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[Gen-art] Gen-ART Telechat Call review of draft-ietf-ipsecme-rfc7321bis-05

Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com> Tue, 14 March 2017 20:22 UTC

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From: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazipour@ericsson.com>
To: "draft-ietf-ipsecme-rfc7321bis.all@tools.ietf.org" <draft-ietf-ipsecme-rfc7321bis.all@tools.ietf.org>, "gen-art@ietf.org" <gen-art@ietf.org>
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Telechat Call review of draft-ietf-ipsecme-rfc7321bis-05
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-ipsecme-rfc7321bis-05
Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
Review Date: 2017-03-14
IETF LC End Date: 2017-03-15
IESG Telechat date: 2017-03-16

Summary: This draft is ready to be published as Standards RFC, but I have some comments.

Major issues:
Minor issues:
Nits/editorial comments:
-[Page 4], "downgraded from MUST to MUST-". MUST- is defined later in the document. Perhaps a reference in the text should point to that section on p.5.
-[Page 7], "were not been mentioned"---->"have not been mentioned"
-[Page 7], "this document clarify"---->"this document clarifies"
-[Page 11], "that revisions of that"---->"that revisions of this"

-general, some acronyms are not spelled out...VPN, MTU..
-Tables P.5,6,8,9,10. Giving them a caption would make the document clearer.



Best Regards,
Meral
---
Meral Shirazipour
Ericsson Research
www.ericsson.com

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