Re: [Internetgovtech] Comments on draft-iab-iana-framework-02

Abdussalam Baryun <abdussalambaryun@gmail.com> Fri, 04 April 2014 07:19 UTC

Return-Path: <abdussalambaryun@gmail.com>
X-Original-To: internetgovtech@ietfa.amsl.com
Delivered-To: internetgovtech@ietfa.amsl.com
Received: from localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 53FA81A00FD for <internetgovtech@ietfa.amsl.com>; Fri, 4 Apr 2014 00:19:15 -0700 (PDT)
X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at amsl.com
X-Spam-Flag: NO
X-Spam-Score: -1.999
X-Spam-Level:
X-Spam-Status: No, score=-1.999 tagged_above=-999 required=5 tests=[BAYES_00=-1.9, DKIM_SIGNED=0.1, DKIM_VALID=-0.1, DKIM_VALID_AU=-0.1, FREEMAIL_FROM=0.001, HTML_MESSAGE=0.001, SPF_PASS=-0.001] autolearn=ham
Received: from mail.ietf.org ([4.31.198.44]) by localhost (ietfa.amsl.com [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id gGc-kibT42lr for <internetgovtech@ietfa.amsl.com>; Fri, 4 Apr 2014 00:19:09 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from mail-yh0-x234.google.com (mail-yh0-x234.google.com [IPv6:2607:f8b0:4002:c01::234]) by ietfa.amsl.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id C67A51A00FC for <internetgovtech@iab.org>; Fri, 4 Apr 2014 00:19:09 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by mail-yh0-f52.google.com with SMTP id c41so2768944yho.11 for <internetgovtech@iab.org>; Fri, 04 Apr 2014 00:19:05 -0700 (PDT)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed; d=gmail.com; s=20120113; h=mime-version:in-reply-to:references:date:message-id:subject:from:to :cc:content-type; bh=3Sp0B4q7vRKTw/hl7UwwW8J4nl1BW0ce22MqD0UO3hg=; b=RaiZ8fmxK9s1lCqWeg84RDBiowvq0vi9VAP/VfrBtDLUCDjN1v36vXU0GF6S3poab0 ad5iwCbbxt7MMI2h9z37b+05vXOw/emj8I3E8G+NN60JqVIcnRNbGFbib9dVvLNrB/mL 2Tzv771KnUM8NKudYolqPFSZRn5xNpD7L/2y5Hw2aoyCSbgNC0nd7jYJgfO3alDgWeY8 FEmg1lccp+LwjC3Lb240LsGb89ibP6bgg37gjbNOvQ2xrj2gAGf9mNrNHTj1r9kMpSCN pOVOuibo9qrLL3ZSjg4TicTL+ybNXZ9HuzezWM9iiEAWUAf8+ApvsMAjRV/RmJ0zsttc m69Q==
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-Received: by 10.236.75.74 with SMTP id y50mr6597750yhd.38.1396595945211; Fri, 04 Apr 2014 00:19:05 -0700 (PDT)
Received: by 10.170.87.135 with HTTP; Fri, 4 Apr 2014 00:19:05 -0700 (PDT)
In-Reply-To: <6.2.5.6.2.20140403203035.0d788240@elandnews.com>
References: <6.2.5.6.2.20140403203035.0d788240@elandnews.com>
Date: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 08:19:05 +0100
Message-ID: <CADnDZ8_29pMovROJ-2vCxHMd+8fF+xrUqk=5EF3+3ijW_QY0Xw@mail.gmail.com>
From: Abdussalam Baryun <abdussalambaryun@gmail.com>
To: S Moonesamy <sm+ietf@elandsys.com>
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="20cf3005137835abfa04f63255dc"
Archived-At: http://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/internetgovtech/xjLCkpYhIOdDRnv9OJL3d3Mv370
Cc: Olaf Kolkman <olaf@nlnetlabs.nl>, "internetgovtech@iab.org" <internetgovtech@iab.org>
Subject: Re: [Internetgovtech] Comments on draft-iab-iana-framework-02
X-BeenThere: internetgovtech@iab.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.15
Precedence: list
List-Id: Internet Governance and IETF technical work <internetgovtech.iab.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <https://www.iab.org/mailman/options/internetgovtech>, <mailto:internetgovtech-request@iab.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://www.iab.org/mail-archive/web/internetgovtech/>
List-Post: <mailto:internetgovtech@iab.org>
List-Help: <mailto:internetgovtech-request@iab.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <https://www.iab.org/mailman/listinfo/internetgovtech>, <mailto:internetgovtech-request@iab.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 07:19:15 -0000

On Friday, April 4, 2014, S Moonesamy wrote:

> Hi Olaf,
>
> I have a few comments on draft-iab-iana-framework-02.
>
> The title of the draft is "A Framework for Describing the Internet
> Assigned Numbers Authority".  The Abstract states that the "document
> provides a framework for describing the management of Internet registries
> managed by the Internet Assigned Numbers Authority".  I suggest adjusting
> the title of the draft to match what the document is about.


I was thinking to adjust the abstract instead, and make more addition
detail framework for all community not only management, this will mean the
draft considers multistakehder.


>
>  .....



> The audience is likely not the IETF.  I suggest not writing from an IETF
> perspective.  I don't see any reason to mention RFC 2119; you are already
> using plain English.


 This information should be stated, who are the reader, and what background
is needed. I prefer that the draft is written in both perspective, so some
sections are more deep and not simple but some others can be simple for
general reader.

AB