[ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtamib-04.txt
"Wijnen, Bert (Bert)" <bwijnen@lucent.com> Thu, 05 August 2004 18:41 UTC
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From: "Wijnen, Bert (Bert)" <bwijnen@lucent.com>
To: Dave Thaler <dthaler@windows.microsoft.com>, enechamkin@broadcom.com, jf.mule@cablelabs.com
Date: Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:27:01 +0200
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Cc: randy_presuhn@mindspring.com, "C. M. Heard" <heard@pobox.com>, ipcdn@ietf.org
Subject: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtamib-04.txt
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Thanks Dave. Bert > -----Original Message----- > From: Dave Thaler [mailto:dthaler@windows.microsoft.com] > Sent: woensdag 4 augustus 2004 23:33 > To: enechamkin@broadcom.com; jf.mule@cablelabs.com > Cc: ipcdn@ietf.org; Wijnen, Bert (Bert); randy_presuhn@mindspring.com; > C. M. Heard > Subject: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtamib-04.txt > > > Here's my MIB Doctor review of this document and what I believe > MUST/SHOULD/MAY be fixed. > > MUST fix > -------- > 1) There is no IANA Considerations section, and this is now > required in > the > new guidelines. The draft needs something like (based on the > template > in the guidelines): > > 9. IANA Considerations > > The MIB module in this document uses the following > IANA-assigned > OBJECT IDENTIFIER values recorded in the SMI Numbers registry: > > Descriptor OBJECT IDENTIFIER value > ---------- ----------------------- > pktcMtaMib { mib-2 XXX } > > Editor's Note (to be removed prior to publication): > the IANA is > requested to assign a value for "XXX" under the 'mib-2' > subtree and to record the assignment in the SMI > Numbers registry. > When the assignment has been made, the RFC Editor is asked to > replace "XXX" (here and in the MIB module) with the assigned > value and to remove this note. > > 2) The page header on pages 2-51 says July 2002 > > 3) MIB Guidelines say > If the module was developed by an IETF working group, then the > ORGANIZATION clause MUST provide the full name of the > working group > ^^^^^^^^^ > > The draft just uses the WG acronym: > ORGANIZATION "IETF IPCDN Working Group " > > 4) The LAST-UPDATED date predates the REVISION date: > LAST-UPDATED "200406160000Z" -- June 16, 2004 > REVISION "200407160000Z" > ^ > > 5) pktcMtaBasicSmtaCompliance contains > MODULE DOCS-CABLE-DEVICE-MIB > MANDATORY-GROUPS { > docsDevSoftwareGroupV2 > } > but RFC2669 is not referenced as a normative reference > and docsDevSoftwareGroupV2 isn't in there anyway, only > docsDevSoftwareGroup. Is this blocked on the progression > of another > document containing this? Looks like this used to be in > draft-ietf-ipcdn-device-mibv2-*.txt which has now expired. > > 6) SEQUENCE element #4 `pktcMtaDevCmsSolicitedKeyTimeout' > does not match > > order of columnar objects under `pktcMtaDevCmsEntry'. > Should swap the following two lines: > pktcMtaDevCmsSolicitedKeyTimeout Unsigned32, > pktcMtaDevCmsMaxClockSkew Unsigned32, > > 7) pktcMtaDevProvisioningState has 'passWithWarning' (singular) in the > enum, but 'passWithWarnings' (plural) twice in the DESCRIPTION. > Also has 'failOtherReason' in the enum but 'failureOtherReason' > in the DESCRIPTION. > > 8) The comment on page 29 refers to > draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-signaling-02.txt > This should be added to the references section of the doc. > Also grammar error "Upper case must be use to" > ^^^ > > 9) Typo in DESCRIPTION of pktcMtaDevCmsKerbRealmName: > realm table (pktcMtaDevRealmtable)." > ^ capitalize > > 10) The DESCRIPTION of pktcMtaDevRealmTgsGracePeriod has weird > indentation, > and includes weird characters (as do several other objects). > > SHOULD fix > ---------- > 11) pktcMtaDevErrorOidIndex: say what happens after the value 1024 is > reached > > 12) pktcMtaDevErrorOid, pktcMtaDevErrorValue, etc: > why are OIDs of type SnmpAdminString rather than an OBJECT > IDENTIFIER > type/subtype? As is, the management station cannot do > simple things > like expanding the OID into the defined string tokens in the MIB. > > 13) pktcMtaDevServerDhcp1, pktcMtaDevServerDns1, etc: the > DESCRIPTION of > > these objects is worded as if the type is a string rather than an > InetAddress (the "dotted" IP address, etc). Technically, > there's no > dots in the value, only in the displayed version of it. > > 14) pktcMtaDevServerAddressType: what does it mean for this to be > read-write > but the dependent InetAddress fields to be read-only? I.e., what > happens to the latter immediately after the former is set? > > MAY fix > ------- > 15) Consider defining a TC for kerberos realm names, since > this is used > by > multiple objects (pktcMtaDevProvKerbRealmName, > pktcMtaDevRealmName, > and pktcMtaDevCmsKerbRealmName) and has special syntax > restrictions > (1..255 upper case ASCII chars) > > 16) The current conformance statements require read-write in > implementations > to be compliant. Is this intended? Since it currently only > supports > ipv4, it doesn't seem useful to require read-write access to the > InetAddressType objects. > > 17) pktcMtaDevSwCurrentVers is redundant with sysDescr, so > why is this > needed? The draft says: > The data presented in this object MUST be > identical to the software version information contained > in the 'sysDescr' MIB object of the MTA. > > 18) The MIB guidelines suggest using { pktcMtaMib 0 } for the > notification prefix. The draft currently requires two > definitions: > > pktcMtaNotificationPrefix OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { pktcMtaMib 2 } > pktcMtaNotification OBJECT IDENTIFIER ::= { > pktcMtaNotificationPrefix 0 } > > Is there a good reason for this? (e.g. already deployed > implementations?) > > 19) What is the expected behavior when reading > pktcMtaDevRealmName and > pktcMtaDevRealmOrgName when the row is first created and they are > not set? (There's no DEFVAL, and the MIB doesn't say > they have to > be set in the initial createAndWait set.) > > 20) draft-ietf-ipcdn-bpiplus-mib-12.txt is referenced, and is now > draft-ietf-ipcdn-bpiplus-mib-13.txt > > 21) The wording in section 8 varies marginally from the template. > > Template: > > Some of the readable objects in this MIB module (i.e., objects > with a > > MAX-ACCESS other than not-accessible) may be considered > sensitive > or > > Actual: > > Some of the readable objects in this MIB module may be > considered > > sensitive or [...] > _______________________________________________ IPCDN mailing list IPCDN@ietf.org https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ipcdn
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Wijnen, Bert (Bert)
- [ipcdn] Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtamib-04… Dave Thaler
- [ipcdn] snmp version-specific behavior in draft-i… Randy Presuhn
- RE: [ipcdn] Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Jean-Francois Mule
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Jean-Francois Mule
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Jean-Francois Mule
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Eugene Nechamkin
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Wijnen, Bert (Bert)
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Dave Thaler
- [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-mtami… Dave Thaler
- RE: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-m… Jean-Francois Mule
- RE: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-m… Dave Thaler
- RE: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-m… Jean-Francois Mule
- RE: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-m… Jean-Francois Mule
- RE: [ipcdn] RE: Review of draft-ietf-ipcdn-pktc-m… Wijnen, Bert (Bert)