[Gen-art] Re: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tsvwg-quickstart-06.txt

Francis -

> I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
> reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
> http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Many thanks for the review!   We have made all of the editing changes 
that you
suggested, and I will post the revised draft to the Quick-Start web 
page in a day or two
(after all of the co-authors have had a change to see all of the 
changes).  Two items
that are left are the two items requiring feedback from v6ops or IPv6 
people.

Some detailed feedback is below.

> Comments: I have two major concerns and some minor comments:
>  * the overview (section 2.1, pages 15-17) fails to introduce the
>    real protocol: no mention of the report or of the fact the
>    response is carried in a TCP option, at the opposite of request
>    and report. So when a new reader reaches the page 20 he is lost
>    (at least I was the first time :-).
>    I believe it is easy to fix, the only issue is to get a "fresh"
>    reader to check the new text...

I have make these changes, but I don't really think that it needs a 
"fresh"
reader to check it out.  Section 2.1 had a general discussion of 
"transport-level
mechanisms to inform the sender of the status of the Quick-Start 
Request",
and I added some sentences making it explicit that for TCP, this is done
with the Quick-Start Response option in the TCP header.

>  * the IPv6 part needs to be improved: I suggest to ask in the mailing
>    list(s) or the WG chairs, perhaps more v6ops than ipv6 as questions
>    are more about concrete details than protocol theory.
>    See below for some examples of this concern.

Yep, we put this on the TODO list.

>  - 4.1 page 28: there is a nice discussion about end point address
>    changes. As it should become common with IPv6 multi-homing IMHO
>    it should be read by IPv6 people...

This is on the TODO list also.

- Sally
http://www.icir.org/floyd/

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