Re: [ippm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-17: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org> Fri, 04 August 2023 13:56 UTC
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From: Lars Eggert <lars@eggert.org>
In-Reply-To: <CAMZsk6dfHW9dm94zzjwQUdfHXmaVYMR1pkc5X0_JbWaUL7rVdA@mail.gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:55:57 +0300
Cc: The IESG <iesg@ietf.org>, ippm-chairs@ietf.org, draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm@ietf.org, ippm@ietf.org
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To: Rakesh Gandhi <rgandhi.ietf@gmail.com>
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Subject: Re: [ippm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-17: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)
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Hi, thanks; I cleared based on -18. Lars > On Aug 4, 2023, at 16:53, Rakesh Gandhi <rgandhi.ietf@gmail.com> wrote: > > Thank you Lars for the review. > > We have posted a revised draft that addresses your comments: > > URL: https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-18.txt > Html: https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-18.html > Diff: https://author-tools.ietf.org/iddiff?url2=draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-18 > > Please let us know if you have further review comments. > > Thanks, > Rakesh > > > > > On Fri, Aug 4, 2023 at 6:28 AM Lars Eggert via Datatracker <noreply@ietf.org> wrote: > Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for > draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-17: Discuss > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all > email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this > introductory paragraph, however.) > > > Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ > for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > DISCUSS: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-srpm-17 > > CC @larseggert > > Thanks to Joel Halpern for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review > (https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/crZp5rrOYaDNMcoM95b5pFQBReo). > > ## Discuss > > Two issues that I think will be quick to fix: > > ### Section 4, paragraph 12 > ``` > other Return Path TLVs if present. A Session-Reflector that supports > this TLV MUST reply using the Return Path received in the Session- > Sender test packet, if possible. > ``` > "MUST ... if possible" is an odd construction. Please rephrase and > clarify the requirements level. > > ### Section 4.1.3, paragraph 16 > ``` > The SRv6 Segment List contains a list of 128-bit IPv6 addresses > representing the SRv6 SIDs. Length of the Sub-TLV modulo MUST be 0. > ``` > Modulo *what*? > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ## Nits > > All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to > address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by > automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there > will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you > did with these suggestions. > > ### Outdated references > > Document references `draft-ietf-ippm-stamp-on-lag-01`, but `-03` is the latest > available revision. > > ### Grammar/style > > #### Section 3, paragraph 4 > ``` > s field in octets. The length is 4 octet for IPv4 address and 16 octet for I > ^^^^^ > ``` > Possible agreement error. The noun "octet" seems to be countable. > > #### Section 3, paragraph 4 > ``` > is 4 octet for IPv4 address and 16 octet for IPv6 address. The Destination > ^^^^^ > ``` > Possible agreement error. The noun "octet" seems to be countable. > > #### Section 4.1, paragraph 4 > ``` > bit): Reply Request Flag at bit 31 (least significant bit) is defined as fol > ^^^^^ > ``` > A determiner may be missing. > > #### Section 4.1.2, paragraph 3 > ``` > s field in octets. The length is 4 octet for IPv4 address and 16 octet for I > ^^^^^ > ``` > Possible agreement error. The noun "octet" seems to be countable. > > #### Section 4.1.2, paragraph 3 > ``` > h is 4 octet for IPv4 address and 16 octet for IPv6 address. 4.1.3. Return Se > ^^^^^ > ``` > Possible agreement error. The noun "octet" seems to be countable. > > #### Section 4.1.3, paragraph 14 > ``` > re two possible combinations for such a interoperability use case: - STAMP S > ^ > ``` > Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. > "an article", "an hour". > > #### Section 6, paragraph 4 > ``` > e allocated according to the "First Come First Served" procedure as specifie > ^^^^ > ``` > It seems that a comma is missing. (Also elsewhere.) > > #### Section 8.1, paragraph 3 > ``` > flow-label, etc. from the packet. Hence for IPv4, for example, different va > ^^^^^ > ``` > A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Hence". > > ## Notes > > This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the > [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into > individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. > > [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md > [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments > [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool > > > > _______________________________________________ > ippm mailing list > ippm@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ippm
- [ippm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ippm-s… Lars Eggert via Datatracker
- Re: [ippm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ip… Rakesh Gandhi
- Re: [ippm] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-ip… Lars Eggert