[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-cdmi-mediatypes-02

[<[e-mail]>]

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.

Document: draft-cdmi-mediatypes-02
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: 5 December 2010
IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-09
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:  The document looks pretty good overall, but there are some edits that are recommended below.  The Acknowledgements section should get moved to a later section in the document.

Major issues:

Minor issues:
Section 5:
Recommend moving the Acknowledgements section to the end of the document.  The current placement makes it feel like the document is complete when sections like security are still later in the document.



Nits/editorial comments:

Section 1, sentence two:
Recommend adding a comma:
From:   As part of this interface the
To:     As part of this interface, the

Section 2, first sentence:
I don't think the word definitely is necessary as you are defining the storage cloud as being across a network.
From:   A storage cloud is a storage service hosted either on-premise or off-
   premise, definitely across a network.
To:     A storage cloud is a storage service hosted either on-premise or off-
   premise across a network.

Section 2, Second sentence:
Change "is" to "are" - referring to resources which are plural.
From:   An important part of the cloud
   model, in general, is the concept of a pool of resources that is
   drawn from, on demand, in small increments (smaller than what one
   would typically purchase by buying equipment).
To:     An important part of the cloud
   model, in general, is the concept of a pool of resources that are
   drawn from, on demand, in small increments (smaller than what one
   would typically purchase by buying equipment).

Section 2, third paragraph, second sentence:
Consider rewording this sentence, I am not sure what the second part of it is trying to convey.
" In addition, data system metadata can be set on containers and their
   contained data elements through this interface."

Section 3, first sentence:
Recommend changing From:
In this section we summarize the processing of each media type.
To: This section summarizes the processing of each media type.

second sentence:
From: In this document we provide only the essential information.
To: This document provides only the essential information.

Section 3.3
Add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Section 3.5
Add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Section 7
Add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Section 7.1
Add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Section 7.2
Add a period at the end of the last sentence.

Change the last sentence From:
These are described fully i section 16.1 of the CDMI specification
To: These are described fully in section 16.1 of the CDMI specification.