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Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-capwap-dhc-ac-option-01.txt

"Pat Calhoun (pacalhou)" <pcalhoun@cisco.com> Sat, 12 July 2008 13:15 UTC

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From: "Pat Calhoun (pacalhou)" <pcalhoun@cisco.com>
To: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr, gen-art@ietf.org
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-capwap-dhc-ac-option-01.txt
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Thanks for the review, Francis. Please see my comments below.

PatC 

-----Original Message-----
From: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr [mailto:Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr] 
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2008 1:27 AM
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: Pat Calhoun (pacalhou); dromasca@avaya.com
Subject: review of draft-ietf-capwap-dhc-ac-option-01.txt

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.


Document: draft-ietf-capwap-dhc-ac-option-01.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2008-07-10
IETF LC End Date: 2008-07-14
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready with nits

Comments: I have two general questions and the usual editioral things
(here editorial means they can be handled by the RFC Editor):

 - the first general question is about references to DHCP:
  * the whole document, including the Abstract, assumes the reader
   already knows what is DHCP. I have no concern about this but perhaps
   I should? I propose to keep this point closed until someone else
raises it
   (so it could enter into the any other LC comments)
<PRC> OK, if it comes up we will deal with it.

  * 1.2 (Terminology) is only about CAPWAP, IMHO even you don't abuse of
   DHCP specific terms it is a good place to add DHCP references (the
   three at the beginning of the Security Considerations for instance).
<PRC> I added a reference to RFC2131 in section 1.2 as it has a good
terminology (section 1.5)

 - the second question is about the use (or abuse) of 2119 keywords at
   unusual places, namely in the Introduction (i.e., before the 2119
   reference) and in the IANA Considerations. But it is only a question
   of usage/style...
<PRC> I fixed the reference in the Introductions section.

 - in TOC and section 6: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments 
<PRC> I think perhaps your version is the queen's english, while mine is
the one accepted in the US :(

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr
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