Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr-06

IJsbrand Wijnands <ice@cisco.com> Mon, 18 May 2015 07:11 UTC

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From: IJsbrand Wijnands <ice@cisco.com>
In-Reply-To: <2E380F07-1489-4D15-B80F-2D42D67FBD4F@piuha.net>
Date: Mon, 18 May 2015 09:11:38 +0200
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References: <94FB12C5-C701-4763-AFC0-3996E3C1F8E8@vigilsec.com> <2E380F07-1489-4D15-B80F-2D42D67FBD4F@piuha.net>
To: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com>
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Cc: IETF Gen-ART <gen-art@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr.all@ietf.org, IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr-06
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Hi Russ,

Thanks again for your review and sorry for having missed this email. I’ve adopted your suggestions and incorporated them into version -08. (attached).

Thx,

Ice.

> On 14 May 2015, at 00:39, Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net> wrote:
> 
> Thanks for your review, Russ.
> 
> For what it is worth, I do not see any changes relating to your comments in the -07. Have you authors seen Russ’ comments?
> 
> Jari
> 
> On 17 Apr 2015, at 18:25, Russ Housley <housley@vigilsec.com> wrote:
> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
>> Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
>> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>> 
>> This review is in response to a request for early Gen-ART review.
>> 
>> Document: draft-ietf-rtgwg-mofrr-06
>> Reviewer: Russ Housley
>> Review Date: 2015-04-17
>> IETF LC End Date: 2015-04-30
>> IESG Telechat date: unknown
>> 
>> Summary: Almost Ready
>> 
>> 
>> Major Concerns:
>> 
>> None
>> 
>> 
>> Minor Concerns:
>> 
>> Please add POP to the list of terms in Section 1.2.
>> 
>> The introduction to Section 6 really only talks about Section 6.1.
>> Perhaps Sections 6 and 6.1 should be merged.  If they are merged, it
>> could look like this: 
>> 
>>  6.  MoFRR Applicability to Dual-Plane Topology
>> 
>>  MoFRR applicability is topology dependent.  The applicability is the
>>  same as LFA FRR which is discussed in [RFC6571].
>> 
>>  MoFRR works best in dual-planes topologies as illustrated in the
>>  figures below.  MoFRR may be enabled on any router in the network.
>>  In the figures below, MoFRR is shown enabled on the Provider Edge
>>  (PE) routers to illustrate one way in which the technology may be
>>  deployed.
>> 
>>  . . . 
>> 
>> If this suggestion is taken, Sections 6.2, 6.3, and 6.4 could become
>> top-level sections of their own.
>> 
>> 
>> Other Comments:
>> 
>> The figures are referenced in many ways: FIG3, Fig3, and Fig 3.
>> Please pick one style and use it throughout the document.
>> 
>> Section 1, 2nd paragraph: add a period at the end of the paragraph.
>> 
>> Section 1.2, LFA definition: add a period after the first sentence.
>> 
>> Section 4, intro paragraph: Delete "  See below;" from the end.
>> 
>> Section 5, 1st paragraph: s/section explore some/section explores some/
>> 
>