
> 
> Line 1:
> 
> Change from: ³Multi Topology aware²
> 
> To: ³Multi-Topology Aware²
> 
> 
> 
> Bullet 5 (acronym already defined, it can be completely spelled out or use the
> defined acronym):
> 
> Change From: ³sub-TLVs: The MT aware Port Capabilities TLV²
> 
> To: ³sub-TLVs: The MT-PORT_CAP TLV²
> 
> 
> 
> Last sentence: Include acronym for IIH.
> 
>

[Gen-art] GEN-Art review of draft-ietf-isis-layer… kathleen.moriarty
Re: [Gen-art] GEN-Art review of draft-ietf-isis-l… Ayan Banerjee