Gen-ART LC/Telechat review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com> Sun, 17 April 2016 20:10 UTC
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Date: Sun, 17 Apr 2016 13:10:17 -0700
Subject: Gen-ART LC/Telechat review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
From: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
To: draft-ietf-pce-iro-update.all@ietf.org
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Thread-Topic: Gen-ART LC/Telechat review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06 Reviewer: Peter Yee Review Date: Apr-17-2016 IETF LC End Date: Mar-29-2016 IESG Telechat date: Apr-21-2016 Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Standards Track RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits] This specification documents the results of a survey regarding implementation of the Include Route Object for PCEP and uses those results to clarify the meaning of section 7.12 of RFC 5440 with updated text. Major issues: None Minor issues: None really Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: Are you sure that confusing interpretation of the IRO ordering or the L bit doesn’t cause any security issues? I’m not PCEP savvy enough to know if mistakenly sending information that should have gone strictly through a loose node would disclose anything that the originator didn’t really wish any nodes outside of the strict list to see. Nits: Page 3, first full paragraph: insert “an” before “IRO”. Page 3, Section 2 title: insert “the” before “IRO”. Page 3, Section 2, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert “them” before the second “as”. Page 4, Section 2, 1st paragraph: append a colon to the end of the paragraph. Page 4, Section 2, indented bullet item: remove the hyphen and put the remainder between double quotes, not single quotes. Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before “IRO”. Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 2nd sentence: change “comprising” to “comprised”. Insert “to” before “section”. Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before “IRO”. Change the comma to a semicolon. Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 3rd sentence: insert “the” before “Loose”. Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete comma. Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change trailing space and hyphen to a colon. Page 4, Section 3, 1st bullet item: delete comma after “IRO”. Insert “the” before the last “IRO”. Page 5, Section 3, 1st paragraph: insert “the” before “IRO”. Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: insert “the” before “IRO”.