Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ason-routing-ospf-07
"Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk> Tue, 07 April 2009 22:35 UTC
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From: Adrian Farrel <adrian@olddog.co.uk>
To: Ben Campbell <ben@estacado.net>, PAPADIMITRIOU Dimitri <Dimitri.Papadimitriou@alcatel-lucent.be>
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Date: Tue, 07 Apr 2009 23:34:24 +0100
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Cc: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ason-routing-ospf-07
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Hi Ben, New revision just out fixes the issues. Thanks again. Adrian ----- Original Message ----- From: "Ben Campbell" <ben@estacado.net> To: "PAPADIMITRIOU Dimitri" <Dimitri.Papadimitriou@alcatel-lucent.be> Cc: "Adrian Farrel" <adrian@olddog.co.uk>; "General Area Review Team" <gen-art@ietf.org>; <rcallon@juniper.net>; <dward@cisco.com> Sent: Tuesday, March 17, 2009 7:54 PM Subject: Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ason-routing-ospf-07 > For the record, this email along with Adrian's address all of my > comments. > > Thanks! > > Ben. > > > On Mar 13, 2009, at 8:19 AM, PAPADIMITRIOU Dimitri wrote: > >> Adrian: >> >>> -----Original Message----- >>> From: Adrian Farrel [mailto:adrian@olddog.co.uk] >>> Sent: Friday, March 13, 2009 2:07 PM >>> To: Ben Campbell; PAPADIMITRIOU Dimitri; General Area Review Team >>> Cc: rcallon@juniper.net; dward@cisco.com >>> Subject: Re: Gen-ART LC review of >>> draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-ason-routing-ospf-07 >>> >>> Hi Ben, >>> >>> Thanks for your review. >>> >>> Dimitri, need your help! >>> See in line below. >>> >>> Adrian >>> >>>> Minor issues: >>>> >>>> -- Section 9.1: >>>> >>>> This section shows the sub-TLV types as TBD, but at least >>> some of the >>>> references sections specify type numbers. >>> >>> OK, I found section 9.1 >>> | Value Sub-TLV >>> Reference >>> | ----------- -------------------------------------------- >>> ---------- >>> | TBD Local TE Router ID >>> [This.ID] >>> >>> But, in section 5.3 >>> | The Type of the Local TE Router-ID sub-TLV is 5 >>> >>> Similarly, >>> | TBD Local and Remote TE Router ID >>> [This.ID] >>> >>> But, section 5.2 >>> | The Type of the Local and Remote TE Router-ID sub-TLV is 17 >>> >>> Also, >>> | TBD Node IPv4 Local Prefix >>> [This.ID] >>> | TBD Node IPv6 Local Prefix >>> [This.ID] >>> >>> But in section 3 >>> | - Node IPv4 Local Prefix sub-TLV: Type 3 - Length: variable >>> | - Node IPv6 Local Prefix sub-TLV: Type 4 - Length: variable >>> >>> Dimitri, are these values: >>> - required >>> - desired >>> - suggested? >> >> The former. >> >>>> Nits/editorial comments: >>>> >>>> -- general: >>>> >>>> It would be helpful to have referenceable numbers for the >>> TLV format >>>> figures. >>> >>> Yeah, might be nice, but since the figures are not referenced >>> outside the >>> section in which they appear, I think we won't bother this time. >> >> usually we ref. the sub-section itself. >> >>>> Using non-mnemonic citations as if they were nouns in a >>> sentence creates >>>> extra work for the reader, who must flip back to the references to >>>> understand the sentence. That is, the form "...defined >>> in [xxx]". It's >>>> better to say "defined in foo [xxx]". It's not as bad with >>> mnemonic >>>> citations (e.g. "defined in [foo]"), but it can still >>> cause confusion if >>>> text is quoted in other documents without the associated reference >>>> section. >>> >>> Hmmm. >>> This notation seems to be used pretty widely. >>> I'd hate to see text that said "..defined in RFC 1234 [RFC1234]." :-) >> >> it is correct but as most IETF refs. are RFCs it reads often like Adrian >> states. >> >>>> -- section 2, 2nd paragraph: "The >>>> limit of the subdivision results is an RA that contains just two >>>> sub-networks interconnected by a single link." >>>> >>>> I don't follow the last sentence. Is it possible "results >>> is" was meant >>>> to be "results in"? >>> >>> Yes. Thanks. >>> >>>> -- section 3.1, last paragraph, first sentence: "The local >>> addresses that >>>> can be learned from Opaque TE LSAs." >>>> >>>> incomplete sentence. Is "that" spurious? >>> >>> Good catch. >>> OLD >>> The local addresses that can be learned from Opaque TE >>> LSAs. That is, >>> router address and TE interface addresses SHOULD NOT be advertised >>> in the node IPv4 local prefix sub-TLV. >>> NEW >>> The local addresses that can be learned from Opaque TE >>> LSAs (that is, >>> the router address and TE interface addresses) SHOULD NOT be >>> advertised in the node IPv4 local prefix sub-TLV. >>> >>>> section 3.2, first paragraph after the figure: "Length is >>> set to Sum[n] [4 >>>> + #32-bit words/4] where n is the >>>> number of local prefixes included in the sub-TLV." >>>> >>>> I'm not sure I understand the expression. >>> >>> But you think you might? :-) >>> >>> Hard doing scientific notation in ASCII, isn't it? >>> OLD >>> Length is set to Sum[n][4 + #32-bit words/4] where n is the >>> number of local prefixes included in the sub-TLV. The >>> encoding of >>> each prefix potentially using fewer than four 32-bit words is >>> described below. >>> NEW >>> Length is set to the sum over all of the local prefixes >>> included in >>> the sub-TLV of (4 + (number of 32-bit words in the prefix)/4 ). >>> The encoding of each prefix potentially using fewer than four >>> 32-bit words is described below. >> >> correct. >> >>>> -- section 4.1, 3rd paragraph: >>>> >>>> Please expand LSC and PSC on first use. >>> >>> oke >>> >>>> -- section 6, 3rd paragraph: >>>> >>>> s/informtation/information >>> >>> oke >>> >>>> -- idnits reports the following: >>> >>> Who can keep up with the IPR change rate? >>> All IPR notices correct at time of submission. >>> No doubt they will be updated and correct many times in the >>> next weeks. >> >> is there something specific here to be done from my side ? >> >> much thanks, >> -dimitri. >>> Many thanks, >>> Adrian >>> >>> > >
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-ccamp-g… Ben Campbell
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… PAPADIMITRIOU Dimitri
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… Ben Campbell
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… Ben Campbell
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… Adrian Farrel
- Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-cca… Ben Campbell