Re: [Gen-art] Genart review of draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08

[Ari Keränen <[e-mail]>]

Thanks for the review and comments Christer! We'll take these into 
account for the next revision.


Cheers,
Ari

On 9/26/13 10:25 AM, Christer Holmberg wrote:
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>
>
> Document:                         draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08
>
> Reviewer:                           Christer Holmberg
>
> Review Date:                     26 September 2013
>
> IETF LC End Date:             30 September 2013
>
> IETF Telechat Date:         N/A
>
> Summary:  The document is well written, and ready for publication, with
> some minor editorial nits that I ask the authors to consider fixing.
>
> Major Issues: None
>
> Minor Issues: None
>
> Nits/editorial comments:
>
> Abstract:
>
> ------------
>
> Q_A_1:
>
> I would suggest to modify “is the” to “specifies the”.
>
> Section 1:
>
> -------------
>
> Q_1_1:
>
> In the abstract the text says “Host Identity Protocol-Based Overlay
> Networking Environment (HIP BONE)”, and in Section 1 the text says “HIP
> BONE (Host Identify Protocol-Based Overlay Networking Environment)”. I
> suggest to be consistent.
>
> Q_1_2:
>
> Throughout the document, you talk about “RELOAD HIP BONE”. For that
> reason, I suggest to expand:
>
> “This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional
> details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs.”
>
> …to:
>
> “This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional
> details needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs, referred to as RELOAD
> HIP BONEs.”
>
> Section 3:
>
> -------------
>
> Q_3_1:
>
> I suggest to modify:
>
> “The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD, which is specified in
> [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”
>
> …to:
>
> “The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”
>
> Q_3_2:
>
> Please expand RELOAD on first occurrence (outside the abstract).
>
> Section 4:
>
> -------------
>
> Q_4_1:
>
> Please expand ORCHID on first occurrence.
>
> Section 5:
>
> -------------
>
> Q_5_1:
>
> I suggest to remove “defined in Section 6.5 of [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]”,
> as you already state this in Section 3.
>