Re: [hrpc] Fwd: New Version Notification for draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05.txt

[Bob Harold <[e-mail]>]

On Mon, Jun 18, 2018 at 8:14 AM Niels ten Oever <[e-mail]>
wrote:

> Hi all,
>
> A new version of draft-political, with a thorough revision of the
> structure and some edits.
>
> I made a clearer differentiation between the mapping of the different
> positions on the political nature and outcome of technology and the IETF
> standards process.
>
> There is also a new abstract and a new conclusion which answers the
> research question.
>
> Looking forward to discuss! If there are comments, am happy to make a
> new version before IETF102.
>
> Best,
>
> Niels
>
>
> -------- Forwarded Message --------
> Subject: New Version Notification for draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05.txt
> Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2018 05:00:25 -0700
> From: [e-mail]
> To: Niels ten Oever <[e-mail]>, Amelia Andersdotter
> <[e-mail]>
>
>
> A new version of I-D, draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05.txt
> has been successfully submitted by Niels ten Oever and posted to the
> IETF repository.
>
> Name:           draft-tenoever-hrpc-political
> Revision:       05
> Title:          On the Politics of Standards
> Document date:  2018-06-18
> Group:          Individual Submission
> Pages:          18
> URL:
> https://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05.txt
> Status:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-tenoever-hrpc-political/
> Htmlized:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05
> Htmlized:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-tenoever-hrpc-political
> Diff:
> https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-tenoever-hrpc-political-05
>
> Abstract:
>    The IETF cannot ordain which standards or protocols are to be used on
>    network, but the standards developing process in the IETF has a
>    normative effect.  Among other things the standardisation work at the
>    IETF has implications on what is perceived as technologically
>    possible and useful where networking technologies are being deployed,
>    and its standards output reflect was is considered by the technical
>    community as feasible and good practice.  Because mediates many
>    aspects of modern life, and therefore contributes to the ordering of
>    societies and communities, the consideration of the politics and
>    (potential) impact of protocols should be part of the standardization
>    and development process.
>

Minor nits:

Abstract

"Because mediates many"

Perhaps:
"Because it mediates many"


4.  Technology and Politics: a literature review

"Without judging them on their internal of external consistency they"

"of" -> "or"


4.3.  All protocols are political sometimes

"protocols can possible be predicted, on could at least consider the"

"on" -> "one"


4.4.  The network has its own logic and values

"This means that the network already contains constrains on what can be
deployed into it."

"constrains" -> "constraints"


7.  Conclusion

"undispited that standards and protocols are both product of a"

"undispited" -> "undisputed"

-- 
Bob Harold