[Int-dir] Review of draft-ietf-savi-mix-11

Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com> Sat, 15 October 2016 13:39 UTC

Return-Path: <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
X-Original-To: int-dir@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: int-dir@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 046F11294E8; Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:43 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -2.7
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.7 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, FREEMAIL_FROM=0.001, RCVD_IN_DNSWL_LOW=-0.7, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham autolearn_force=no
Authentication-Results: ietfa.amsl.com (amavisd-new); dkim=pass (2048-bit key) header.d=gmail.com
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id uJgcO-n1ptrZ; Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:40 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail-qt0-x233.google.com (mail-qt0-x233.google.com [IPv6:2607:f8b0:400d:c0d::233]) (using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 (128/128 bits)) (No client certificate requested) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTPS id B47DA1294C6; Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:40 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by mail-qt0-x233.google.com with SMTP id f6so94177672qtd.2; Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:40 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20120113; h=from:content-transfer-encoding:mime-version:subject:message-id:date :cc:to; bh=ypX5Zaa2EVs11R4GEluHti3ScIS6ulOSAyh6kmu+S5c=; b=WIVCJABU1KT7cYRgofaffq+ildVVmvb505y9B0wXC/v5M9CCUSocZMJKlOLDFo22uC gS+MkypZniZF2MiAxhwsRyn9eQzdTyvQcj4iXXqZlH8wv9CogaMxjUvQggNp2V90K/k5 x5+75BBQDEDwTuYt6chp2YSlSRIlnR5/fK67Z/8Vo2GROTEzCX2NWanKkwo6BR4BHEUd jtdO1DCQYKVTzgSnN0WvyJnKU85NGeBZaWrMyKLtxjB9sRk7Yv8x8XSVNuZhBuT3K+1k wdmR2U4m7RNwbBCUba64xfYq3k+ANkE3ExHhjkmE6+HBjlpxfQbYpSFQc3+YE8+ia4B2 ddHg==
X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=1e100.net; s=20130820; h=x-gm-message-state:from:content-transfer-encoding:mime-version :subject:message-id:date:cc:to; bh=ypX5Zaa2EVs11R4GEluHti3ScIS6ulOSAyh6kmu+S5c=; b=UwO2nCT0K4F3l2vij9bEVmizLAwnj1Ib7bc879wvQpM+fV6kQ0AdgSKyAw1dMe5O7P Lm/mCUMfBGvCYv5pnA4JyINsH3h9BsNg4/fx2+mqaYXOxIxFZkz8zXQw1ug0KaHwZpX9 bICO8Fiv2VuStsO4iidaQyXNqQYy3ymiHmkgcg6VPcer0yaArYtFZX4sGO0i0yRPLIrX zkmdXn+nTjjnCfI01WzBaW8KEOM/TR6VyNsoI6zMIvUurz41+P5brbwd4DBeKvovBEtf K+3dFkjrozdGxjRvx+VeSSZPspgaXiPavXMODosBji4EYLxyaOmEhZsJoDaTil2CAQ4E JbSw==
X-Gm-Message-State: AA6/9Rn6XNAD9/49QmXL3MH/41V6UnAOru767oxg/mdqrZConMu6Fk+hhrC2oa975rEdiA==
X-Received: by 10.200.53.82 with SMTP id z18mr17356725qtb.82.1476538779748; Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:39 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from [192.168.254.78] ([216.195.12.106]) by smtp.gmail.com with ESMTPSA id m4sm10128411qkf.29.2016.10.15.06.39.38 (version=TLS1_2 cipher=ECDHE-RSA-AES128-GCM-SHA256 bits=128/128); Sat, 15 Oct 2016 06:39:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Mime-Version: 1.0 (Mac OS X Mail 10.0 \(3226\))
Message-Id: <EA05E400-B692-4877-ADFC-9AE72E4D8BA0@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:39:28 -0400
To: int-dir@ietf.org
X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.3226)
Archived-At: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/int-dir/1DV-fP7cbw9cNQ5UhHwDb0ryErs>
Cc: draft-ietf-savi-mix@ietf.org
Subject: [Int-dir] Review of draft-ietf-savi-mix-11
X-BeenThere: int-dir@ietf.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17
Precedence: list
List-Id: "This list is for discussion between the members of the Internet Area directorate." <int-dir.ietf.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/options/int-dir>, <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/browse/int-dir/>
List-Post: <mailto:int-dir@ietf.org>
List-Help: <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/int-dir>, <mailto:int-dir-request@ietf.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2016 13:39:43 -0000

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for <draft-ietf-savi-mix-11>.
These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet
Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these
comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF
contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments
that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate,
see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html

I have one technical issue with the document.  In my opinion, the
document would benefit from a little more detail regarding how the
binding table is used for filtering.  Even a sentence to the effect of
“It is beyond the scope of this document to describe the details of
the filtering mechanism and its use of the combined SAVI binding
table.” would be helpful.

In section 7, I don’t understand “the principle of decision is reasonable”
Can this phrase be reworded for clarity?

The document needs a review for consistency, english language usage
and spelling.    For example, this sentence appears in section3:

   If more than one SAVI method is enabled on a SAVI
   device, the method is referred to as "mix address assignment method"
   in this document.

but the phrase "mix address assignment method" appears nowhere else in
the document.

- Ralph