RE: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03

"Tirumaleswar Reddy (tireddy)" <tireddy@cisco.com> Tue, 09 August 2016 04:50 UTC

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From: "Tirumaleswar Reddy (tireddy)" <tireddy@cisco.com>
To: Pete Resnick <presnick@qti.qualcomm.com>, General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility.all@ietf.org>, "tram@ietf.org" <tram@ietf.org>, IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: RE: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
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Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2016 04:50:16 +0000
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Hi Pete,

Thanks for the review. Please see inline

From: Pete Resnick [mailto:presnick@qti.qualcomm.com]
Sent: Monday, August 8, 2016 10:43 PM
To: General Area Review Team <gen-art@ietf.org>rg>; draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility.all@ietf.org; tram@ietf.org; IETF <ietf@ietf.org>
Subject: Gen-ART LC review of draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03


I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq.

Document: draft-ietf-tram-turn-mobility-03
Reviewer: Pete Resnick
Review Date: 2016-08-08
IETF LC End Date: 2016-08-11
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has some minor issues and nits that should be fixed before publication.

Major issues:

None

Minor issues:

3.1.2 - Change "MUST" to "will" both times in the second paragraph. The last sentence of the section I don't understand; it doesn't seem to have any interoperability implications, and I don't see why the client can't examine the ticket in any way it wants. Either justify the sentence or delete it.

[TR] Even if the client examines the ticket there is no guarantee that it will be able decode its fields. This line is added to suggest that there is no need for the client to examine the ticket.

3.2.2 - Change "may" to "MAY" in the sixth paragraph. That is a protocol option being described there.

[TR] Updated.

Nits/editorial comments:

3.1.4 - Change "MAY" to "can" in the second paragraph. I'd also split that sentence into two sentences as the first half has nothing to do with the second half.

[TR] Changed.

3.2.1 - The last sentence of 3.2.1 is confusing until you read 3.2.2 and 3.2.3. I would simply delete the sentence. I don't think it adds anything.

[TR] Sure, deleted.

3.4 - Put the "TBD" in there so that the RFC Editor can update.

[TR] Added.

4 - Put a note to the RFC Editor here to update sections 3.1.4 and 3.4 with the error number. That will make sure it gets updated properly.

[TR] Yes, updated.

-Tiru

pr
--
Pete Resnick



http://www.qualcomm.com/~presnick/<http://www.qualcomm.com/%7Epresnick/>
Qualcomm Technologies, Inc. - +1 (858)651-4478