Re: Gen-ART LC/Telechat review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06

[Dhruv Dhody <[e-mail]>]

Hi Peter,

Thanks for the diligent review! See Inline...

On Mon, Apr 18, 2016 at 1:40 AM, Peter Yee <[e-mail]> wrote:

> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for
> the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or
> AD before posting a new version of the draft.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
> Reviewer: Peter Yee
> Review Date: Apr-17-2016
> IETF LC End Date: Mar-29-2016
> IESG Telechat date: Apr-21-2016
>
> Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Standards
> Track RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication.
> [Ready with nits]
>
> This specification documents the results of a survey regarding
> implementation of the Include Route Object for PCEP and uses those results
> to clarify the meaning of section 7.12 of RFC 5440 with updated text.
>
> Major issues: None
>
> Minor issues: None really
>
> Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: Are you sure that
> confusing interpretation of the IRO ordering or the L bit doesn’t cause
> any security issues?  I’m not PCEP savvy enough to know if mistakenly
> sending information that should have gone strictly through a loose node
> would disclose anything that the originator didn’t really wish any nodes
> outside of the strict list to see.
>
>
​[Dhruv]: My first instinct is to say that this isn't an issue, as PCEP
speaker are expected to know about the nodes (via TED) irrespective of
strict and loose interpretation of that node. I will discuss this again
with the our shepherd.
​


>
> Nits:
>
> Page 3, first full paragraph: insert “an” before “IRO”.
>
> Page 3, Section 2 title: insert “the” before “IRO”.
>
> Page 3, Section 2, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert “them” before the
> second “as”.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, 1st paragraph: append a colon to the end of the
> paragraph.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, indented bullet item: remove the hyphen and put the
> remainder between double quotes, not single quotes.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
> “IRO”.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 2nd sentence: change
> “comprising” to “comprised”.  Insert “to” before “section”.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
> “IRO”.  Change the comma to a semicolon.
>
> Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 3rd sentence: insert “the”
> before “Loose”.
>
> Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete comma.
>
> Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change trailing space and
> hyphen to a colon.
>
> Page 4, Section 3, 1st bullet item: delete comma after “IRO”.  Insert
> “the” before the last “IRO”.
>
> Page 5, Section 3, 1st paragraph: insert “the” before “IRO”.
>
> Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: insert “the” before “IRO”.
>
>
>
> ​[Dhruv]: Thanks! Will Update!

Regards,
Dhruv​