Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery-05
Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net> Thu, 29 August 2013 09:59 UTC
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Subject: Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery-05
From: Jari Arkko <jari.arkko@piuha.net>
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Date: Thu, 29 Aug 2013 12:59:06 +0300
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To: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
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Cc: "gen-art@ietf.org Review Team" <gen-art@ietf.org>, draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery.all@tools.ietf.org, "ietf@ietf.org list" <ietf@ietf.org>
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Peter: Thank you very much for your review. Based on this review and my own review, I am recommending the approval of this draft in today's telechat. (Note that other ADs have raised a number of other issues, some of which I agree with, but I did not want to repeat their comments.) Jari On Jul 31, 2013, at 11:50 PM, Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com> wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on > Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> > > Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-res-gw-lis-discovery-05 > Reviewer: Peter Yee > Review Date: Jul-31-2013 > IETF LC End Date: Jul-31-2013 > IESG Telechat date: TBD > > Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that > should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits.] > > The draft describes a means by which Devices behind a residential gateway > may discover the correct Location Information Server on the access network > providing Internet access to residential gateway. The Device may thereby > gain access to certain location-based services. > > Major issues: None > > Minor issues: None > > Nits: > > Section 1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: should "data" be appended > after "location"? The wording is otherwise odd. > > Page 7, 3rd paragraph: change "which" to "that". > > Page 9, section 4.2, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: I'll admit my ignorance > of the finer points of the DNS and inquire what this sentence is supposed > to mean. To what are the additional domain names added and how does this > allow a DNS record to cover a larger set of addresses? Perhaps it's just > the wording or my lack of knowledge, but I didn't follow this point fully. > > Page 9, section 4.2, 2nd bullet item: change "sucessively" to > "successively". > > Page 11, section 4.6, 1st paragraph, 4th sentence: insert "a" before > "STUN server" or change "server" to "servers" depending on how many > need to be configured. > > Page 12, 1st sentence: delete "a". > > Page 12, 1st sentence: What about /56 for IPv6? > > Page 14, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete "a" before > "IP addresses" or change "addresses" to "address" depending on > how many false addresses you mean. > > Page 14, 6th paragraph, last sentence: Are there any concrete > suggestions on who a device might determine accuracy? > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > Gen-art@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art