[Gen-art] Genart review of draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08

[Christer Holmberg <[e-mail]>]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>



Document:                         draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08



Reviewer:                           Christer Holmberg



Review Date:                     26 September 2013



IETF LC End Date:             30 September 2013



IETF Telechat Date:         N/A



Summary:  The document is well written, and ready for publication, with some minor editorial nits that I ask the authors to consider fixing.



Major Issues: None



Minor Issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:


Abstract:
------------

Q_A_1:

I would suggest to modify "is the" to "specifies the".


Section 1:
-------------

Q_1_1:

In the abstract the text says "Host Identity Protocol-Based Overlay Networking Environment (HIP BONE)", and in Section 1 the text says "HIP BONE (Host Identify Protocol-Based Overlay Networking Environment)". I suggest to be consistent.


Q_1_2:

Throughout the document, you talk about "RELOAD HIP BONE". For that reason, I suggest to expand:

"This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs."

...to:

"This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs, referred to as RELOAD HIP BONEs."



Section 3:
-------------

Q_3_1:

I suggest to modify:

"The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD, which is specified in [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]."

...to:

"The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]."



Q_3_2:

Please expand RELOAD on first occurrence (outside the abstract).


Section 4:
-------------

Q_4_1:

Please expand ORCHID on first occurrence.


Section 5:
-------------

Q_5_1:

I suggest to remove "defined in Section 6.5 of [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]", as you already state this in Section 3.