[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01
<david.black@emc.com> Wed, 13 July 2011 00:46 UTC
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From: david.black@emc.com
To: jmpolk@cisco.com, gen-art@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org
Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2011 20:44:54 -0400
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-polk-local-emergency-rph-namespace-01 Reviewer: David L. Black Review Date: July 12, 2011 IETF LC End Date: July 13, 2011 Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. This draft defines a SIP Resource Priority header namespace, "esnet", for use in providing preferential treatment to emergency calls (e.g., from on-scene responders). This field is an addition to rather than a replacement for existing notions of priority in the SIP Resource Priority header. Section 2 explains why this was done, but section 2 is a bit sloppy and imprecise. Some level of imprecision is necessary as this draft deliberately does not specify how this header namespace is used to provide preferential treatment. Nonetheless, the following two items could be improved in Section 2's discussion: 1) Explain the reason for including the second paragraph, the paragraph that references RFC 4412's discouragement of modification of priorities within an administrative domain. That paragraph's not connected to the rest of section 2. 2) Explicitly state that one of the anticipated uses of the priorities in the esnet namespace is to override the ordinary priorities found elsewhere in the Resource Priority header. Small nit: There's an extraneous "to" in the first line of section 3: The "esnet" namespace should not to be considered generic for all ^^ idnits 2.12.12 found a few formatting problems: == You're using the IETF Trust Provisions' Section 6.b License Notice from 12 Sep 2009 rather than the newer Notice from 28 Dec 2009. (See http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info/) == It seems as if not all pages are separated by form feeds - found 0 form feeds but 7 pages == The copyright year in the IETF Trust and authors Copyright Line does not match the current year Thanks, --David ---------------------------------------------------- David L. Black, Distinguished Engineer EMC Corporation, 176 South St., Hopkinton, MA 01748 +1 (508) 293-7953 FAX: +1 (508) 293-7786 david.black@emc.com Mobile: +1 (978) 394-7754 ----------------------------------------------------
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emer… david.black
- [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-polk-local-emer… Black, David